Best of Unstuck

This reopen-the-school shit is like a perfect microcosm of why and how this entire thing has been so fucked up. There is a legitimate need to get kids back to social environments, yes–I am sure that this is delaying their growth in some way. But the pressure isn’t due to fucking Republicans caring about kids, that’s all bad-faith bullshit. (Just look at how they treat school funding.) This pressure is because the leadership of this country refuses to pay people money to protect themselves because it is bought and paid for by giant corporations that rely on the labor of the parents of these children as their source of profit. Like so many fucking issues in this pandemic, this would be solved by just giving people some fucking money and increasing the availability of testing/tracing. But instead the GOP has distracted millions of Americans with the shiny object of “MUH RIIIIGHTS” and here we fucking are, pretending that we’re reopening schools for the good of the children when really we’re just going to worsen the pandemic, all so that the parents can return to their bullshit jobs without the hassle of dealing with their asshole kids all day.

On another topic

On another topic

Who is this guy?

He was an extremely annoying troll poster who couldn’t be banned because he had nudes of Mason.

On another topic

Was he any good at debating?

No. But can I just say this: a thing I’ve learned in my many sojourns on the internet is how completely useless “debate me, bro” shit is. I just don’t care how good someone is at debating. It’s a quality we glorify because rhetoric was one of the classical liberal arts back in the days of ancient Greece, but the reality is that it’s just so easy for earnest people with good opinions to get snowed by bad-faith sophists with endless layers of bullshit. Just look at this entire cottage industry of Ben Shapiro-style “DEBATE ME!” bros, do you notice how they always seem to have completely toxic views?

To explain all of this is maybe one of the greatest things ever written on the internet. I will recite a passage:

## Libertarianism Makes You Stupid
The Fallacious Proof:
 * Step 1: -1/1 = 1/-1 
 * Step 2: Taking the square root of both sides: sqrt(-1/1) = sqrt(1/-1)
 * Step 3: Simplifying: sqrt(-1) / sqrt(1) = sqrt(1) / sqrt(-1)  
 * Step 4: In other words, i/1 = 1/i.
 * Step 5: Therefore, i / 2 = 1 / (2i),
 * Step 6: i/2 + 3/(2i) = 1/(2i) + 3/(2i),
 * Step 7: i (i/2 + 3/(2i) ) = i ( 1/(2i) + 3/(2i) ),
 * Step 8: (i^2)/2 + (3i)/2i = i/(2i) + (3i)/(2i),
 * Step 9: (-1)/2 + 3/2 = 1/2 + 3/2,
 * Step 10: and this shows that 1=2. 
Even more advanced! Complex numbers have been used for centuries, who can doubt the soundness of their principles?

This is why, as a pure matter of tactics, it’s dangerous to get into preaching contests with Libertarians. Sometimes it’s better to say “1=2 is utter nonsense, and if you believe that from the Libertarian Mathematics, you’ve had your mind rotted”. Now, this does leave an opening for a reply “Nyah, nyah, you didn’t go over every line of that proof and find the error, you have to do that, or you’re close-minded”. But someone could do more good at times by pointing out that there are people walking around spouting the political equivalent of “1=2” than getting into an involved discussion about part x of step y. This is where Libertarianism Makes You Stupid, the grip of subtly flawed logic can overwhelm everything else.
Your boy domer was a master at the “nyah, nyah, you didn’t go over every line of that proof” school of argument. At the end of the day, he was still a fringe weirdo who would get laughed out of climate scientists. I’m old, I’m just done with engaging in clever 1=2 debates with sophist ghouls.

ikestoys was great at “debating.” He would also leap to the defense of George Zimmerman and Brock Turner. Sometimes you just have to understand that 1 doesn’t equal 2.

Arguing about voting, purity, and RIP John Lewis

I once saw someone say that if all concentration camps were of equal size and “effectiveness”, and Candidate A would build 10 camps while Candidate B would build 9, obviously you should vote for Candidate B.

This is a hypothetical so extremely simplified as to completely miss anyone’s point, and possibly be harmful, and yet still it is several levels above the vast majority of the General Election discourse on this forum.

One reason it misses the mark is that nothing is of equal scale or effectiveness. For example, the 9-camp administration could obviously be much more competent. The 9-camp administration could naturally encounter far less resistance from courts, legislatures, journalists, and even protestors.

If there was an ever-growing, organic, street-level resistance movement under the 10-camp administration, someone tasked solely with the goal of designing a way to fracture and dissolve that movement might very well say the best way to do so is have the 9-camp administration come into power so that the movement fights with itself over whether to go hard against the new administration or even fights over whether to challenge it at all.

Obviously it is possible for all this (and much more; there’s infinite other things to consider) to be weighed calmly and rationally and still come to the conclusion that the least amount of harm comes from electing the 9-camp administration. But I don’t think that’s what ANYONE is doing. They have started with the conclusion that feels comfortable, and they will get extremely angry when that conclusion is challenged. Not that anyone on this forum, or the internet in general, with fleetingly few exceptions, is doing anything close to a good job at laying out the counter arguments.

Still, whenever anyone uses the word “purity” I have to laugh to keep from crying. Nobody, not one flesh and blood human, nobody but the strawmen, is saying, “well there are some areas the candidate and I don’t agree.” They’re saying the candidate does active harm, and promises to do even more active harm! They’re saying the total amount of harm between the candidates is either similar or too impossible to prognosticate between.

It kills me that people have reduced this to, “well obviously the only possibility is that people are being vindictive about the primaries, and are willing to harm others to make a point.” Everyone I know that I’ve ever talked to about their decision(s) to abstain from voting or to write in a candidate is someone from a group or groups who are right at the very front of the line for receiving both direct and indirect violence from the state.

But of course all of this discussion is such a monumental waste of time as far as the election itself goes, given how close to zero your individual vote is to make an impact on whether we get Candidate A or Candidate B. The discussion is useful, however, if people are willing to listen (and to speak) with open minds and open hearts and realize exactly how the foundational depths of state depravity can make an extremely politically educated (and extremely oppressed) person choose not to participate in an illegitimate election. Like if we could just get to that point where some of you could say, “OK, I think I understand their position now.” Even if you follow that up with, “but I still think it’s best to vote for this candidate, and that’s what I’ll do,” it would be a monumental shift in your understanding of the state and its power structure and its history that I think would only do good things going forward.

I’m not sure how we get to that point. Contrary to a lot of people’s beliefs, this kind of forum debating isn’t the most conducive way to learn these things. It would have to look more like study groups, I think, where we start off not even arguing. Because right now we have a situation where someone says one paragraph they’ve formulated from 100 books read and 10 years of street-level organizing experience and talking to people who live on the streets, and 12 people come back instantly with very emotional stances on why that paragraph was all wrong.

Democratic Primaries 2020 - With a whimper

Democratic Primaries 2020 - With a whimper

When you are a dick to someone, they are less likely to join your side. That’s why you have to post that meme over and over again. To deflect from the fact that your bullshit turns people away.

That’s literally the first time I’ve ever posted that meme.

That’s why I performatively typed “where’s the fucking macro” as I needed to actually go and find it.

I understand if that part was opaque but it doesn’t change the fact that you just made some shit up.

I also never posted a snake emoji but I did post this:

image1162×161 35.4 KB

That and a number of other posts have been my ace in the hole that’s made me well aware that you people have had no desire to have a real conversation with a real person, rather, you just want to vent at a makeshift avatar of equal parts real things and strawmen.

But it’s never too late!

And, like, I get it. Most of you Lads had Liz-1 and Bernie-2 and now neither of them made it. It was so close; after looking like it’d be a Liz v Bernie contest everything went sideways in a matter of weeks. Then a fucking pandemic happened. Calling it frustrating and disappointing doesn’t really do it justice. Being alive can be unbearable and inside all of us is a deep well of pain and sadness.

Fuck, wasn’t planning on ending a post like that but there it is.

The Presidency of Donald J. Trump: Unconstitutional Slop

Not to disrespect George Orwell, but the man laid it on pretty thick in 1984. It’s not in any way subtle. Like, teenagers can and do read 1984 and understand what he was getting at with doublespeak and the Ministry of Truth and whatnot. It’s a great and prescient book on many levels, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also not hard to understand.

A thing that broke me after 9/11 was just how blatant and stupid the fascism was. They weren’t even trying. They actually fucking called it “The Patriot Act” when they created a bill to enhance police state surveillance. The Patriot Act. Like, Orwell would have blushed at that, it’s too stupid and on the nose for 1984. Teenagers reading 1984 would have rolled their eyes if he’d written about a Patriot Act that expanded domestic surveillance. America is dumber than your average 1984-reading teenager, that’s where we’re at now.

https://twitter.com/thejuicemedia/status/1288989754210557960

The Presidency of Donald J. Trump: Unconstitutional Slop

I say this with a genuine combination of love and seriousness, because I deeply appreciate all of the fantastic people on UP.

There are a lot of smart people on this forum, and smart people (especially poker players, maybe) are unusually adept at looking for and finding threats in the world around us. That said, I think we need to be careful about becoming an echo chamber for acute depressive thoughts in response to each of Trump’s new weekly horrors.

The dude is a monster, surrounded by monsters, and enabled by monsters. I’m scared too, and my family is in the process of updating our passports. But none of us UPers are made safer by driving each other toward despondent helplessness, and the game isn’t over yet.

Worst case scenario, we can all pile in a solar-powered bus caravan and get some breathless coverage from Tucker Carlson before we bluff our way (right? who else could do it better?) across the Canadian border.

Stay strong, team. We’re in this together.

The Presidency of Donald J. Trump: Unconstitutional Slop

(my pony got stuck watching an ad that it couldn’t skip)

From IRL discussions that I’ve had with people on the right(everything from RWNJs<---->bog standard conservatives) I have discovered an essential part of the desire to share their views via youtube.

It’s important to understand that all people make decisions and come to conclusions based upon emotion, the logical justifications are tacked on post hoc.

They watched a youtube that made them feel smart because the person in the video confidently delivered non-rebutted points that confirmed their “gut” instincts. It is not the concepts or arguments contained within the videos, it is the feeling that they had while watching the video that they are trying to share with you.

The video didn’t steelman their opponents’ arguments or critically examine the positive claims that were being made. So, when they are confronted with disagreement, they feel disoriented because the video that made them feel good about their beliefs didn’t convince them of those beliefs; it only reinforced what they already felt.

https://mobile.twitter.com/DBF_NYC/status/1298099551820230660

Police Murder George Floyd Then Riot Nationwide (Links to Streams in OP)

Police Murder George Floyd Then Riot Nationwide (Links to Streams in OP)

The Democratic party is a powerful force in keeping minorities oppressed also. They pay nothing more than lip service to inequality in order to dupe liberals into thinking words mean more than actionable policies.

I take a Chomsky-type view that the Democratic party are the center-right faction(GOP is the far right faction) of the Capitalist party that has essentially had one-party rule of American government. So, I agree that the Dem party tends to be a lot of talk, little action, and have a lead from behind mentality. I’ll reserve judgement for individuals on a case by case basis, valuing action over rhetoric. Which leads us to your next question…

Police Murder George Floyd Then Riot Nationwide (Links to Streams in OP)

Do you really know what their perception is? I don’t know anyone in a militia, but always thought they were primarily anti-governmental authority abuse.

None of us can peer into the minds or hearts of militia members. We can observe their actions though. They can scream from the mountain tops that they hate abuse of governmental authority. They can arm themselves and cosplay ubermench in the woods all day, every day.

In real life, right now, the police are abusing their authority. People(Black, Latinx, white, LGBTQ, men, women, etc.) are protesting that abuse. The police are responding by doubling down on the abuse while committing war crimes on and beating the protesters.

If a militia member was truly against abuse of authority they’d stand in solidarity with the protesters. Instead, we see militia members getting fist bumps and shout outs from the cops. Guess what…they were full of shit. Their words meant nothing. I will judge them the same way I judge the Dem politicians: actions over rhetoric.

Police Murder George Floyd Then Riot Nationwide (Links to Streams in OP)

First must come the solidarity. That means finding and tackling the issues we align on and not get hung up on what we don’t. As I said earlier, Black people being at much higher risk during a police encounter is absolutely a result of systemic racism. But the actual problem at hand here are the out of control POLICE! Why not address one issue at a time so as not to get divided and bogged down, which is exactly what the establishment counts on?

I’m just throwing spitballs. I don’t see how we ever unite when everyone plays right into the hands of the elites by keeping us busy engaged in culture wars

You and I are aware enough to know that politicians who are in the back pockets of the billionaires will never lead us out of the Status Quo Desert of Injustice. Change for the better comes from direct action and grass roots movements.

I don’t mean to have this come off as attacking you. However, even when I charitably read what you wrote, I see it as (uninformed?)criticism of activists who are doing their level best to use the limited resources that they have to bring change to their communities. You and I do not get to tell the people doing the work what order they should address problems in. What authority do you or I have? What expertise do we possess? What track record of success can we point to and say, “You activists should do things the way I feel is best.”?

Those that seek to divide us will always find a wedge to use as culture war fodder. The antidote is solidarity. It’s free to give and impossible to run out of. When I see people struggling for dignity, I don’t debate whether they should be trying to combat police brutality or systemic racism first or second. My solidarity is unconditional.

Danspartan · August 29, 2020, 10:32am

This one is pretty damn funny. I don’t think he lasted a day.

cuse

anon38180840 · August 29, 2020, 10:42am

Two days. Then the Beirut explosion happened.

BestOf · September 25, 2020, 4:34pm

Alright gang, let’s take a look at some of the finest posts of the past 4 weeks:

The Pozzidency of Donald J. Trump: Typhoid Donnie's Slow Hypoxic Demise **Sweat Thread** (updated 100x/minute)

Abortion isn’t their sole issue. It’s their moral escape hatch when confronted about their horrible political views. Their true motivation is racism, bigotry, and other deplorable views. It’s why the anti-abortion crowd keeps finding the worst racist pieces of shit in society to put into office despite having the numbers to determine the outcome of any republican primary. But when they’re confronted about voting for a horrible person, rather than giving an honest answer they can fallback on abortion. It also allows them to believe they have the moral high ground, because without the abortion issue they’d have to confront the reality that the rest of their views are awful.

POTUS BOWL 2020: A MEME IS A WISH YOUR <3 MAKES

To me as a progressive the way I see it is

Trump wins. GG democracy. I have yet to see an even remotely convincing argument from the don’t vote types on why this isn’t true, just lol thats fake news level bullshit. I won’t waste time on why its GG democracy because that has been spelled out clearly.

Yes a lot of the arguments are true that voting for the lesser of two evils has fucked us, the establishment has fucked us and continues to fuck us, but the most important thing that shockingly hasn’t been brought up is…

Demographics, they are a changing. There is only one route for progressives to win in this country. It’s for Biden to win, us to hold onto democracy a little longer, and wait for demographics to change and millennial to become the major voting block. This is literally the only path. Yes the establishment is too strong and it fucking sucked they fucked Bernie and all of us because they’re straight up evil

I was on the fence on whether to vote Biden or not for awhile after Bernie lost, but this became pretty clear to me. Maybe its because I’m younger, and I see how much more progressive my age group is first hand, and maybe if you’re a older progressive this option sucks because you won’t live to see it, but do the younger generation a solid and help us fucking get there.

If Trump wins 0 chance of progressive change in mine or anyone heres lifetime.

If Biden wins I think its inevitable. I mean look at the progress we’ve made in the last two elections, of course the old ghouls are going to fight us tooth and nail and we will lose battles but time is on our side.

POTUS BOWL 2020: A MEME IS A WISH YOUR <3 MAKES

POTUS BOWL 2020: A MEME IS A WISH YOUR <3 MAKES

POTUS BOWL 2020: A MEME IS A WISH YOUR <3 MAKES

wait for demographics to change and millennial to become the major voting block

What % of millennials do you estimate will still be voting blue by the time they’re the majority?

Some here might consider me moderate. 2018 was my first party line vote. I will never vote for anyone in the GOP right now as long as I live. They towed the line for this, so they are dead to me. I have friends right of me on the political spectrum who say the same thing.

POTUS BOWL 2020: A MEME IS A WISH YOUR <3 MAKES

We ain’t getting ours. Even the ones who do see what it’s done to their friends and it disgusts them

Yep. I’m sort of getting mine, but I’m about to risk my health to keep it because not having it is a threat to my health too.

I have friends who have been forced to leave this country by the policies of this administration. Friends who, by the way, are more idealistic about the good of America then most Americans despite being progressive. But they have scary last names and brown skin, so they don’t get the opportunities they want. This enrages me. I will never vote for anyone who supported the party and the man who took that from them. No tax cut, no amount of money, no policy can rival the desire I have to see them handed their pink slips by voters.

I have friends being forced back to work or working in less safe jobs because of the pandemic. My best friend’s wife is like 8 weeks backlogged on receiving her unemployment benefits. She’s a teacher, she’s terrified to teach in person. I gave her some KN-95s yesterday. I will never vote for anyone who supported the party and man who wanted to send her back and put that worry and anguish on her and my friend.

I have a friend who lost his net worth paying his dying mother’s medical bills because insurance wouldn’t cover the treatment that might save her. Then he lost his business from the pandemic, and his side hustle. So he drove Uber, caught covid, and 4-5 months later he still has symptoms. I will never vote for anyone who supported the party that allowed all that to happen to people in the richest country on this planet.

My 71 year old dad is bowling weekly in his league. 50 people, most not wearing masks, he took his off. A couple weeks ago he was mocking anti-mask people. Now he thinks he’s safe, and keeps denying that if he gets it my 72 year old mom will too. I will never forgive the monsters pushing bullshit that made him feel safe to do that, whether he gets lucky and avoids it or not.

The GOP is dead to me. There is nothing they can do to ever get my vote.

ACAB (formerly G Floyd) - Tyre Nichols video released, it's bad

I can just imagine a bunch of enlightened unstuckers crowing about how slavery abolitionists haven’t even come up with a plan for how plantation owners are supposed to make money if we get rid of slavery. Some people are saying they’re fine with indentured servants, some people aren’t - you can’t even agree on what you mean by abolish slavery! And we’re still waiting on an example of large scale cotton and tobacco production that DOESN’T rely on slaves.

That’s not even getting into the practicalities - black people don’t exactly have the highest approval ratings, and meanwhile like 50% of our presidents have been southern white men.

Why don’t we focus on laws that prohibit certain TYPES of lashings, and maybe make a publicly accessible record of the abusive slaveowners. We can hire some people to travel from plantation to plantation and give sensitivity training. Maybe require some type of two year degree before being eligible to bid at slave auctions. You know, something that has a realistic shot of becoming law. If we’re really lucky, in 10 years we can pass a law mandating that a minimum of 15% of slaveowners are women or POC.

https://unstuckpolitics.com/t/moderation/942/2446
This post was flagged so it can’t be quoted or posted here, clicky click.

The Pozzidency of Donald J. Trump: Typhoid Donnie's Slow Hypoxic Demise **Sweat Thread** (updated 100x/minute)

Stolen from a friend-for those of us continually struggling to figure out how Trump could still have a solid 42% support despite 200,000 Covid19 deaths and the most corrupt and inept administration in our nations history, this explanation is as good as any:

“To answer the question-- Why do people continue supporting Trump no matter what he does?

A lady named Bev answered it this way:

“You all don’t get it. I live in Trump country, in the Ozarks in southern Missouri, one of the last places where the KKK still has a relatively strong established presence. They don’t give a shit what he does. He’s just something to rally around and hate liberals, that’s it, period. He absolutely realizes that and plays it up. They love it. He knows they love it. The fact that people act like it’s anything other than that proves to them that liberals are idiots, all the more reason for high fives all around.

"If you keep getting caught up in “why do they not realize this problem” and “how can they still back Trump after this scandal,” then you do not understand what the underlying motivating factor of his support is. It’s fuck liberals, that’s pretty much it.

"Have you noticed he can do pretty much anything imaginable, and they’ll explain some way that rationalizes it that makes zero logical sense? Because they’re not even keeping track of any coherent narrative, it’s irrelevant. Fuck liberals is the only relevant thing. Trust me; I know firsthand what I’m talking about.

"That’s why they just laugh at it all because you all don’t even realize they truly don’t give a fuck about whatever the conversation is about. It’s just a side mission story that doesn’t matter anyway. That’s all just trivial details - the economy, health care, whatever.

"Fuck liberals.

"Look at the issue with not wearing the masks. I can tell you what that’s about. It’s about exposing fear. They’re playing chicken with nature, and whoever flinches just moved down their internal pecking order, one step closer to being a liberal.

"You’ve got to understand the one core value that they hold above all others is hatred for what they consider weakness because that’s what they believe strength is, hatred of weakness. And I mean passionate, sadistic hatred. And I’m not exaggerating. Believe me. Sadistic, passionate hatred, and that’s what proves they’re strong, their passionate hatred for weakness. Sometimes they will lump vulnerability in with weakness. They do that because people tend to start humbling themselves when they’re in some compromising or overwhelming circumstance, and to them, that’s an obvious sign of weakness.

"Kindness = weakness. Honesty = weakness. Compromise = weakness.

"They consider their very existence to be superior in every way to anyone who doesn’t hate weakness as much as they do. They consider liberals to be weak people that are inferior, almost a different species, and the fact that liberals are so weak is why they have to unite in large numbers, which they find disgusting, but it’s that disgust that is a true expression of their natural superiority.

"Go ahead and try to have a logical, rational conversation with them. Just keep in mind what I said here and be forewarned.”

I’m going to re-read this every time I get frustrated with Rs blatant hypocrisy. Bev nailed it.

The Pozzidency of Donald J. Trump: Typhoid Donnie's Slow Hypoxic Demise **Sweat Thread** (updated 100x/minute)

The reason why we get hit with the Lol lawbros schtick isn’t because the courts don’t rule against Trump. They do. A lot. The problem is that, even when they do, the rulings come down so late and the enforcement mechanisms behind them are so weak, that significant damage has been done and cannot be undone by the ruling.

How many changes did Trump get to make to the Muslim ban before he finally found a version that passed muster? Did anyone in his administration suffer significant consequences for drafting the unconstitutional versions or were they basically on a freeroll?

Are hundreds of sorting machines going to be reinstalled before the election? Are people going to be compensated for the consequences of late checks, medicine, and food?

Has Congress or the NYAG gotten the Trump tax returns yet? Did I miss some Congressional testimony from Don McGahn?

I get the inclination to point to rulings as signs that the rule of law is still working, but, at some point it’s also necessary to look beyond the formalism and realize that, even when the rulings are going against him, the resolution is so slow, and this administration is so brazen, that a couple of bench slaps aren’t actually preventing or repairing the harm.

Donations

Donations

Missing posters

Do you accept Skyline Chili gift certificates?

The most recent donation has been received. Thanks?

image612×672 188 KB

I will of course provide a trip report of my consuming this chili, but I’m not sure when that’s going to be.

Unstuckers get restless and demand a conclusion to this saga.

Donations

I want to know if you’ve eaten the chili or not.

I attempt to put them off by making a Trump-like claim of “just a few weeks”.

Donations

I still have not used the skyline chili gift card, although I will probably be doing so this month

Month’s almost up, spidercrab. When is this going to happen?

Answer

Am I worried? A little. After all, fellow Ohio resident Trolly tried to warn me:

Donations

Don’t eat the Skyline, man. It’s a trap.

But as the card says,

Today was the day I entered Skyline Chili, and Skyline Chili entered me.

For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure, here’s the menu:

image1129×774 588 KB

image1137×766 527 KB

I had $25 to burn and since I haven’t yet reached suicide-levels of self hatred, I planned to stretch it out over a couple of visits. Today I went with two items:

image881×402 179 KB

image843×334 119 KB

Back at home:

image691×572 221 KB

The unveiling:

Cheese Coney

image632×898 248 KB

And?

The verdict

This was not bad! The mustard and onions added a nice flavor to the chili cheese dog, and the steamed bun ensured that neither the hot dog nor the chili were too overpowering.

This was a relatively small item (only 350 calories per the menu), and it makes for a good snack. Would buy again.

Next up, the Coney Bowl. The unveiling:

Coney Bowl

image693×821 267 KB

Oh no. Let’s mix it up and hope it looks better.

Coney Bowl, attempt 2

image698×898 376 KB

Better I guess? Not really. This does not bode well.

And the taste?

The Verdict

There’s no other way to say this - it was really gross. Hot dogs, on their own, are not great. This chili, on its own, is very bad. The congealed cheese was the MVP of the dish, but I can’t emphasize enough how low that bar was. The combination was a trifecta from hell.

I would never purchase this item again. I ate it more than 7 hours ago, didn’t eat anything for dinner, and I still feel this clump of garbage in my stomach. Trying to address the distress with a drink:

image675×607 178 KB

But it’s not really helping. I suspect I’m going to be cursing @NhlNut over the next 12 hours.

In any event,

image569×924 325 KB

The good news is that I’ve still got $15 of the original $25 left. Can’t wait for part 2.

Neither can we, spidercrab. Neither can we.

Trolly · September 25, 2020, 4:41pm

Is there an address where we can send spidercrab a gift card for food that isn’t terrible?

WichitaDM · September 25, 2020, 4:44pm

Donations thread is way more amazing that I thought I guess.

CanadaMatt3004 · September 25, 2020, 4:53pm

Better yet, is there a place we can send gift cards for food that is much much worse?

Riverman · September 25, 2020, 5:27pm

The calorie counts on that Skyline menu are the most preposterous lies I’ve ever seen in print.

RiskyFlush · September 25, 2020, 5:29pm

I would pay to fund @Riverman on an Anthony Bourdain style travel show where he experiences the distinct cuisine found only in specific parts of the world, except he only visits Trump-branded properties.

Trolly · September 25, 2020, 5:35pm

Remember the Trump martini?

Trump Grill Could Be the Worst Restaurant in America

Riverman · September 25, 2020, 5:37pm

This would be the reverse of Bourdain’s “see guys, people that look and talk different can be awesome” theme. More like “yep, they all look the same and they’re all irredeemable.”

I’ve spent so much time in rural Ohio. It is (much) worse than you city slickers could ever imagine.

RiskyFlush · September 25, 2020, 5:53pm

It would be an instant hit in the post-Trump landscape. Every episode is one trainwreck after another. The most shocking episodes are the ones where the food isn’t completely terrible.

Imagine Kitchen Nightmares, but it’s only the first part of the episode where he sends back everything on the menu for being absolutely disgusting.

spidercrab · September 25, 2020, 6:22pm

I want to make something clear, in case it’s ambiguous:

I do not personally benefit from receiving non-cash donations. So far, I’ve received an Amazon gift credit and a Skyline Chili gift card. In both cases, I deposited an equal amount of my own cash into the unstuck paypal account.

So the transfer looks like this:

[ UPer ] ----non-cash donation—> [ spidercrab ] — cash donation in equal amount—> [ paypal ]

No one is actually giving me money. (And I don’t need any money.) It’s just a more interesting/convoluted/stomach-damaging way to contribute to UP.

hokie · September 25, 2020, 6:38pm

[ UPer ] ----non-cash donation—> [ spidercrab ] — cash donation in equal amount—> [ paypal ] —> [bankwire] —> [ATM] —> TITT1ES

DrChesspain · September 25, 2020, 6:43pm

This is the saddest money laundering scheme ever.