Best of Unstuck

BestOf · December 20, 2019, 8:14pm

Another fortnight gone, time for another Best of Unstuck update.

Our first multiple posts nomination

Fall LC thread

Maybe, but if your theoretical is only theoretical, is it really the model of mental health? I have yet to meet a person who is both sophisticated and impervious to the perception of others. We can perhaps wax poetic about how great it would be to be so, but I am unconvinced it is attainable. I would argue instead that mindfulness, along the lines of "I am aware of my feelings of feeling judged, and those feelings are negative. There are things I could have done better (x, y, and z), but on balance, I have achieved well, notably (a, b, and c). "

Fall LC thread

Re the pyramid, I think anything ordered around “needs” is essentially bullshit, because humans create more “needs” whenever their current ones are satisfied; “needs” are inherently an egotistical way of approaching one’s place in the world. A less egotistical way is approaching the world in terms of ways of interacting with it, there are any number of ways you can break that down, but one I like is Emily Esfahani Smith’s “Four Pillars of Meaning”:

Smith organizes her research into four pillars of meaning:

1) A Sense of Belonging , meaning relationships “where you really feel like you matter to others and are valued by them, and where you in turn treat others like they matter and are valued.”

2) Purpose , or “having something worthwhile to do with your time,” says Smith. “It’s this pursuit that organizes your life and involves making a contribution to others.” Smith writes and speaks about the best ways we can find purpose in our own lives. This includes locating our strengths and talents, what our unique perspective on the world is, and bringing that all together to give back.

3) Transcendence , “those moments where you’re basically lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life and you feel your sense of self fade away.” Transcendence, for a lot of people, is part of a religious pursuit, experienced through meditation, prayer, and other expressions of faith. But you can also experience it in nature, or at work, explains Smith.

4) Storytelling , the final pillar “surprised me in a lot of ways,” Smith says. “Storytelling is really about the story that you tell yourself about your life, about how you became you. It’s your personal myth.”

Note that, aside from perhaps the fourth one, these are not “what do I need to extract from the world” but rather “what are the modes in which I need to interact with the world”. Ideally you want something to put in all the columns here, but you need at least one to keep you going.

Fall LC thread

One of the breakthroughs I had in the treatment of my depression was realizing that we aren’t supposed to be happy and most of the things I thought I needed/desired (which in turn drove my feelings of failure/worthlessness that were central to my depression) were created by the external world, they didn’t originate as part of some actual need or desire, rather they were there because that’s what the world I grew up in and interacted with told me I need/desire. Seems silly/obvious in retrospect, but it was a big deal for me at the time.

original post

And finally, the most liked posts since the last update.