Categories here
Ok fuck it. I’ll post the categories. BUT DON’T SEND PMS TO ME until we have a randomizer. I don’t want to know who you are. I’ll just delete any w/o looking at them if I see it.
As far as what I like - like I said, I’m pretty all over the map as long as it moves my butt around in my chair. To throw out some examples - NWA, Buena Vista Social Club, Linda Ronstadt, dinosaur rock, late 60s/early 70s soul, Yacht Rock, Billy Idol, classical, Mother Love Bone, Juice Newton, Silversun Pickups, Drive By Truckers, EDM - progressive/trance/chill but open to others - bonus for ethereal trance diva. Pretty much everything except bluegrass and young country is in play. And I’m open to Bluegrass.
On a more abstract level I like songs and artists that are earnest, and take themselves seriously. Think Interpol over Blink 182. I hate hate hate post-ironic peppy.
Steven Malkmus is the opposite of what I like. I respect him and Pavement, I just don’t like to listen to most of their songs. It’s like scotch - I respect it, but I don’t like to drink it. But the genre of whiny mealy-mouth bedwetter post-ironic crap bands Pavement inspired are the WOAT. Even worse than the previous generations of bedwetter bands the Cure and Smiths (whom I both love) inspired.
Unique songs I haven’t heard are great. But I don’t want to offer bonus pts for them because I don’t want players reaching for a bunch of random oddball crap. The song should be the strongest for the category, regardless of airplay.
Unless otherwise noted, all songs will be rated 1/2 category fit and 1/2 how much I like it - aka butt moving. Scoring will be as normal with each category ranked and given a point total for each player. As always - any appearance of Captain Beefheart will result in automatic last place for that category, and may god have mercy on your soul.
#1 - Fruitrock
This can be any song that has fruit in the name, is about fruit, or the band has fruit in the name. However I should warn you - the millions of peaches song will get 10 for category fit, but about 3.5 on likability. There’s your GTO play.
#2 - Good song by a band/artist that kinda sucks
Category fit on this one will be how much I think they actually suck. The gold standard on this for me is Coldplay - Talk. Love the song, hate the band.
#3 - Jalfrezi Thinks - pick a song that I like and Jalfrezi hates
@Jalfrezi and I have worked this out. The scoring will be the difference between the rankings of how much I like the song vs. how much he hates it - both on a scale of 1-100, No category fit on this one.
So if I give a song a 90 and Jalfrezi gives it a 25 - you get 65 points. If jalfrezi scores a song higher than I do, you get a negative score. All scores will feed into the standard ranking procedure for the category. Ties will be broken by the songs jalfrezi hates more. If still tied I will pick the winner after I consult the Oracle at Delphi.
For those not familiar with walrus - jalfrezi tends toward Captain Beefheart and other musical hipster stuff that I freely admit is deeper and has more staying power than the crap I like. Oh yeah - Sting is off limits as many know jalfrezi’s stance on that artist.
#4 - Departure from a band/artist’s normal style
I think this one mostly speaks for itself. Category fit will be how much I think it departs. The rest will be my butt moving around in the chair. Smart play with me might be to pick a band that has one super-rocking song. Or that might backfire.
#5 - Song in a language that is primarily not English or Spanish
I want a fun song that will make me want to boogie or cry even though I have no idea what the lyrics are saying. The more exotic the language, the higher the category fit. And no angle shooting with instrumental songs. Must have singing. A few English or Spanish words scattered in will not ding the category fit.
#6 - Song that will make me cry or give me goosebumps
I like sentimental drippy like Ooh Ooh Child (things are gonna get easier), or just sad sounding music I don’t understand - like Chan Chan on Buena Vista Social Club. Could be a very sad opera piece. Easter Egg: I have one song in mind that does both - it’s from my youth and involves a barnyard animal.
#7 - Anthem that rocks your dick in the dirt
What is an anthem? It can start slow, or it can start fast, but at some point it better grab me by the balls and not let go. The cheesier and blowsier the better. Since I already mentioned them, Mother Love Bone - Chloe Dancer (aka Crown of Thorns) is the gold standard here. Can be any genre from 70s to now (maybe 60s but i can’t think of any offhand).
Pro tip: anthems tend to be in the 5+ minute range. They generally have some kind of important message to convey, which they emphasize through grindy face-melting instrumentals. It’s like that one song by a band that might not have been their biggest hit, but gets the biggest play on K-ROCK, on jukeboxes, and in your loser stoner brother’s black-light-illuminated bedroom.
