Bird Shit? Paintball Hate Crime? Let’s Investigate.

Sundry Chitchat
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I guess this goes best here. Does anyone recall any incidents of racially motivated vandalism or hate crimes involving paintballs? I’ve found a couple, including one that seems the same that they were unable to charge as involving racial bias but the victim was adamant that’s what it was and had been previously targeted by vandalism including slurs.

I ask because my house was shot with paintballs,

[edit: photos and location information removed]

Anyone disagree that it’s paintballs? Any chance it’s just bird shit seems to go out the window with the shape above the house numbers. Assuming it’s paintballs, it seems like you’d have to be standing pretty fucking close and doing it on purpose to get that shape like that, right?

Really curious what people think and what they’d do in this situation? I have several ideas but I don’t want to influence people’s thinking/reactions.

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I’m not sure those are paintballs. I think I paintballs explode more uniformly, and drip below where they hit the surface.

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Hmm… Could birds possibly shit in a tight upside down V like that, though? That seems like astronomically unlikely.

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No, and I haven’t like poked at it or tried to wipe it off yet. Not sure what I’d be looking for? I’ve never used a paintball gun.

I guess my main thing is if it’s not paintballs, what then? The pattern over the house number seems like it can’t make it an act of nature like bird shit, right?

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+1 to not paintballs.

Not sure what it could be though.

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What if it is super intelligent racist birds?

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Also given the number of separate circles, we’re talking about like 15-20 birds taking absolutely perfectly timed shits?

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This is from a news report on paintball vandalism:

80f1de59-6dab-4092-aa2c-20da9c4e9431_1140x641
80f1de59-6dab-4092-aa2c-20da9c4e9431_1140x6411140×641 54.3 KB

Not a lot of splatter/dripping. Also if you zoom into my pictures there’s a tiny bit of splatter. Especially on the stone.

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Isn’t bird shit white with black yolk?

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Usually, although I’ve seen it reddish or purplish before on rare occasions. Almost always with some white though.

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I mean if this is bird shit, then either 15-20 birds shitted simultaneously while flying overhead or a few birds with major intestinal issues made repeat runs targeting the same spot and have significantly better accuracy than Russian military technology.

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+1 not paintballs. I used to go weekly as a teenager, the splatter pattern seems way off.

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I live next to a small lake with ample goose and duck traffic. I can confirm that the range of potential bird shit events is much wider than you might expect.

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My dad believes it to be bird shit, he thinks it was one large bird flying left to right and that the pattern being a downward line indicates that the splatter to the right side had longer to fall.

Google says an avian intestinal infection can cause that color. So, it appears the two most likely outcomes are:

  1. A massive diseased bird with incredible aim shitted all over my house. RIP me, nice knowing you all, at least I wear N95’s and won’t spread the new bird flu to anybody.

  2. Racists with unique low splatter paintballs.

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Seems like creating the upside down v intentionally with a paintball would be close to impossible?

Maybe except for Trump and Kim , with thier hole in one skillz ,that kinda of accuracy is possible i gguess.

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Someone pushed the “empty lavatory” button on a plane flying by ldo

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Wouldn’t the splatter be more down and to the right if it was from above? (In the picture it seems up and to the right or just horizontal.) But that seems like a good guess by your dad.

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Definitely not paintballs

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Fuck, that’s a great point. Really good catch.

So it’s close to impossible for it to be bird shit, right?

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I think bird shit makes the most sense unless it could be something thrown from a piece of equipment from the neighbors yard. Could it be mud thrown from a mower or did they have work people there before the splatter?

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