Chairman: I yield to ranking member Nunes.
Nunes: Ms. Yovanovitch, may I call you ‘Masha’? You know like that mole in the TV show The Blacklist about a cabal running a shadow government?
Yovanovitch: wtf, you moron.
Nunes: When Ambassador Taylor was on the phone with Ambassador Sondland was Sondland on an iPhone or an Android?
Yovanovitch: I don’t know.
Nunes: What about Ambassador Taylor, was he on an iPhone (holds his iPhone up to the camera and puts his hand under the logo like a Price is Right model) or an Android?
Yovanovitch: I don’t know.
Nunes: A ha, she doesn’t know whether he was using an iPhone (holds up phone again)!
Yovanovitch: …
Nunes: (turns and laughs with colleagues who all hi-five each other accidentally revealing they’ve all been chatting on WhatsApp on their iPhones) I yield the rest of my time to Mr. Jordan.
Jordan: The Democrats have a vast conspiracy to SMEAR the iPhone. I use it to read wikileaks and communicate with Assange all the time. Do you think anyone knows about tha–WITHDRAWN. I yield back.
Chairman: I’d like to advise the witness that just because the minority members are saying something is true does not make it so.
Meadows: Point of Order Mr. Chairman.
Chairman: Mr. Meadows is recognized for the Point of Order.
Meadows: Who are you to judge about who’s lying about whether people were using an iPHONE? (holds up iPhone making sure everyone can see the logo)
Chairman: Overruled, the gentleman will suspend. We are here to do a job today, and it’s important that we respect the wit–
Jordan: Mr. Chairman are you seriously SMEARING Steve Jobs, the creator of the iPhone (holds it up for the camera pointing angrily at the logo)?
Chairman: The gentleman will suspend. I would tell you to ignore them, Ms. Yovanovitch, but you obviously can’t do that.
Yovanovitch: No shit.