https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1275951862269829121
( twitter | raw text )
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Someone, 50 years in the future, is going to assemble all the seemingly senseless uses of quotation marks in Trump’s million tweets and discover, like in Contact, they can be assembled to form a blueprint to a machine. However, instead of taking us to deep space, it will transport us all straight to hell.
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hey! do you live in maine? do you enjoy fishing and/or “lobstering”? well joe biden is like the best, for you folks. just the best there’s ever been. and with him as president, you’ll be making more money than you possibly could with trump and his tiny penis running things.
paid for and approved by joe biden, a man with an above-average-size penis.
[and then end the commercial with joe’s face superimposed over marky mark’s face in that scene in boogie nights where he whips it out]
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and then people will think, “wow, this is a stark contrast with trump, he’s the opposite in every way. he barely bragged about the size, he just said above average”. it’ll really be an effective commercial, i think.
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My mother loved the study aspect but loathed the profession.
She quit after a few years and ended up finding a niche as a legal editor.
I’m a star. I’m a star I’m a star I’m a star. I’m a big, bright, shining star.
I like it.
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I LEARNED IT FROM YOU
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The end of civilization as we know it
Really fishing for that one winnable electoral vote from Maine.
…is turning into an Oompa Loompa?
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Trump’s aspiration to rank among the world’s strongmen has always been hindered by his own weaknesses of character—laziness, ignorance, lack of self-control—and the ineptitude of his henchmen. For a year, Barr seemed to be the most competent of them. Spinning the Mueller report as an exoneration of Trump with some success was a masterpiece of propaganda disguised as legal reasoning. But in the past two months, Barr has made mistake after mistake. His meddling in the Stone and Flynn cases was clumsy and transparently political. His role as secret police chief in Lafayette Square was a public-relations disaster that forced even him to make excuses. And when it came to getting rid of the U.S. attorney in Manhattan, Barr mismanaged the job so badly that he’s ended up with a replacement who, from his point of view, might be even worse.
In early 2017, Trump fired Preet Bharara, the longtime U.S. attorney in Manhattan. Berman, a former prosecutor and Republican donor to Trump’s 2016 campaign, was later named to the job on an interim basis by Sessions. But Berman’s nomination was never submitted to the Senate, in keeping with the Trump administration’s deep aversion to the exposure and independence that come with Senate confirmation. Instead, the appointment was made indefinite by order of the district court in Manhattan. Whether or not Trump thought he was hiring a loyalist (he always seems to think so), Berman turned out to be an apolitical prosecutor. He went after Michael Cohen in the Stormy Daniels hush-money scheme, and then, even more perilous for the president, he apparently opened an investigation into Rudy Giuliani’s activities on Trump’s behalf in Ukraine.
A long line of FBI officials, inspectors general, intelligence-community members, federal prosecutors, and National Security Council staffers can testify that Trump relishes the appearance of political meddling in legitimate investigations and will end the career of officials he regards as disloyal. Perhaps Trump wanted to get rid of Berman before the Southern District could issue subpoenas, or even announce charges against Giuliani, in the period leading up to November 3. If so, any U.S. attorney who succeeds him is unlikely to be able to destroy every trace of an ongoing investigation with career federal prosecutors looking on. Perhaps Trump was just fed up with Berman for not being loyal, and demanded his head. Trump always has more impulses than strategies.
Last Friday night, Barr claimed, falsely, that Berman had resigned. Jay Clayton, a golfing buddy of Trump’s who is the chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission, would be the nominee to replace Berman, Barr said; in the interim, the job would go to Craig Carpenito, the U.S. attorney for New Jersey. But Berman replied that he had not resigned and would not resign. Because the attorney general has no power to get rid of a court-appointed U.S. attorney, Barr had to backpedal and enlist the president’s help. On Saturday, Barr announced that Trump was firing Berman at his request. Trump tried to sidestep the mess: “I’m not involved,” he told reporters.
As the president and his attorney general passed this bag of waste back and forth, their plan for the Southern District fell through. Because Berman is court-appointed, his interim replacement has to be his deputy, Audrey Strauss, the first assistant U.S. attorney. Strauss is a veteran prosecutor, respected by her peers, thoroughly versed in the cases that threaten Trump, and—though it should be irrelevant—a Democrat who donated to Hillary Clinton in 2016. Trump and Barr are stuck with her. It isn’t clear that either of them understood or foresaw this. The administration’s actions have always reflected a mix of malevolence and incompetence; these days, the balance is shifting toward the latter.
Even if Berman testifies before the House Judiciary Committee, we might never find out exactly why he was fired. But the reasons are less important than the implications: A president who aspired, with the help of an ideological attorney general, to exercise authoritarian power over his government is stumbling into blunders that are destroying any illusion of control, and with it the grounds for fearing him. The triple crisis of the spring of 2020—the coronavirus, unemployment, protests—and the elusive basement campaign of his Democratic challenger have Trump swinging wildly and connecting with his own face. All the tricks that once kept him on the offensive—rallies and purges, insults and race-baiting—are no longer working. Barr, who seemed so formidable just a few months ago, is flailing.
…
None of this means that Trump is going to lose in November, or that he will leave quietly if he does. Nor does it mean that the government he’s spent the past three and a half years trying to destroy is actually in good health and fighting back. Incidents such as the bungled Friday-night massacre are signs that the federal bureaucracy is still alive, not that it is well. But Berman’s defiance, like that of the retired military officers who recently criticized Trump, seems part of a larger collapse that will build its own momentum. Failure is a contagion.
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What part of “I am telling them to slow down testing” didn’t you understand?
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Was it like that Rodney Dangerfield movie Back to School?
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Did she do the Triple Lindy?
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How long till Trump pardons him.
Doh! I guess the Lucy pulling the football is on the other foot for once.
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Well I feel fine
So this is actually the same timeline as Event Horizon? Not so comforting.
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