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Remember that I am extremely old. And not very cool.
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I’m a passenger in a car right now but I always travel with the Hot Takes Dosimeter kit as a sanity check.
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Definitely took a bit to dawn on me that I’m at or maybe even below the average age of the forum members here.
Or at least the active members.
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#7 - Last Mango in Paris - Jimmy Buffett
You said Yacht Rock, right? Ok, I admit it. I’m a Parrothead. Have been since I was a kid. There’s nothing like seeing Jimmy Buffett live. I submitted the live version because that’s when Jimmy is at his best. Pretty sure I got a contact high at age 12 when I first saw him with my parents…no one cared that “grass” was illegal! This song is a classic. Yeah, it has fruit in the title (he probably has about 50 of those, lol), but it’s a story about a Key West legend by a legendary storyteller. If you haven’t read “A Pirate Looks at Fifty,” I highly suggest doing so.
I don’t hate Jimmy Buffet. In fact, I too enjoy telling old yarns that don’t really go anywhere. For example, a couple days after I moved to the USVI just after college, I was sitting in the Arby’s eating a cheeseburger, when Cheeseburger in Paradise came on the sound system. It was a special moment. You have to understand the Arby’s was more like a full service bar and restaurant with a nice view of the harbor, and really only sold Arby’s stuff out of one corner. Not sure how that happened, but it did. Anyway, I got my “Jimmy Buffet syndrome” phase out of the way very early in life. I learned that for me life on a tropical island would be a sweaty, sunburned hell. I’d be like one of those old sea captains who used to have fair skin, but now looks like a dehydrated pomegranate.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah - so anyway I didn’t hate the melody. But right out of the gate “Last Mango in Paris” irked me. I mean it’s the title of the song but is it just a dumb meaningless play on Last Tango in Paris? So I went down a rabbit hole trying to find out if there was actually anything to the story, which landed me on the parrothead forums. Literally 3 pages into the thread someone chimed in with, “I think it’s just a play on Last Tango in Paris” (chimpstare.gif)
Then someone posted that Paris imports all their mangos. Which prompted this exchange that I greatly enjoyed:
But more interestingly, apparently the Captain Tony mentioned in the song was a real person, who owned a bar of the same name and was either the real mayor or honorary mayor of Key West for the latter part of his life.
https://capttonyssaloon.com/official-obit/
So that reminded me a bit of Bill here, who had been sailing the Caribbean for 20 years and had more than a few stories he’d be happy to regale you with. To be fair his stories were generally pretty interesting, and some might even have been true. It wasn’t a bad spot to watch the sun go down, and I realized I’d probably be someone’s Bill someday (assuming I’m not already). Hopefully they’ll listen to my stories.
So that whole rabbit hole bumped the song up a few spots.
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Skydiver is the resident walrus parrothead, right?
Don’t know, but I guess by process of elimination there can’t be too many other candidates.
#6 - Harry Styles - Kiwi
(Can someone make sure I’ve got the numbers correct so far, I always fuck that up)
This song probably isn’t inspired by a kiwi fruit, but it’s not mentioned at all in the lyrics, so you can’t prove that it isn’t. The album also contains songs called “Watermelon Sugar” and “Cherry”, so there’s a fruit theme going on there.
This song reminds me of Beverly Hills by Weezer. It’s a perfectly cromulent, fast-paced, tightly-constructed song. A fun romp that you forget the second you’re done listening to it. Nothing wrong with that. But that’s literally all I can think of to say about it.
Also the video is weird. Kids acting like adults always freaks me out a bit. But I didn’t ding it for that.
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Stayed up too late to watch weightlifting
Still fruiting here
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And this would be me, just before I board.
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Is Sunday the day every unstucker flies somewhere?
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Who’s following that’s still alive?
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I am for now. Everyone gonna read and follow, don’t sweat attendance too much.
Dear God, the Jimmy Buffet Harry Styles 1-2 punch of death. Dosimeter says these levels are lethal and warns that an even worse Styles fruit song is certain death.
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Well you’re in luck because our next band looks like Oasis but sounds like Creed.
Led Zeppelin disrespect ITT
One Led Zep song still alive.
It’s a lame one, tho.
Peace brother.
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#5 - The Birthday - Lemon
Picked this video because the one with the English title cuts off the first note or two of the song.
This is a catchy song that I liked more and more the more I listened to it. I suspect though that if was in English it would be a lot more forgettable.
Which is a good example of why I have a foreign language song category. Lyrics rarely raise a song up for me, but can very often bring it down down down. But when I can’t understand the lyrics - I assume they’re the most transcendent poetry you ever heard.
Just like all the old softcore porn movies (Emannuelle movies, Lady Chatterly, etc.) I watched in high school by turning the analog dial all the way to the left on Cinemax - to produce a very clear black and white picture, with no sound. The dialog in my little silent B&W art films was always superb. Until I saw the actual movie later in color with sound. The dialog was so bad I had to turn the volume down.
I’ll take your word that the song had fruit in it. It did sound like he was saying lemony-catchigayna a few times. And maybe desperado. I’d say this song has like 80% of the elements to be an instant classic. But putting the Japanese GE Smith on guitar might not have been the best choice. I loved the ending.
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