Resilient Rexx Keeps On Keeping On

[Trolly]

Whatever, 2020 was a shitty year, 2021 things will look up.

[Rexx]

Cheers to that!

[Devil]

Hey, Rexx. I always hesitate to give advice but The Secret Life of Fat is a good book that helps explain why it’s so damn hard to lose weight. I found it somewhat validating. I’m on your side, fwiw.

[Rexx]

Thanks Devil. Any advice is appreciated and I value your support.

[Rexx]

5286 steps

[Rexx]

5273 steps

[RiskyFlush]

@Rexx

I have to say I had moments where I was like “Fuck it, my dog’s dead wtf does it even matter” but I thought if I can get through this I can get through anything. I know Rusty would want me fit and able to run around with my other dog. I really miss him.

@Rexx

I’ve been thinking about things for quite a while. I needed a break because it had been a year since I started this log and there has been no improvement in fact I have put on weight

@Rexx

My weight gain is definitely linked to trauma i have experienced but I don’t want that trauma to define me. I am much more than that. I deserve to have a fit and healthy body. I am going to make this happen. Back to calorie counting, back to exercise and back to feeling good about myself. I can and will do this.

@Rexx

It’s just so disheartening, I get so disappointed in myself. I do so well in other areas of my life and I was slim until my mid 30s. I never ever thought I’d get this big. I guess most bigger people feel that way.

Anyway I am having a good day, on track with calories and on track to 5k steps!

Rexx,

My friend, I went back over your thread since exactly one year ago. Your weight is one measure of your well-being. I would just like to take a brief assessment of what else you manifested over the last year. Not saying anything you do not already know, just sitting with it for a moment.

• Logged consistently
• Logged honestly
• Explored new athletic activities
• Practiced mindful eating and exercise
• Practiced body awareness
• Endured sudden illness in your dog and provided comfort to them in their hour of need, then lost this most precious of friends just as the pandemic was entering a dangerous phase
• Transitioned off your antidepressant just as the pandemic was beginning
• Considered giving up eating and drinking as coping resources just as many were beginning to reach for both far more often
• Held it together with minimally diminished well-being in a time when many people collapsed entirely or outright died
• Practiced gratitude and vulnerability when it would have been easy to give in completely to resentment and isolation
• Joined the Truant family for socially-distanced yoga
• Acknowledged your circumstances had changed and went back on the antidepressants
• Explored seeing a new doctor
• Maintained a garden
• Provided via your log a thread where everyone who posted showed each other unconditional love
• Endured the anniversary of losing your mother during the pandemic
• Signed up for a sleep study

It has been a tough time, and yet you’ve made tremendous progress as a human being over the last year. You may in fact be doing far better than ought to be possible for a person in your position. I hope you will sit with all the marks of growth and success I’ve listed above. You own every one of them.

[Rexx]

@MaxCut

But I would walk 5000 steps!
And I would walk 5000 more!
Just to be the man who walks ten thousand steps
To fall down at your door!

Rexx 2020!

That made me laugh so much. Thank you Max!

[Rexx]

@anon46587892

Do you have any ideas about what you could be doing differently in order to get different results this year? Are there some leaks you can plug? Not sure how accurate my recollection is, (and I’m sorry if I’m wrong about some of these—I know I would hate being “accused” of doing things that weren’t true), but it seems like you are almost always at, or close to, your target calories unless one of the following occur:

• you give yourself a pass for a day where you know you’ll be consuming a lot like a party (but I think these are relatively infrequent)I’m not too concerned about this as it doesn’t happen that often and if I do know I’m going to be having a big day I may try to reduce my calories the previous day to 1200 to combat the day a little.
• you drink (but I think you’ve cut back on drinking calories)This was definitely a leak but I’ve pretty much cut drinking out as I’m only having it once a month atm.
• your boyfriend comes home with unexpected junk food He doesn’t do this as often anymore as he’s trying to be more supportive.
• you’re having a difficult day and comfort yourself with foodThis is a big leak and it’s hard to break. I have found that herbal tea feels like a treat and may be something I can replace food with when I feel like I need some comfort. This is much worse if I stop logging and just go under the radar for a week, so logging everyday has to be my goal.
  Maybe I’m missing others, but if the above are accurate, are there any things you can do to limit their consequences? I think the last one is probably the biggest culprit but also the one that is most resistant to change.

Thank you for your post. You addressed some issues I have been thinking about and I appreciate that. I do think one of the biggest hurdles I need to try and control is not continuing 1 bad day into a week or even longer. My depression doesn’t help with this but I’m hoping the daily walking will lift my mood a bit. I also find if I’ve done some exercise (any really) early on in the day I tend to be more on the ball with my eating as I don’t want to spoil it so to speak. 4 days into this and I feel a lot more confident than how I was on NYE. Working out what I’m going to eat for the day and then sticking to it is key

[Rexx]

@RiskyFlush

It has been a tough time, and yet you’ve made tremendous progress as a human being over the last year. You may in fact be doing far better than ought to be possible for a person in your position. I hope you will sit with all the marks of growth and success I’ve listed above. You own every one of them.

That was so kind of you to go through and point out all my strengthes for the year and hurdles I’ve faced. I tend to be my own worst critic so seeing another perspective that is so positive is very moving. I may have had a little cry reading your post. Thank you so much for taking the time to post that and make me feel better about myself. You really bring a positivity to this forum which is much needed and I really value you as a person

[Rexx]

5132 steps

[RiskyFlush]

@Rexx

You really bring a positivity to this forum which is much needed and I really value you as a person

Thank you. I feel the same way about you <3

[seities]

This was an incredibly cool thing you did RF.

As you pointed out, its also all true. @Rexx hold your head high!

[RiskyFlush]

TY!

Pay it forward if you know someone who could use one

[Rexx]

I’ve been watching this comedy Shrill about a young obese woman and the challenges she faces etc etc, it’s about a 7/10 a bit preachy but still worth a watch and it made me realise how good I have it in some ways. I’ve never been too embarrassed by my body to go swimming. I’m obviously not delusional and realise it’s far from perfect but no way am I missing out on the enjoyment of swimming because I happen to have a larger body.

Hurtful comments definitely stick with you though.

[RiskyFlush]

They do! Sometimes an unreasonable but undeniable impact. (And sometimes a reasonable but deniable)

[RiskyFlush]

I enjoyed Shrill an awful lot. I was very happy with the consistent quality across seasons. I was a little nervous they’d caught lightning in a bottle for season one, but they somehow managed to up their game.

[Rexx]

I have just started season 2 so am glad it didn’t go downhill.

[Rexx]

Got back from a walk saturated and with a feels like 9 when we’re meant to be in summer wtf lol. Still Rex did enjoy the towel rubdown so there’s that.

[microbet]

I can’t tell if you left some words out of that post or typos or if it was just in Australian.