Online dating thread

Does Fossil post here? That dude is the GOAT.

I’ve run into an awkward problem. I’m Facebook friends with a woman I went to HS with. I don’t think we’ve ever really talked before, she was just added back when you added everyone in school basically.

I’ve come across her profile on Hinge. On Hinge you post 6 pictures and answer 3 ice breaker questions and you have to like one of those things and have an option to comment too. Then the person who receives the like decides if they want to match.

Do I treat her like any other person on the app I’d be interested in and send a like and comment?

Tell her you should have banged in high school but she’s still hot enough though not for long.

Still chugging along.

My profile isn’t the best so I’m not getting tons of matches but that’s not what I’m here to complain about since that’s on me.

The problem is when i have gotten matches. I’m decent enough at engaging in a little back and forth convo but then I ask them out for a drink and I’m ghosted. Every single time. Haven’t gotten a no. No let’s talk a little more online. Haven’t gotten a yes and then bailed on. Just no more messages again.

Am I doing something wrong or am I just getting unlucky?

Wow, didn’t even know this thread existed.

My online dating adventures are over as I’ve been in a great relationship for about 9 months, but it was a fun period in my life going crazy on the dating apps.

tabbaker, it depends a bit on the type of messages you’re receiving, but I’d say it’s probably just negative variance. When I was going on tons of dates my standard was to ask the girl out after we’d each exchanged about 4-6 messages each. I’d say I got a positive response about 75% of the time.

If you’ve already gotten a handful of decent messages from the girl, then it’s fine to go ahead and ask to meet up. If her answers seem disinterested and very short then the likelihood of getting her on a date is probably very low regardless of how many responses you get.

wireless, my expertise is more in app arena, but I’d probably just ask her to grab a coffee sometime and bring up that you’re in an open relationship and then gauge her interest from there.

It sounds like she is giving you a few signals but I’d step back and check with your wife about them. She can help you read her. Make sure this isn’t just dickfull thinking. If she is friendly in general maybe you are over reading?

If you think there are real signals I’d say don’t approach the subject in class. Women don’t want to be hit on at the gym. If you are building a rapport asked her for coffee or lunch. If your open relationship is such that you help each other with secondary partners then invite her out with both of you. She will feel comfortable with that.

Then all you can do is read the situation and use your emotional intelligence to tell when it’s right so ask about more than friendship. You are always risking rejection. But without the risk you never get the reward.

For those who don’t know, @Fossilkid93 is the #1 contributor to the OOT thread with the same topic.

Was. I’ve been in a great relationship for 10 months. The thread was super helpful though and helped my dating life 100 fold. I shared a ton of stories about dating in France and Latin America over the past couple years. Seems like the thread has all but died now, and especially with coronavirus.

It is forward. There is no way around being forward when you are poly. That’s why I mentioned if your wife is willing to be your wing woman it can help a lot. Sad truth is it will always be much more difficult for you to find secondary partners than it will her.

Isn’t that the point? I was under the impression you were looking for something more than a friend.

It’s just a feeling out date. 30-45 minutes and you can direct the convo where you want and see if she’s receptive. If not, no harm, no foul. If yes, you can move the date somewhere more interesting or set something up for a future date.

There is often a feeling out time where you are each trying to figure out what the others intentions are without asking. I tend to let this go a little to make sure she is comfortable but to eventually cut to the point. I’m not scared of rejection and I let her know I’m ok with it so she isn’t scared to say no.

If she knows your wife or is in your social circle make sure she is ok with being outed.

Seems like a reasonable approach.

FYI those currently in the dating game, we are having a Watch party on an episode all about modern dating.

An actual exchange I had on Tinder yesterday. This has not been altered in any way

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Are you sticking to online dates or will you be eating a pint six feet apart?

Bernie is either the cause of, or solution to, all of life’s problems. Both are equally likely.

I guess online ice cream eating

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Somehow I get a lot of Asians and some Russians giving me a like recently(got Tinder Gold so I know who likes me) either from somewhere in a 200km radius or living 8000km away. I have no fkn idea how I end up in their tinder suggestions. Not that I wouldnt be open to it but I am more afraid its just a scam. Had anyone else experienced something like this?

It’s a scam

“Hey guys, this crazy cute asian girl from 3000K away says she wants to meet me, and it will only cost me 800 dollars to wire her the money for a plane ticket! Sounds like a steal to me”