The phrase “you can’t have your cake and eat it” is just terrible. First of, it might be interpreted to be having a cake and then, at some later time, eating it. Second, having a cake can mean eating a cake. English is not my native tongue and I was very confused the first time I heard it.
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It took me years to figure that one out.
I once read (maybe in a Miss Manners book?) that the Queen of England once displayed the ultimate in etiquette when hosting a party. One of the guests dropped and broke a priceless teacup and was obviously mortified. In response, the Queen took her own teacup, threw it to the floor, and said “I never liked these anyway.”
The lesson I take away is that grue should have ordered his own piece of cake and then thrown it at the waitress. Or something like that - I don’t actually understand how things work in Great Britain.
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I understood it immediately because when I was about 4 years old I got an awesome Batman cake for my birthday and cried when my mom cut it up so we could eat it. It scarred me for life.
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It makes a little more sense when it’s reversed: You can’t eat your cake and have it, too.
This is where I’ll direct a rant at myself, because I’m super guilty of this.
I’ve bought a lot of beer in my life, sometimes fairly expensive beer. And the standard thing I’ll do is look at a bottle of expensive beer–beer that I was excited to get–and think smartly, “Remember spidercrab, you can’t drink your beer and have it, too. If you drink this now, it will be gone forever. So you better make damn sure it’s a special enough occasion to drink it.” And so I smartly decide, “No, not now.” And I never drink that special bottle.**
But here’s where I go from normal person with slight weirdo tendencies to complete sociopath: it doesn’t actually matter how many bottles of this special beer I actually have. Because I am smart and I use backwards induction. “Yes, spidercrab, it’s true that you now have 6 bottles of Cantillon Fou Foune. Surely you can drink one of them now.” “Aah, but if I drink one, then I’ll have 5 left. And then, if I drink another 1, I’ll have 4 left, and then 3 and then 2, and then 1, and then they’re all gone - exactly the same problem!” So I continue to drink none and now I’m a crazy hoarder with lots of beer in my basement room that I don’t ever drink.
I hate that spidercrab guy.
**This line of thinking is common enough that a couple of WSJ wine writers created “Open That Bottle Night”.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/BL-HOWTOWB-288
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Looks like an albino snapping turtle’s head emerging from a hole in a log to bite your finger. She seems pretty talented to do all that with a disposable wipe
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I think this is why professionals use a spit bucket. Problem solved imo.
Thank you! Saying never made sense to me either but for first time at least understand what it was trying to get at.
I’ve always understood it, but never liked how it was worded.
If someone says “I’ll have a piece of cake”, then it means they’re eating it.
I think there are multiple appropriate ways to deal with the situation if you are in grue’s spot. And above is fine. It sounds like he didn’t even blink and just paid the bill as usual like he didn’t even notice it, which is fine too, imo.
However, even if above transpired, I’m sure the guest in question would tell you that not breaking the teacup is a better play than breaking the teacup. Of course in this case, the teacup breaking was an accident. So, that’s a bit different from what happened in grue’s case.
People who only have glass jars (eg Ball jars) for their beverage glassware, what the fuck? You had an easy choice between threaded and non-threaded lips and you failed. Dribble, wipe. Good day.
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The only place I’ve seen this is restaurants that have it as a way of accentuating some sort of theme. You’re telling me there are people that live like this?
I’m telling you I know more than one household that lives like this. I was just at a friend’s place drinking ice water out of a wine glass because F the jars.
EDIT: no stem
Yes. Some people need Mason jars for canning and if you already have jars that can be used as drinking vessels, then it’s wasteful to buy separate glasses.
The people who drink out of jars are probably mainly rednecks, people into growing their own (usually organic) produce, and hipster craving to simulate the authenticity of the first two groups.
Quickbooks going to yearly sub instead of one-time purchase is fucking ridiculous. Can’t roll back to the 2020 version either because lol Intuit.
Start at 1:45 for the part your ordeal reminded me of. Too bad she didn’t order a piece for you.
I needed new tires.
I was shopping on Cyber Monday, trying to find a good deal and came across some at Walmart $30 less per tire than any other place so I went ahead and ordered a full set of four. Total price, $314.35.
They weren’t in stock, but would be delivered to the store by Friday for pick up. Friday comes and the tires haven’t arrived. My order was updated saying there was a delay and I would be notified when they came in… Fine, I’ll wait a couple of days and check back.
A week later, there’s no update, so I figure I’ll contact customer support to see what’s up. My tires are pretty bald and one has a slow leak. I drive for Lyft, so I’m kind of worried driving on these and really want to get them replaced. I do the online chat and ask if they know when these tires would be delivered. He checks and says he doesn’t know where they are. Not that they’re still at the warehouse or on they way, they’re missing. So I tell him if he has no idea when they’re coming in, I just want to cancel the order and get a refund. He says he’ll process the refund and the money will be returned to my account in 7-10 business days. Fine. I go to Big O tires and buy a set of 4 and have them installed the next day.
So today I get an email saying my tires are in.
I click on the order link and I see that the order was canceled on Dec 9th, but with this line: “We can’t guarantee we’ll be able to cancel these items. They may already have been prepared. We’ll send an email if your cancellation is confirmed.” So I contact customer support. She has no notes about a refund being processed, but she will start one. She says to be patient it will be back in my account in 7-10 business days. Fine. I get an email almost immediately saying they are issuing a refund for my Nov 9th order for $78.58.
What. The. Fuck.
Back to customer service. Finally I am told the refund will be processed for all four tires and I would be refunded the full amount.
This whole thing could have been avoided if they could simply keep track of where the tires were and give me an approximate time of when they would arrive.
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Ok fuck Twitter in the face
I had a burner account that I use to call random people fucking idiots in the tweets you guys posts links to on this board
So I got logged out and couldn’t figure out what email went to what account or what my passwords were so after a week of struggling to use Twitter without an account, I decided to create a new one using my Apple account, making sure I hid my email and I made my Twitter handle a bunch of random letters.
So I get logged in and call someone a fucking idiot, and then I look at my tweet, and my real actual full name is my defaulted display name. What in the fucking fuck? Thanks Twitter! That makes sense! Took me like 10 minutes to figure out how to change it too ughhhh
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