I know I have great potential for destruction even when I am not even trying, it is something I struggle with a lot. Sometimes (a lot of the time) I don’t understand the consequences for the things I say. I also have a lot of rage so yea I worry sometimes about that going too far. I would never do anything violent but I have a vicious tongue when provoked and sometimes when not. I have learned over the years that when you cut someone deeply they never forget it and the relationship can rarely be healed, so I am very cautious with my temper. I function well with a certain level of anger but when it goes too far its incredibly destructive.
I worry the most about my depression becoming unmanaged and I finally kill myself. I think in the last 3 years, I have flirted with about as close to the edge as I possibly could have, and that was with treatment. That is what I fear the most, losing control of it. I have no doubt in my mind it will happen someday, but I hope it is when I have an actual terminal disease and not because of this stupid bullshit .
Another thought, and I should preface this by saying I’m not a psychiatrist or qualified mental health counselor, but I rarely spoke about my suicidal ideations when I was in that place. The reason for that was that I didn’t want to scare people and I didn’t want anyone to try to stop me when I got to that point. I don’t know if that is typical, but it is the way it was for me. So the fact that this person is talking about it makes me think that they may want help, if they are actually suicidal, but they may not be equipped to go about it in a way that’s more productive.
One other possibility is that they could be depressed but not actually suicidal. My depression has seriously altered my perspective on death, including suicide, even though I’m not suicidal currently, I still think life is meaningless and often terrible, and if I were to be honest about death, I think the way we treat suicide is absurd. The notion that we routinely commit people, involuntarily, to mental institutions/hospitals to prevent them from killing themselves is funny to me in a very dark way.
I’ve digressed a bit, but it’s cool to check in on your friend, and he or she should probably talk to some sort of professional.
The recent news about the environment is giving me a real case of existential crises and whogivesafuckitis (in the we are all going to die pretty soon anyway, why should i give a fuck about anything?)
Halp. I really dont see how this gets turned around and really dont have the stomach for a resource war.
I’m sorry to hear that. Have you found anything helps you process these thoughts and feelings?
I find it helpful to process these things by listening to people far smarter than me discuss them. One of my favorites is Sean Carrol’s MINDSCAPE podcast.
This was helpful for me.
And then these helped me process the larger feelings of existential crisis beyond our planet:
Check out the latest Ezra Klein episode. It’s an interview about how the climate problems are really about our energy consumption and that it is actually quite possible to convert to all renewables in a reasonably short time. It’s a pretty fascinating and uplifting interview, especially considering it’s about the climate.
Just going through this thread now for the first time.
On finding a therapist - Ive worked with a number of them. I really think it is a case where finding a good fit for you is important. One way to do that is some therapists will do a free intro call with you just so you can briefly explain what you are struggling with and they can explain a bit how they work. Sometimes you can tell right away if you feel comfortable. In my experience I have got the best results when I work with someone who gives me some “homework” to do between sessions. For others you might just want to talk in the session and think about it as little as possible until the next session. I guess what I am getting at is…therapists are there to help you. So, if you feel like you know something you want from them, don’t be afraid to screen specifically based on that, and don’t feel bad about going to one session with someone, feeling like you didn’t “click” with them, and then trying to see someone else. If you are on the fence about trying it I highly, highly recommend making the effort to try and see someone because there is a huge possible upside if it works for you.
Late on this response, apologies. But as someone who does speak with a certain amount of authority on mental health, I’d tell you that there’s no downside to checking in with this person about your concern.
Question isn’t really “if” but “how”. If you’re mindful about tone, timing, and seem genuinely caring you’ll potentially create a safe space for someone to respond honestly.
I’ll go more into this if desired (and I notice inquiries), but like 90% of the therapist’s job is being able to create healthy & positive relationships with people irrespective of demographics. 10% is clinical know-how. I mean for one, you can’t do your sick clinical interventions without the former getting clients in the door, and if you DO get them to in the door you won’t see treatment to its successful end with them if they don’t regularly attend. You’re dealing with strangers’ deeply personal issues and you get an hour a week at most to build rapport; it’s way, waaaay harder than you might imagine.
Anyway, as a client it’s not unlike dating; might take a few fails before you find a good fit. I’d definitely recommend trying folks out and not giving up if your first session or two with someone feels wrong.
I’d also HIGHLY recommend getting referrals from trusted friends / family and/or going to your PCP for referrals. They’ll have a list of trusted pros who they’ve gotten good feedback about throughout the years from their clients.
So I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety the past 2 days or so, and feel like a panic attack is imminent. Yesterday at lunch I felt the dissociation and shortness of breath starting and did a grounding exercise and was ok.
Is there any advantage to just having the panic attack and getting it over with? Will it help release some of this anxiety? I tried googling this but can’t find anything helpful.
Although I can’t offer you actual clinical advice, it would help me to know if you are able to identify what your catastrophic fears are when you are in the midst of an attack.
The most common fears are, in no particular order:
Fear of dying via heart attack,
Fear of suffocating from lack of breathing,
Fear of fainting,
Fear of embarrassing oneself if others see the attack,
Fear of “going crazy.”
Definitely fear of suffocating, which kills me because like I try to rationalize it constantly as like “you are a healthy 32 year old, you don’t have problems breathing, you feel like you can’t breathe because of anxiety” but every time it starts feeling like my breaths are short it’s still scary. Is it a catastrophic fear if I simultaneously know that it’s not real?
I don’t feel fear that I’m going crazy, but in an actual attack it 100% feels like I am. Like little control over my thoughts, struggling to make sense of what I’m looking at, feeling completely detached.
I do think that there’s some connection to my phone/internet/social media. Like I have noticed that I kind of compulsively go through 4-5 websites pretty much constantly all day while I try to work. I will open WaPo, glance through headlines, close it, to to Baltimore Sun, do the same thing, then open Wapo again. Idk if that’s something contributing to the anxiety or something I’m doing because of it or neither.
I would suggest to a hypothetical patient he likely has some doubts in that moment whether he will be OK, even though it would seem super unlikely that someone without a respiratory condition could physically suffocate from an anxiety response.
I asked about fears since you mentioned wondering if you should just roll with an attack rather than fight it. I believe if someone with a fear of suffocating can force himself to just roll with it and not try to “save” himself he should learn fairly quickly that he’ll be OK.
Once someone genuinely believes that he will be O.K. no matter what, the panic attacks often just fade away.
Of course, an anxious person will still be anxious…but not anxious enough about his own anxiety reactions to have panic attacks
I’m going to spend some time thinking about this and the rest of your response. I think you’re probably right. I very much appreciate that you took the time to respond :)
