True, true. But if I were going to blamelessly point someone else’s pettiness in their direction…
edit: this was meant as a reply to this @jmakin’s post on his ADHD diagnosis, but the link got lost.
A couple of months ago, a few days before I read your post I realized I might be suffering from ADD and I remember reading your post soon after.
It made me try out a non-clinical computer test that measures impulse and attention control, which was a complete torture to take, but it came back pretty normal / average.
I set the diagnostic process in motion, curious to find out if maybe I was suffering from something else, or if the test was maybe missing part of the picture. Last Friday I went to a specialized clinic that offers one-day rule-out / rule-in AD(H)D diagnosis.
At the clinic they made me take a different computer test (QbTest) than the one I took earlier, and seemed like a variation of what you described. 20 minutes long, every 2 seconds one of four images was displayed for a fraction of a second on a computer screen, and you had to click a button if it was the same image as the previous one.
It measures activity (with a sensor on a head band), impulse control and attention control. The latter two came back average, but the first one was off the charts. Like 1000 micro movements per minute where 50 is normal.
This result, along with the outcome of other tests and the anamnesis, led to the diagnosis of ADHD, combined type (both attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder). I got medication and retook the test once the meds hit their peak. It was a really strong experience, as it was suddenly easy to sit still and pay attention to the stupid test, and it felt as if I had more time (I knew the test was exactly the same). The result: 100 micro movements per minute and the average response time was cut with 20%.
Turned out I actually HAD more time, because I wasn’t constantly being distracted by my own movements.
I still need to get comfortable with the diagnosis. Feels really odd, as the image I had of ADHD is hard to reconcile with my self image, but that might be because my behavioral and social impulse control seem pretty normal. My (lack of) ability to sit still and concentrate on things that don’t interest me, isn’t though.
I started medication on a very low dose that will be increased every 5 days until I find the right balance. Curious to see what happens to my mental state when I hit the right dose.
TL;DR: in my 40s I am diagnosed with ADHD and it’s really odd to reconcile my self image with the image I had of the disorder
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My friend FriskyLush took an online inventory.
Obviously you shouldn’t put too much stock in online inventories over the diagnosis of an actual professional, but nothing wrong with a little fun food for thought and reflection. Next stop, Buzzfeed!
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Pretty much exactly what i would expect for myself, my whole family (parents/siblings) has issues with emotions and such.
Edit: the avoidant thing is more a me thing, the Schizoid s a result of family, avoidant thing is a result of some childhood experiences I think
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isitpossibletolearnthispower.gif
Gotta grade straya residents on a curve compared to USA #1 citizens
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Are you seeing a therapist?
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I love you, I’m not gonna cry!
I like it, I’m not gonna cry
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No
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Yeah well my issues (addictive behaviours of various kinds, procrastination, avoidant behaviour - but not due to fear or embarrassment as in avoidant personality, anxiety, directionlessness) just don’t come under the heading of personality disorder. Actually I thought it was weird that I scored a bit on borderline as borderline is very not me, then I realized it was probably the answers around impulsive behaviours, alcohol/drugs/sex etc.
Side note, autocorrect tried to turn directionlessness into “direction lewdness” which, kind of true.
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Very interesting. Thank you for sharing this insight into you.
I sort of wonder if I have mild adhd given the experiences of others ITT. Maybe other people can tell me if they’ve had this experience: I have sometimes put off for literally weeks a task which when I eventually do it takes ten minutes. Sort of seems like that shit is not normal.
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Year started with two unsuccesful suicide attempts, followed by 4 weeks psych ward, followed by 3 months haze because of ECT therapy, followed by heroic doses of various psychedelics, followed by 10 week CBT therapy, followed by daily meditation and NGO work with marginalized children, never surrender.
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Hang in there. I’m sending you positive energy and am really rooting for you. I don’t really know what to say but had to say something. We’re on your side mate.
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Thank you for sharing with us, baddis. Pulling for you. Never surrender! Never give up.
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I’ve done this too. Or I’ll put off a bunch of stuff for a week or two, then do it all at once. It’s gotten worse in the pandemic for anything that involves touching things that need to be wiped down. I end up letting them sit two weeks instead sometimes.
Some people, I’m not saying me but maybe sometimes, need the panic, the crisis, the immediate urgency of an imminent deadline in order to manifest the focus that empowers us to do something that should be so simple. But that’s what it takes to break through everything else standing in the way of our productivity.
And deeper still, some people crave that intensity to sustain a feeling of being alive. They’ll jump from tackling one crisis after the next just to sustain their focus.
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