No, I’ll check it out - thanks!
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Lots of us feel this way. You are not alone in this one.
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My sympathy to people going through a rough time. It is a hard situation we’re all in.
I have my ups and downs but I feel like under the circumstances I’m absolutely thriving. In 7 months I’ve lost 30 lbs and got a diagnosis for something that’s plagued me my entire life. I have few friends or family close to me so it is a little isolating but I really like being on my own. I have a kid I’m mentoring. I do DnD twice a week. I’m playing more video games than I’ve ever played. You don’t have to convince me to stay home.
The only downside to all of this is the lack of intimacy with women. That I miss a lot and is getting difficult. I also am struggling to concentrate with WFH. But otherwise I feel like I am uniquely suited to this pandemic and all the repercussions.
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In times like these it’s extra important to practice self love and self care, whatever those words mean to you. Sorry, that’s all I got. I’m sorry man
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Still figuring this part out.
My wife has a chronic disorder that can often be debilitating. It’s just a fact of the body she was born with. We treat it as medical science allows and otherwise accept how our options diminish in the midst of her worst episodes.
And yet I basically never offer myself the same compassion for my mental health. I have a chronic condition, and when it flairs up, I yell at myself for not being able to suck it up and just act normal. To show everyone and myself I’m perfectly fine and healthy. As though it really is just in my head and may as well be made up.
Would I ask the same thing from someone with a broken leg? From someone missing a kidney? Would I tell a fish it’s stupid because it’s awesome at swimming but is too dumb to climb trees?
What about from a child who grew up in horrific abuse and now struggles to feel a moment of peace, presence, and safety? I abuse myself in my head for experiencing that struggle, but reading that Nonono post and talking it out itt, I sense clarity on how little compassion I show myself for my own limits.
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The last big breakthrough I had was about simply not feeling sorry for my mental health anymore. Not blaming myself. I’m allowed to blame myself for not treating it, not taking it seriously, or not planning around it… I’m not allowed to blame myself for not being OK… and if something bad happens because I am the way I am that’s something to learn from and plan around not something to beat myself up about.
And you know what? My world becomes a little bit more friendly to the way I am every day. When you stop blaming yourself for stuff it becomes a whole lot easier to figure out where the guard rails should be.
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I don’t know of your specific challenges, but sometimes a slight internal linguistics change can help separate health from blame and then empower us to take action. For example, shifting from “oh man, I’m really depressed today” to “oh snap, the depression has really snuck up on me today” or “dang, the anxiety is really getting riled up today.”
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I’m lived for so long in my low grade depression that it’s just become physical symptoms for me. All my mental health stuff manifests physically.
I barely notice it in my head anymore, don’t know whether it’s good or a bad thing. I need my therapist to tell me when I’m getting depressed. The thing about living with depression is it only has as much power as you give it. Changing the language around it is a good idea.
But it used to cause me quite a bit of torment. I don’t know what really changed - medication helps and I must be on it for the rest of my life, most likely. I guess I kind of used a lot of defense mechanisms to turn things into a positive. For instance, apathy from depression can be really good when there’s a lot of crazy shit going on in the world. Nervous anxious energy can be transformed into productivity. Stuff like that.
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Okay, who has trouble with rumination and what do you do about it?
I mean constant dwelling on thing(s) that pissed you off and can’t let go of. Relentlessly intrusive thoughts, some from years ago.
The problem is definitely worse for me when depressed, so there’s that association.
Anybody had a drug specifically for rumination?
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I think a lot of people with anxiety/depression have this symptom.
For me one of the really helpful things here has been mindfulness practice. I still don’t do it nearly often enough, but it does help you to be more aware of your thought spirals, which is the first step to being able to counter them.
If you do get aware that you are ruminating and looking for a tactic of sorts, one thing you can do is something like the 3-2-1. Identify 3 things you can see, 2 things you can touch and 1 thing you can hear. But don’t just quickly tick them off, kinda investigate each one a little. “I can see my shoes. They are black and made of leather, and in the corner of the room” for example.
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Agree with seities. I know how annoying it can be to jump on what appears to be a fad, but mindfulness is the real deal. I’m new to it, but finding real benefits. Try out the headspace app, imo.
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Yeah - A lot has been said in this thread of the meditation thread about it already, but there really is a lot of benefit to also understanding what meditation actually is like vs the misguided perception that you just close your eyes and feel a state of zen. Let me know if you don’t have much info to start with and I will get you links to stuff.
Also, I don’t know if this actually works but someone else that has been ruminating on negative thoughts lately has taken to posting incoherent rants on twitter, using the words “election fraud”, “illegal” and “newsmax” a lot. shrug
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For some reason I read shoes as shorts and have to say I was impressed with how open and free people had become in this thread!
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I just went into my preferences and turned off notifications for Likes.
Feels like quitting booze man 
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Two days in and it is a good change.
I still want to receive notifications, but now I only receive them when someone replies to me. It motivates me to think about what I’m going to say and ask more questions.
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Having the right doctor is a godsend in these types of situations.
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I did it too and it’s better.
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No way anyone is taking my likes from me!
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Someone told me they saw my message and now were going to deliberately withhold likes. Should I take this to the moderation thread?
I would tell you to punish them in kind but I know you’re too evolved for that pettiness so I will just say
