If you’re interested in the general public’s opinion, I’m pretty sure that’s a definitive, “Ew…no.” Citation: That Peep Show episode where Mark gets in trouble because of Dobby’s Facebook profile.
I’ve heard people get very angry about this actually. No consent and what not. The argument for the other side, I suppose, goes something like, “No harm, no foul”, which assumes you can’t be harmed by something that you are unaware of…which might be a dubious assumption.
How about this: The cops at a local precinct pass around photos of a woman who was in custody, while leering and what not. They don’t treat her or anyone else worse because of this and no one but them ever knows. No harm, no foul?
I don’t have any strong moral objection, but it sounds… fraught with peril. Both just in terms of possible consequences but I think also psychologically, particularly for people in monogamous relationships. What I mean is that, it seems like a bad idea to be in a relationship and actively cultivate attachments like this to other people. Provided that you’d like your existing relationship to succeed.
I don’t think that’s a perfect analogy as it assumes it’s being passed around in a public setting. My hypothetical assumes nobody knows other than the masturbator. This is where some interesting ambiguity lies. If for example, two friends where using a third friends Facebook photo to talk about how bad they want to have sex with them because they are so hot it seems like a bright line violation due to the inclusion of the third party.
I think it’s a little naive to assume monogamous partners are not attracted to other people and sometimes cultivate those attractions with harmless flirting and fantasy. Research suggests this is so ubiquitous as to be nearly universal. Therefore, that doesn’t seem like a strong counter argument.
This captures a very broad range of activity. Let’s say it’s some person you’re newly acquainted with and actively pursuing. Kind of hard to give a shit about. But if you’re making friend requests in hopes of finding stuff to beat off to, well, I don’t know that it’s wrong per se — I assume no pixels were harmed etc — but it doesn’t say anything nice about you. At the very least, you’d better fucking hope no-one ever finds out, and if people did, I don’t think any amount of talk about kink-shaming would dig you out of that hole.
If you put stuff out there for public consumption, you kind of lose the right to control how it is used.
I think it is ok/ethical to use their social media as a masturbatory aid, but it’s also ok if they get mad about it if they find out. Just because it’s ethical, that doesn’t mean they have to tolerate it.
I don’t think you’re wrong about what people actually do, I just think you’re underestimating the peril involved with their expectations of what people are supposed to do. Well, and I guess I’m somewhat convinced by the idea that sometimes we ought to push back against some our impulses for own good. Probably my religious background. But mostly the first thing.
