Is the pool boy alleging the relationship was abusive? I don’t get the issue.
Objectively it means practicing safe sex so you don’t literally leave them with STDs or pregnancy.
Subjectively it means just don’t damage them emotionally. Having some insight into the long term affects of your behavior.
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Your entire line of posting is prefaced on moving the goal posts so far to almost play the game you want. Nobody has been for outlawing relationships with large age gaps. No one has said every 20 year old is dumb. These are things you have brought up, to try to make your point agreeable.
People have rightly said that there is a large power dynamic in relationships with large age gaps and in the real world, they are largely predatory.
Maybe.
Or it implies that young people are fragile and need to be treated differently.
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The issue is you better be damn careful and precise with your language when discussing sexuality around @clovis8!
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Both your final points are objectively wrong. Period.
Do you have something to back up that they are largely predatory etc? Seems like something you just believe.
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That word choice might be slightly more aggressive than it needs to be, but if we’re still on a ~30 year age gap, it’s quite inherent.
Forum should read more /r/relationships imo.
Yeah, exactly this. There are different kinds of stupid. Plenty of 18yo guys can solve difficult math problems, but they’re also way more prone to doing impulsive shit without regard for the consequences of their actions than older guys who never could do the same math. Who’s dumber? I’m not really sure.
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Maybe the not sexist position is that any 20 year old/50 year old relationship is inappropriate regardless of sex/gender and your position is the sexist one because your tacit assumption is that a 50 year old woman can’t fuck up a 20 year old boy and your tacit assumption is that a 20 year old boy is a man.
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I never said the latter. Ever. I am not the one trying to draw large scale generalized assumptions about huge swaths of people.
basically you’re just saying there is a maturity gap but i think to Clovis point that is possible with all ages, sooooo where are you making the cutoff?
I’m going to explain what I meant earlier even though it’s not going to be well liked by the non-breeders. You don’t know what a 20 year old is because you don’t have children. Having been a 20 year old isn’t enough to cut it - looking back leaves you with a very warped picture. Having known some 20 year olds because they were your interns or something is also a very shallow picture.
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No one is trying to make a cut off because it isn’t important. I’m not trying to stop adults from doing anything, so I don’t need to cut anything off.
Would watch an episode of the sitcom where microdaughter brings home Clovis for dinner and he does the “technically its ephebophilia” line.
I don’t know how to be more clear.
Of course there are Ill-equipped 20 years olds, of both sexes, to be dating older people. Any people for that matter.
This all began with the idea that knowing nothing else we must assume a 50 year and a 20 year old dating is abusive or wrong somehow.
I am not the one appealing to generalizations. I am the one saying they are toxic and harmful, especially when applied to women.
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Microbet is clearly telling you that if his 20 year old kid started dating someone 50+, he would not assume it was a healthy relationship. You would.
Yeah, I’m telling you there’s no such thing as an ok 20 and 50 relationship. 25? Maybe. Suzzer and Lapka have both made fine points that there’s a big difference in a few years in this time of life.
You said something like you were shocked that someone would compare a 20 year old to a teenager. You know someone goes from teenager to 20 year old in an instant right? They are adjascent.
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+1 to the people being adult at 25ish and usually not at 20 argument.
Being legally able to drink, drive and fight in a war (probably simultaneously if you’re a US soldier abroad) is no sign of being emotionally developed.
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I have no idea what that means and how it relates to sex. Googling I found things like “no mechanized off-road activity”, “quiet partying only”, “dogs on leash only” and “maximum of 6 people per campsite”. I guess that makes kind of sense but would you mind explaining to me anyway?
Studies show that a brain isn’t fully developed until 25.
Before that, decision-making is pretty shitty among people. It’s why marriages between young people are more likely to lead to divorce than older people. So yeah, a 20 year old with a 50 year old is bad. But there’s a huge difference between 20 and 25.
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