I’m just as dumb now as I’ve ever been.
I gave a 19-year-old Brit a ride traveling in Costa Rica, then met his friends. Every single one of them knew more about not just world politics, but American politics - than most Americans of any age.
I had a weird moment when I looked at them and realized none of them were old enough to remember 9/11.
I mean I consider 20yo me pretty intelligent, but also that version of me was a self-described libertarian, sooo…
The point isn’t that there are not stupid 20 year olds but that not ALL 20 year olds are stupid. Absent any other reason than age to object to their relationship you are simply assuming all young women are too dumb to make an informed decision. That is textbook sexism.
I was a complete dipshit at 20. But if I had hooked up with Karen McCarthy I would never have considered it as her preying on me. Actually I was like 22 or 23 which is a big difference from 20.
My first sex was at 15 with a 19-year-old and I think it was the best possible arrangement because she showed me the ropes.
A simple check against a presumption about social behaviour is can you define the parameters. I see no way to do so in this case so it should make you seriously question the presumption.
Is 5 years an age gap, 10, 15, 20…?
How about an 18 and 25 year old versus a 50 and 57 year old?
Come on dude. This just isn’t how the real world works. We get it, you still want to be able to have sex with people half your age and not viewed poorly for it. That’s fine, you do you, but don’t make it another Clovis dies on the hill moment.
There is always a power dynamic imbalance when a 20 year old is with someone 50+. Being able to go to a bar when they can’t is an imbalance. Being old enough to have graduated college is an imbalance. Having 30+ more years of lived experience is an imbalance.
I’m not 20.
Anna Nicole Smith and her husband. Who had the power?
going to go with “neither” here.
I think this is generally true but probably not an absolute. Consider a 20 year old son of a white wealthy family and a 36 year old undocumented Latina that works for their family.
I’m pretty sick of the die on a hill idea. Do you say that when people are objecting to racism?
This site has a really weird tolerance for sexism and destructive ideas around sex. These ideas cause real harm, especially to women.
Also, seriously fuck you with the idea my position is based on some kind of idea I want to fuck young people. It’s yet another perfect example of how obviously toxic ideas around sex are ok on a forum which professes to be very progressive.
My position is based on the idea not all young women are child-like morons incapable of consent.
As I said yesterday the camp site rule always applies, especially if there is an age difference.
You can be sick of it all you want, but you have the most often and weirdest derails/meltdowns of anyone on this site. You really should understand this. You’re way too old to not be self aware about this.
“Dying on the hill” implies you’re doing something dumb for no reason, not something like saying “racism is bad.” The latter is not the kind of long multi day meltdown you have fwiw.
What is “camp site rules”?
Ooops I meant to type that in google.
Leave them better off than when you found them.
This entire post is prefaced on the idea sexism and toxic ideas about sex are ok and not worth fighting against.
What criteria are you using to measure if they are better off?
Seems like a vague and impossible to quantify standard.
It’s just a smartass way of saying “don’t be an asshole to the people you date”.
There’s nothing wrong with what Clovis has said on this topic. He’s 100% correct. Being older than someone does not confer a power imbalance and as clovis said campsite rule applies which if anyone doesn’t know is that you should leave it as good as you found it or better. I think people are misunderstanding what a power imbalance as it refers to a sexual relationship is. And yes as mosdef said there is plenty of other factors that could create a power imbalance regardless of age but straight up two people with one being 30 years older is fine, yes theres potential for the older one to hurt the younger if they are more mature, but same would apply for someone 2 years older thats a lot more mature, so Clovis point stands.
edit, my pony was late