Grab Bag Walrus - Reveal Thread

Sports & Other Games
1008

OK EVERYONE FIRST OF ALL DON’T PANIC!

I didn’t screw up. And if I did I meant to do it. And if I didn’t mean to do it, you deserved it.

NOW - go back and read my 8th place post, and 10th place. I’ll give you some time.

In theory we should be all correct now.

2 Likes
1009

I could have just pretended I meant to put those songs in that order and Trumped my way through this thing.

But the integrity of walrus is too important. I must fix all my mistakes. And all the ones I have yet to make. When I make them.

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1010

Then you won’t object to UN observers verifying the results.

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1011

I really do want everyone to watch the GWAR power ballad I linked in my GnR review. It’s so freaking awesome. That whole movie is just insane. When that video came on in the movie, me and my baked buddies were like - wtf is this? Then eventually we realized it’s a genius parody.

1012

Ok, I’m back from watching the GWAR video again. If you all promise me you also watched the GWAR video, we can proceed.

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1013

Mmmm mmm. Love me some Gwar. That was excellent Gwar Suzzer. Feel free to continue

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1014

Hahaha loving the drug-induced meltdown of law and order in this reveal. Have bookmarked that GWAR vid for the next time I am hyperbaked

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1015

In 6th place, scoring 6 in suzzer likability but a whopping 9 in category fit:

Your submission: Dead Milkmen - Bitchin’ Camero (1985)

Link to submission: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v3CzvQ9e_w

Any commentary (optional): I really hope to catch “Crystal Shit” on tour one day.

As the proud driver of my Mom’s definitely not bitchin’ 1978 Camaro with a 305 V8 and maybe 200 horsepower - in high school, I was pleased to see this song show up. But after a listen I remembered that like my Camaro, it’s really kinda boring. I did boost up an entire point for this exchange:

“My folks drove it up here from the Bahamas”

“You’re kidding?”

“I must be the Bahamas are islands…”

Fun Bitchin’ Camaro stories:

  • The only modification I ever did on that car was exhaust headers and extremely noisy glasspack mufflers. The headers maybe boosted it like 5 horsepower. I had a cam on layaway at Supershops, but never paid more than the initial deposit. The first time my mom had to drive it after the glasspacks, she drove it straight to the muffler store and had them put on regular mufflers.
  • I once got a ticket for going 67 in a 35, which I had to go to court for. Several people who went in front of me also had done bad things in Camaros. When I got up in front of the judge, he asked me, before even looking at the ticket: “What kind of Camaro do you drive?”
  • I sold that car to the kid down the street for $50 to hide from my mom the fact that I had run into a telephone pole driving not sober. First instruction - immediately remove front clip and she won’t be able to tell the bumper thing underneath is dented in. Eventually he left it on the street and it got towed. I was proud that it had dents on every panel, and he stripped it of pretty much everything useful, so the junkyard really got hosed. He never paid me the $50.

This song however pretty much nails the category fit. I didn’t give it a 10 only because the first part really isn’t a song.

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1016

I’ll take 6th place as I’m pretty sure the podium will just be a bunch of potential Elon Musk’s baby names.

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1017

Another Dead Milkmen song has two of my favorites jokes in a song ever:

"We went to the Philly Pizza Company and ordered some hot tea
The waitress said “well no, we only have it iced”
So we jumped up on the table and shouted anarchy"

And arguably the best rhyme in music history:

And security guards trailed us to a record shop
We asked for Mojo Nixon
They said he don’t work here
We said if you don’t got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin’

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1018

These next two songs tied in both categories. And even the tiebreaker is a nailbiter. It almost depends on the context.

1019

I might podium this. Already broke my record 6th place.

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1020

In 5th place, by just the tiniest whisker behind 4th, scoring 8 on suzzer likability and 8 on category fit:

  1. Eminem - Stan
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aSLZFdqwh7E

My first reaction was yeah, I get it, plot twist at the end. Ok middle of the pack. But I gave it a listen and remembered that I am a sucker for a great hook. I have tons of respect for eminem. Dude’s body of work is seriously impressive. He’s on heavy rotation at every gym and workout class thing I go to - and it’s GOOD music. This song is extremely well written.

The only reason it isn’t higher is it’s not quite to the level I’d want it in heavy rotation on my ipod. But every now and then it’s perfect. His song that riffs on Martika - Toy Soldiers could go in my heavy rotation, along with the actual Martika - Toy Soldiers, which is already there.

I just need him to do a riff on T’Pau - Heart and Soul next.

Category fit is good too. I’ll accept plot twist at the end since it’s in the spirit of the game.

2 Likes
1021

This is like the moment on the Miss America pageant - one of you just misses podium. The suspense is palpable.

1022

Really? It’s one of my favourite songs on the album. Oh shit, it might be tracklist ranking time.

  1. Nighttrain
  2. Welcome to the Jungle
  3. Rocket Queen
  4. My Michelle
  5. Think About You
  6. Sweet Child o’ Mine
  7. Mr. Brownstone
  8. Paradise City
  9. Anything Goes
  10. It’s So Easy
  11. You’re Crazy
  12. Out Ta Get Me

I hear what you’re saying about switching between rock and ballad - but it’s unique on Appetite and its position as an album closer accentuates the switch.

1 Like
1023

I’ll give you credit - it may have moved up to 3rd or so for me. I’ll always like Sweet Child o’ Mine at first - I’m a sucker for instant-classic anthems. I should go back and re-listen.

1024

Eminem was mine. Flabbergasted to finish so highly (shows how much the rest of you suck imo).

Is pauwl gunna podium???

2 Likes
1025

The album has aged really well imo, like better than any of their later stuff. It’s got a bluesiness to it that stops it from becoming too dated. I hope there’s a hard rock comeback at some point, The Kids These Days need less irony-poisoned stuff and more earnest rock songs about fucking and getting drunk.

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1026

In 4th place, narrowly edging out Stan, scoring 8 on suzzer likability and 8 on category fit:

Your submission: Title - Artist Bullet in the Head (Live) - Rage Against the Machine

Link to submission: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI677jYfKz0&list=RDfI677jYfKz0&start_radio=1&t=1

Any commentary (optional): This may not fit, but the way the band goes absolutely fucking nuts in the last minute of this song I think is so thematically different to the beginning that it fits.

I don’t have any funny RAtM stories - just that they’re really fucking good.

Ok wait… I do have one. My buddy was raised strict Mormon to the point where he’s been literally disowned by his family for leading a normal life. For his 40th bday we all got a karaoke room and had a Book of Mormon themed party. The last song of the night was Killing In the Name and he just belted out over and over “FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TOLD ME!” - clearly coming from some kind of cathartic place.

I know I’m not supposed to look at the video - but you had me at scratchy VHS aberrations and lead singer in a nerdy polo going absolutely apeshit.

The song does change into crazy mode, and yeah you could argue that’s kind of a RATM thing. But fuck you I won’t do what you told me - it gets an 8.

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1027

I had a big feeling when I saw Stan that this was next. Ill take it.

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