6th place = 8 points 
In 5th place with 9 points
Slick Rick - Childrenâs Story
Okay, story time first.
In the distant era of the mid-late 90s, the only way a kid in Israel could listen to music that was not played on the radio or on MTV Europe was stealing it on the interwebz. Sadly, Napstar wasnât invented yet, so the best way to get music was through sketchy channels on IRC. Many of you might know this, but itâs my reveal. One of the channels I used was named something like #00GoldenAgeHipHop00w4r3zL33t (I might have made up the last part).
You would get a list of songs from the bot, ask for it to be sent to you via DCC (direct client to client). You would then wait in a queue for an infinite amount of times until you get the send request and watch your internet fail 99% of the time. Rinse, repeat.
One of the first songs I can remember successfully downloading was Slick Rick. I didnât know the song or the artist, but the name sounded cool. None of my friends heard of it and it wasnât played on the radio ever, so for a few years I was sure I was the only teenager in the world who knows this guy.
So yeah, itâs a huge hit. Itâs been sampled a gazillion times. Probably used in an Ikea commercial or something. But I still love it and itâs still my song.
Unnecessarily long story aside, Slick Rickâs flow is unmatched. The lyrics are decent and while the subject is more serious than it appears, the humor is everywhere. He even produced it himself.
This is what I considered the only story telling song. I get that others view their picks differently.
5 Likes
I, for one, appreciate âStorytime with Yuvâ. I remember IRC being a pretty good resource in the early days of âacquiringâ mp3âs.
Also, Rick gotz him some flow.
1 Like
In 4th place with 10 points
Smog - Dress sexy at my funeral
Smog is one of those artists people always tell me I really need to listen to. I nod, make a note of it and never ever do for absolutely no good reason.
Humor isnât always really easy to define, especially when not in pure comedy form. The situation of a dying man asking his wife to showboat herself and his life for his funeral is brilliant in my opinionâŚ
The melody and delivery are great and as much as I want to hate on nearly 6 minutes songs, I didnât notice it after the first time.
Dress sexy at my funeral my good wife
And when it comes your turn to speak before the crowd
Tell them about the time we did it
On the beach with fireworks above us
This isnât the type of music Iâm drawn to usually, but if the rest of Smogâs stuff are as good, I will definitely say that iâll listen to it and probably never do again cause thereâs Top Chef on TV or something.
Just narrowly missing the podium.
2 Likes
Thatâs me. You should listen to Smog (and Bill Callahan, as he goes by these days).
1 Like
As I said (i think), it was really a 4-place podium to me. We donât have one built yet, but you can stand there proudly
3 Likes
In 3rd place with 11 points
Modern Lovers - Pablo Picasso
How good is this song? It was covered by John Cale, David Bowie and Iggy Pop. Thatâs a good sign.
As mentioned by the submitter, this was produced by Cale and heavily influenced by The Velvet Underground. Then again, who wasnât?
The lyrics are great, but I could have listened to this song all day even if they werenât. Itâs a perfect example of somewhat of a âcomedy songâ that can stand on its own, even 50 years after it was written.
And while I canât really prove it, I got a feeling this song was pretty influential for many bands I liked growing up that used a lot of humor. If itâs King Missile on one end or even The Descendants and many others on the other, I think you can find direct or indirect effects of this track.
Well he was only 5â3"
But girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not in New York
Great pick, havenât listened to this probably since the Bowie cover came out.
2 Likes
Ive just finished a zoom pub quiz night and Iâm still in, yay!
2 Likes
Iâm glad you liked it. I like how this category is turning out.
1 Like
Itâs down to me and you, Swanky old chap!
1 Like
In 2nd place with 12 points
John Cooper Clarke - Evidently Chickentown
This is an amazing poem that I would have memorized to death at 16 if I knew it.
I can pick any line to quote here and it will be (bloody) brilliant. I chose this clever opener to the 5th verse, but you really should listen/read it on your own if youâre unfamiliar:
The bloody pies are bloody old
The bloody chips are bloody cold
The bloody beer is bloody flat
The bloody flats have bloody rats
The pace and rhythm with which he delivers those lines over the new-wavey eerie beats is hypnotizing. This should be the anthem for bored angry kids in the suburbs (granted, Iâm not sure what âchickentownâ means. I took it more as a cowtown in the US).
I only later realized this was on the Sopranos so it might be more well known than I thought. Either way, Iâm a big fan. Also a testament to how fucking good the Sopranos were.
3 Likes
And hereâs the scene from the Sopranos which I totally forgot about:
I really thought Chickentwon was Jalfrezi. Congrats to both.
1 Like
Boom! It is with some jubilation that I tell you my submission is yet to be revealed.
3 Likes
And the curse works. Congrats to Seities
1 Like
In 1st place with 13 points
Dream Warriors - Wash your face in my sink
Okay, how did I miss this gem? I blame it on them being Canadian and therefore invisible to the rest of the world.
Somewhere in high-school I discovered that girls arenât very interested in hearing my stories about how Crass are actually anarchists who live in abandoned buildings. For a few very fun months I moved my musical interests from angry punks to late 80s early 90s âjazz-rapâ or whatever you wanna call it.
I downloaded all the a tribe called quest, de la soul, arrested development, jurassic 5, pharcyde, digable planets, brand nubian I could find online.
Turns out it wasnât the musicâs fault.
I donât know if âWash your face in my sinkâ is a Canadian saying, but it really should be. I think they mean it in a âmind your own businessâ way or maybe musical plagiarism, either way itâs really a good catchphrase.
Loved every second of this. The jazzy sample at the beginning sounded almost âskaâ to me. The delivery is perfect and humorous as fuck (even the way he says âwhen doves cryâ or âyou just canât reachâ). The cute twist on the last verse.
A great song from start to finish.
Iâm not sure the person who sent it thought it would win, but he did write - âI think this captures the spirit of your categoryâ. It sure did. Congratulations on a well deserved win, you actually undersold the track in your commentary.
3 Likes
Congrats to jalferzi, SwankyWilder (I seem to be digging your musical choices) and seities.
After 4 reveals we only have 2 unique winners. Who would have thought.
2 Likes
No shame in losing to folk like The Modern Lovers and the great Mancunian John Cooper Clark. Thanks for the reveal. I hope seities doesnât get too big for this Walrus now, though, we need the organisation.
3 Likes
Great reveal Yuv. Enjoyed your write-ups and very happy you enjoyed my selection.
Iâve been rather Walrus-obsessed since I joined this forum and I think up until now the best I have managed is one 3rd place in a category, so I am pretty surprised to have notched up two wins so far.
4 Likes
