Of course people with relatively normal families can’t imagine cutting off family members. Toxic people rely on that to guilt their family members and manipulate them into desired behaviors. Fuck that.
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this one?
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Yea I’m going to take offense at this. I gave my brother a chance to come here and maybe thinking he might learn something, he’s the one that signed up with heritagenothate and decided to troll from the beginning, fuck that.
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Yeah… A lot of people need to know that saying “but he/she is your mother/father/sibling and they love you even if they aren’t perfect…” is a more-than-micro aggression in quite a few cases. In my experience people who had really good childhoods simply can’t wrap their heads around what it would be like to have a terrible one, and get really defensive and uncomfortable about accepting the idea that a core family relationship like that could be shattered beyond repair.
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From one person to the next, life-experience and literal consciousness have to be inexpressibly different.
The estrangement between wireless and bro, me and one of my brothers… shit, my Dad who’s the most tactful, goodhearted guy I know, and in his early 70s, just had to endure some stupid, hurtful allegation from his sister. she’s a woman that has worked at Harvard for years, attended white tie functions in Europe, think she might’ve been recognized for some honor or something.
life is too complex. the frameworks society has in place are almost miraculous. turn it all upside down, you’ll get insanity, chaos, balkanization.
if only the boomers died off, more AOCs, better judges, yadda yadda.
the most tranquil modern society has a turbulent past, and isn’t invulnerable tomorrow
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Yeppp. There’s a reason why I comment about some people in my life and not others.
Like I said I don’t recommend ex-ing out folks but if it needs to get done it has to get done. And it obviously doesn’t have to be, nor should it be strictly politics-adjacent.
I agree with you both.
I’m sympathetic to leaving excommunication as a last option, but to that point, that’s what people ITT are saying. They’ve tried everything else. The relationship is robbing them of peace. I don’t want anyone to be so fickle that they cut and run at the soonest difficult difference, but you’ve got to know when to walk away, too.
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This is very self reinforcing as well, because people are socially pressured not to talk about family conflict, and then they’ll start to feel shame about actual family conflict, so they hide it promoting the idea that it’s rare.
I certainly wasn’t intending to offend anyone. Personally, I would’ve been offended by comments like “This has to be the dumbest human being I’ve ever encountered.” Defending your brother, at that point, would’ve been your best shot at getting him to actually change his mind.
que?
Man, really gonna need a definiton on “relatively normal family.” That is a massive assumption.
I did have a good childhood. My parents sacrificed everything so that we would.
If I had a shitty (or even a meh) relationship with my mother prior to Trump, she wouldn’t be in my life.
My father’s untimely death allows me the privilege of not knowing him as the deplorable he’d be if he was alive today. I never got to know about his flaws as a person because I didn’t get to know him as an adult. Because of that, his image in my mind is untarnished.
That said, I do have some extended family members who I’ve cut out for just being outright horrible people. They are, of course, deplorables. I’m sure there are terrible people out there who are left-wing. I haven’t met them though.
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He’s still welcome to come debate here, all he had to do
then or now was come here in good faith and argue in good faith. He didn’t do that.
It’s only fair that I mention that I’ve been watching my dad deteriorate after “beating” pancreatic cancer. He’s hooked on fox news. It sickens me to the core but I realized that the anger was eating me up.
I can’t speak for your brother but my Dad’s inability to see through the lies is somewhat understandable in hindsight. He didn’t have his mom or dad and was passed around between family members until the age of 7. Grew up in dirt poor Arkansas. Picked cotton. Was raised by his granny who did things like rub his nose in his sheets if he wet the bed.
He’s a self made man, without a doubt. If youre familiar with the song “God Bless The Child” he is the living embodiment of someone who became everything he never had.
It’s why his mind can only stretch so far. It’s why hes amazingly stubborn. I know, at least in some part, people like this are reticent to recognize intelligence since on some level deep down they feel cheated out of the option to have been an “intellectual” themselves.
Are you guys able to interact without discussing politics? My older brother is a deplorable but he is pretty well adjusted and laid back.
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Yea my brother doesn’t have any leeway there like what you describe above. We probably can interact, once i get past this for a bit I’m sure we can interact fine at family gatherings, which wont be for some time due to covid. At this point though i have a really hard time not thinking about things he’s said when i think about him etc.
It’s tough. Time and space are reverting things into the tribalistic binaries that underpin existence
I’ve had thoughts lately of cutting off anyone who pullls the Trump lever twice. Just doesn’t work that way tho. Keep reminding myself that everything in life is a battle and you have to be willing to accept some pain if you really want change.
My issues weren’t political. Just the midwestern attitude that I should drop everything every holiday to go have a ham meal for an hour and hear the same jokes I’ve heard since I was 6 years old. If I decided to go snowboarding or to a girlfriend’s place for the holiday it was a guilt trip the whole time up to the holiday and then a guilt trip on how I better be at the next holiday or I don’t love/appreciate my family. Fuck that shit. My other relatives being Trump douchebags hasn’t helped though.
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I almost couldn’t believe this was real, so I did some Googling and found this NPR article from 2014.
It sounds like there are a few well-meaning people there, but Harrison, Arkansas is still going on my “will not visit under any circumstances” list.
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A meme my mother copied. Came close to responding but held back because she’s too lazy to read. The antivaxxer stuff tilted me briefly.
I never dreamed that I would have to face the prospect of not living in the United States of America, at least not the one I have known all my life. I have never wished to live anywhere else. This is my home and I was privileged to be born here.
But today I woke up and as I had my morning coffee I realized that everything is about to change. No matter how I vote, no matter what I say, something evil has invaded our nation, and our lives are never going to be the same. I have been confused by the hostility of family and friends. I look at people I have known all my life so filled with hate that they will agree with opinions that if the were in their right minds they would never express as their own. It’s absolutely unbelievable. I think that I may well have entered the Twilight Zone…then I saw this and I think that it’s pretty close to describing how I feel.
I’m not starting a fight, but it is something to think about. This may open up a ton of outraged comments by some. Many who will argue how “wrong” this post is. My suggestion, save your time and effort! You’re not changing the reality of what we are living by trying to somehow justify this insanity. Nevertheless, I couldn’t resist because we are becoming the Twilight Zone. We have become a nation that has lost its collective mind!
• If a dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.
• Somehow it’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.
• Russians influencing our elections are bad, but illegals voting in our elections are good.
• It was cool for Joe Biden to “blackmail” the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it.
• Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote.
• People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.
• Inflammatory rhetoric is outrageous, but harassing people in restaurants is virtuous.
• People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for their degrees.
• Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated, or your child is vaccinated or they cannot attend school.
• Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate gang-bangers who jump the southern fence are welcome.
• $5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care is not.
• If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.
• People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.
• We see other countries going Socialist (a rebranded word for Communist) and collapsing, but it seems like a great plan to some of you.
• Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.
• Criminals are catch-and-released to hurt more people, but stopping them is bad because it’s a violation of THEIR rights.
•People waving American flags at peaceful freedom rallies are considered dangerous and violent white nationalists who must be stopped yet anarchists burn, loot, and deface property while burning the American flag are powerful youth exercising their first amendment rights.
• And pointing out all this hypocrisy somehow makes us “racists”?!
Nothing makes sense anymore, no values, no morals, no civility and people are dying of a Chinese virus, but it racist to refer to it as Chinese even though it began in China. Thank goodness it has a 99% plus survival rate, but they are trying to continence us otherwise. We are clearly living in an upside down world where right is wrong and wrong is right, where moral is immoral and immoral is moral, where good is evil and evil is good, where killing murderers is wrong, but killing innocent babies is right, where darkness is light and light is now darkness.
Wake up America, the great unsinkable ship Titanic America has hit an iceberg, is taking on water and sinking fast. There’s only one life boat that can save you, and that is Jesus Christ. You can either get in or go down with the ship into the deep dark sea of eternal death. The choice is yours to make. What will it be? Time is short, make your choice wisely!
Not my words but very accurate and disturbing!
Feel free to copy and paste. I did!
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