I didn’t read any rules so if we’re throwing old 1st posts onto the same type threads please edit as necessary.
I was born and raised in a rural/suburban town that’s 95+% white and catholic (like lots of other New England towns). Needless to say it was VERY conservative. So I was conservative. My mom even sent me to catholic school from K-8. In the 7th grade we had to write a paper about our faith. Even though I had a 40 year olds understanding of the new testament I never found god there.
When given the option by my mom, I jumped at the chance to go to the local public high school (for the girls mostly if we’re being honest). And then public university. I ended up out kicking my coverage and marrying an awesome Jewish chick which as one could imagine caused a bunch of controversy (on hers and my side).
So I’ve been dealing with “deplorable” before it was cool. I’ve got family/friends/locals when I’m back in that hometown that don’t balk at saying the “N” word around me. I’ve heard it my entire life about “them” having all “my money” as well.
From the antisemitism to the straight N-word using racists I’ve learned the best way to deal with that shit is head on. Make them uncomfortable. Call them out. I have ruined many a family gathering by addressing it assertively. The really fun situations happened when someone used a Jewish slur around me, not knowing about my then gf now wife. They got put in their place when learning my wife’s grandmother was born in the early 1920s and put in a concentration camp who still has the tattoo on her left forearm (still alive at 98 years young). I can discuss them for those interested.
Now, some folk are just plain ignorant. For example, many years ago, I told my mother when I was in college I was dating a Jewish chick and she’d be coming to our family’s Thanksgiving. “Does she/her family celebrate thanksgiving” was the response.
Coolerwifey and my mom now have a closer relationship than I do now with my mom. Freaking text all day every day with each other. So there are success stories.
I’ve posted on the other place about some interactions but luckily I haven’t had to have any awkward conversations with family or close friends in a while due to being direct with them years ago. It doesn’t stop some of them from expressing their feelings. But if/when it does come up, my advice is just face it head-on. For 99% it’s not going to change their position on politics but I think it’s something that simply needs to be done.
*(I would love if i could add a footnote here to just lay out that the majority of my family/friends are not terrible even though this post makes it seem like it.)