I didn’t read any rules so if we’re throwing old 1st posts onto the same type threads please edit as necessary.
I was born and raised in a rural/suburban town that’s 95+% white and catholic (like lots of other New England towns). Needless to say it was VERY conservative. So I was conservative. My mom even sent me to catholic school from K-8. In the 7th grade we had to write a paper about our faith. Even though I had a 40 year olds understanding of the new testament I never found god there.
When given the option by my mom, I jumped at the chance to go to the local public high school (for the girls mostly if we’re being honest). And then public university. I ended up out kicking my coverage and marrying an awesome Jewish chick which as one could imagine caused a bunch of controversy (on hers and my side).
So I’ve been dealing with “deplorable” before it was cool. I’ve got family/friends/locals when I’m back in that hometown that don’t balk at saying the “N” word around me. I’ve heard it my entire life about “them” having all “my money” as well.
From the antisemitism to the straight N-word using racists I’ve learned the best way to deal with that shit is head on. Make them uncomfortable. Call them out. I have ruined many a family gathering by addressing it assertively. The really fun situations happened when someone used a Jewish slur around me, not knowing about my then gf now wife. They got put in their place when learning my wife’s grandmother was born in the early 1920s and put in a concentration camp who still has the tattoo on her left forearm (still alive at 98 years young). I can discuss them for those interested.
Now, some folk are just plain ignorant. For example, many years ago, I told my mother when I was in college I was dating a Jewish chick and she’d be coming to our family’s Thanksgiving. “Does she/her family celebrate thanksgiving” was the response.
Facepalm.
Coolerwifey and my mom now have a closer relationship than I do now with my mom. Freaking text all day every day with each other. So there are success stories.
I’ve posted on the other place about some interactions but luckily I haven’t had to have any awkward conversations with family or close friends in a while due to being direct with them years ago. It doesn’t stop some of them from expressing their feelings. But if/when it does come up, my advice is just face it head-on. For 99% it’s not going to change their position on politics but I think it’s something that simply needs to be done.
*(I would love if i could add a footnote here to just lay out that the majority of my family/friends are not terrible even though this post makes it seem like it.)
Yea, same here. It was the day of the Parkland shooting. I used to live near the school about 10 years ago and would walk by it all the time. It was Valentine’s Day too LOL. She told me to get out of the country if I didn’t support the 2A. I’ve always wondered how many couples broke up that night. I can’t have been the only one.
If you need the job, I’d laugh it off. It’s better to pick your battles and I’m not sure that’s a battle worth picking. You can always make a mental note for future occurrences.
But if you give zero fucks, yea call him out on it.
I grew up in a town comparable to OP’s in the Midwest.
Back for a visit 40 years on, visiting with a HS friend, his wife started yapping about fags. I had to say something, so I said if any of my kids were gay, I would not want them ostracized. That worked – we moved to another topic.
Point being that although OP’s confrontation is good, sometimes there are softer, more effective responses – if we can come up with them in the moment.
Yeah, this is the City and man are there a lot of ■■■■■ everywhere.
To nobody’s surprise, “Billy”'s racism only became super-obvious after the 2016 referendum result, obviously feeling somewhat vindicated in his bigotry. He’d make a good case study for sociology students.
i don’t talk to a few kids i was friends with in lawschool anymore because of blow-up type arguments over deplorable stuff. one got real into the IDW and peterson youtubez, another is real “bootstrappy” even though his parents had a plane while he was growing up…
Wow @ripdog I’m so sorry about your situation. Alzheimers is a tough break. Hopefully your dad doesn’t cut you out of the will due to political differences. I was extremely opposite to my dad politically but somehow we still managed to get along ok. I think my dad probably did moderate himself a little when I was around though as I was extremely vocal if I disagreed with him. Having a sense of humour helps, I’d just take the mickey out of him and then things would move on. If it helps any, no inheritance was withheld from me due to my political leanings so I wouldn’t write your dad off yet, he clearly wants contact with you and to be a bit closer.
sorry to hear about your dad. alzheimer’s/dementia is a bitch. my grandmother had alzheimer’s and my father passed away last year from parkinson’s and dementia.
i would advise you to tell your mom to quickly learn to do all the finances if she doesn’t already. for my boomer mom it came as a shock as she had never done them and it was pretty brutal. my dad fell quickly into writing checks for hundreds of dollars to random churches he saw on tv or infomercial people. thankfully i caught most of them and was able to stop payment on the ones that were already sent.(my mother had no idea you could call the bank to stop payment on checks)…
with the way the republican party is now, they will be grifted HEAVILY if people find out.
Tough break ripdog. My mother is 84 and the body is going before the mind, but you never know. Old people with dementia can be brutal to caregivers. Getting the stepmom to prepare herself would be a kindness.
Ron White is just fine, don’t let the blue collar character fool you.