Coronavirus (COVID-19)

He’s thinking, “Is that a boy or girl virus?”

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Looks like my 6-month-old nephew staring at a pinwheel.

Happy for you. Glad you got it to work.

I’m sure all will fully comply.

He’s thinking “jesus, how do people not see this thing coming? Its huge! I’ll just tell people not to touch a carana virus when they see one and the crisis is solved.”

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The pro move is to buy 3-ply; then you take 2 rolls and remove 1 ply from each and then combine those and BOOM you’ve got 3 rolls of 2-ply for the price of 2 rolls of 3-ply

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People here have gone insane over toilet paper for some reason. Police were called to a dispute between two shoppers over it in western Sydney yesterday. I don’t get it.

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If they cancel it they gotta refund the money.

If they keep it as scheduled, then even if 90% of the vendors and guests don’t show up, they don’t have to refund the money.

Remember, they have a fiduciary responsibility to the corporation and its shareholders.

Chances he thinks thats too scale? 50%?

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Isn’t self quarantine why people move to Westchester County in the first place?

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https://twitter.com/latimes/status/1235327076300967936?s=20

Those N95 handkerchiefs are useless

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image

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Toilet crisps

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https://twitter.com/RepMattGaetz/status/1235309294146539520?s=20

Gaetz is a mortal lock to have posted pictures of his food somewhere on social media within the last week.

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Toilet pudding

Not the silk paisley ones.

I want to see a neurologist analyze an MRI of Gaetz’s brain.

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My Dad: freaking out

Me: sends him some price-gouged masks and hand sanitizer off Amazon but repeatedly tells him that I don’t trust these guys and it may not come

My Mom: I have some hand sanitizer I could bring your dad

My Dad: No I’ll just wait for it to arrive on Amazon

Me: @#)$@#)

My Dad: freaking out that stuff hasn’t arrived yet