I appreciate your input but a couple things: 1) im not basing it off this convo only 2)I get what you are saying but I’m not sure just letting his anti-gay, anti-trans, racist shit go is the best move. I mean i have other family that isn’t doing this shit and i have friends as well, seems easier to spend time with people that aren’t like that. Society should shame these people through words and actions, not just let it go.
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True.
But all human beings need others to believe in them when no one else will. Humans rarely respond positively when they perceive rocks to be thrown at them. Pick your battles wisely. I believe that till the day I am 6 feet under.
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I don’t think he’s interested in changing his friend or at least didn’t say he was. He just said he was fine with whatever the guy said because he was always there for him.
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if you have a goal to change hearts, even gently over a long period of time, i dont see it as wrong. If not im not so sure…
People can change.
There was shunning.
Ive known a lot of bigots. Seen a few change most not. Id never stop trying though and i dont consider trying to change them and speaking out against the bigotry they express coddling.
I already spoke to that.
People that love you can be bigots. It is even possible to love people that are bigots. I loved my grandpa and never heard him say anything racist but I heard stories from others that he was racist.
I guess the question is are people capable of reforming their beliefs and if so what is the best way to achieve that goal.
Coddling their beliefs is not the way to go. I’m not sure what the best way to approach it is though.
I know people inside my circle I will call out directly. It has led me to lose a few friendships over the years.
No it’s not terrifying.
The guy has mellowed out. Got rid of his confederate flag. Married someone that is a minority. Has a family, is responsible and doesn’t say or do stupid shit anymore.
Absolutely terrifying. Is this what the internet told me would happen?
People deep down won’t like you at all if every interaction with them you are judgemental about them. They will see right through you that your interactions with them aren’t genuine. Every flaw about them needs to be outed, shunned, and critiqued? Give me a break.
My dad has been calling for Chinese eradication for decades. Also one of the most selfless humans I’ve ever seen helping whomever (even Chinese) that needs help. Should just have arguments with my dad every time right?
Your world view on humans and life is based off too much internet.
Good luck with it.
Trump supporters were so mad in 2016 that people were calling them racist and nazis online, claiming everyone is being too PC and judgmental about different beliefs. The last few years it’s been shown that yes trump supporters are racist and have a lot of nazis in their ranks which has caused countless lost lives since electing a racist evil piece of shit.
And oh man racists won’t like me if I’m judgmental about them? The horror
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I’m better than you because I’m friends with racists is a new hot take I’ve never seen before.
You know there is always the alternative to make new friends that aren’t racist.
You can be judgmental with respect to racism, without being judgmental with respect to all aspects and accepting of most flaws (just not racism, etc.).
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This is insane. Of course you should argue with him every time.
It is not normal to advocate genocide. Like if you’re saying “my dad makes racist jokes” or “my dad is scared of visiting cities” then whatever. Make your relationship work. But holy shit you have multiple people in your closest circle who want to slaughter entire races of people.
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but what if this guy will always be there when you need him?
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BUT FAAAAAAAAAAMILY
My best friend “Tony” (not real name) is an Italian-American who lived his childhood in Yonkers, NY and his teens in Ohio. I met him when I was teaching his Psych 102 class at OSU, although we were the same age. My first notice of him is when I called on him during a discussion of sales techniques, and he caught himself in mid-phrase about to say “…Jew him down.”
I got to know him better when he was one of the few students who joined me in a non-mandatory field trip to observe a faith healing scaminar.
Although he received a final grade of “D+,” we ended up becoming friends and hanging out a lot, even though he tended to make racial jokes.
After all of these years, his views have softened. For years now he’s been genuinely saddened and pissed off about cops killing black people (“Man, they’re such pussies”), and I would bet money he’s going to vote for Biden (especially since he voted for Hillary), if not for a straight Dem ticket.
At times he still slips around me. A couple of years ago he made a pretty racist joke when we were at a ballgame, and I just shook my head at him. He dropped it and didn’t say anything else racist the rest of the day.
While I wish Tony was able to further tamp down his racist leanings, the fact that he votes Dem and seems to want POC to have fully equal rights allows me to justify keeping him as a friend.
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Posted in the police thread a few days ago
“While our focus will always be on faithfully reflecting the real-world usage of a word, not on promoting any particular viewpoint, we have concluded that omitting any mention of the systemic aspects of racism promotes a certain viewpoint in itself,” he said. “It also does a disservice to readers of all races.”
Mr. Sokolowski said the revision will sharpen the language in the second section to better illustrate the ways racism can be systemic, and to include some examples. The point, he said, was to make the entry’s wording less “opaque.”
“We will make the idea of systemic or institutional racism even more explicit in the wording of the definition,” he said. One way to do that, he said, would be to use more examples, such as describing the system of apartheid in South Africa.
Unfortunately, racists will no longer be able to quote the first part of an archaic definition of racism to prove they do not fit every possible trait of racism, therefore they can discard responsibility for the racist impact of their actions entirely.
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Nobody here on the internet that agrees with you, cares about you.
Did you brother gas jews and didn’t tell us about it?
A lot of people made bad decisions in their life (and they are sitting in jail today) that need inspiration to do better in their life. Even some murderers sitting in jail today deserve a second chance some way some how.
You can try to find the next way to humiliate your bro. I am willing to bet that method will get you nowhere. But at least you tried right, and you can report back to this forum to get internet brownie points. The only way to convert people is to lead by example and inspire them, not make them feel that they are beneath you.
The hitler pic was a reference to apparently multiple people in your circle advocating genocide and you’re just like eh this is fine, hes a fine guy. I don’t think my bro has been humiliated, he doesnt really seem to feel shame like trump. If i need a new therapist though I’ll make sure to hit you up.
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My dad had a very harsh life.
Last time he saw his mother and father was when he was 11 years old. Was sent to USA to be with his step-brothers when the French war in Vietnam was happening in Vietnam. His step brothers mentally abused him and humiliated him often. 50 years later he comes back to visit them and is only looking at their grave stones.
He carries a lot of sadness and pain in his heart. When he says dumb things its really the talk of that immature 11 year old boy that was thrown into the wild on his own. My dad disowned me a few times because I argued with him to be “right”. I always came back to say “dad what you need help with?”.
Maybe your brother has a lot less excuses to say jackass shit. My opinion is that the only way to change him is to lead by example and one day inspire him to be better.