It’s weird, I’ve had a lot of friends who have lived extremely traumatic and difficult lives and I’ve never heard them wish genocide on people or be racist as fuck and if they had I still wouldn’t excuse that shit lol
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When everyone on the internet thinks you’re wrong, maybe its time for some introspection.
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If I had a friend that told me they fantasized about murdering people I’d be pretty freaked out that I’m friends with some sort of serial killer psychopath. I don’t think I’d want to be friends with them after that. But if they told me they fantasized about murdering millions of people of a specific race or ethnicity, well that’s just a political opinion and I’d be childish to let it affect our relationship.
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Many of my relatives and oldest friends are fundamentalist christians. If you live in USA#19, you are most likely interacting with people of that ilk on a daily basis. They believe that god will condemn billions of people to eternal torture and damnation(infinite genocide), and that those people will have brought that fate upon themselves. They also believe that the genocides recorded in the old testament were justified because god commanded it.
These are horrific beliefs, full stop. However, I am still friends and family with them. Should I be talking shit to them about their beliefs every day? Does anyone talk shit to their fundamentalist friends and family whenever they interact with them?
My initial reactions to danby’s posts were WTF!!! But at least his father’s words seem to come from a place where he was hurt and damaged as a child, and I can feel empathy for his experience.
I’ve said in this thread, or maybe the deplorable one, that i give more of a pass to people that are older and my parents. 1) My parents raised me, I feel I owe them for that at least. 2) Older folks have a lifetime possibly of thinking a certain way, not to say they can’t be changed. People like my brother though and other young people, come on, you grew up in a different world, and should be more accepting as most young people are.
No one owes their parents for raising them, that is literally the minimum responsibility of being a parent.
Being old is not an excuse for being deplorable. When they say “this is just how I am” you say “well this is just how am: you can be racist, or you can have me in your life, you pick.”
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Is there a specific reason why he hates Chinese people specifically?
I understand what your thought process is and I am sympathetic to your view. I think it’s easy to condemn and harder to try to reform and change peoples minds.
Wishing genocide on a group of people is extreme though.
you’re not wrong
This hits on the issue I’m having. If my friends and family say racist, homophobic, or sexist shit they get put on blast immediately, and then cut off if it persists.
But if they believe and say that billions of people deserve eternal damnation, well then I push back on their beliefs, but I’ve yet to cut anybody off just because they are fundamentalist christians.
Perhaps I should. But I haven’t. And that makes me pause and instrospect when my first reaction is to “wtf danby, lol gtfo”
lexicon updated
So you are a conservative. You don’t give a shit about his words or actions as long as it doesn’t DIRECTLY impact you. And you get pissy when others point out the bullshit…
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Just creating a market for a Deplortionary. Actually, that’s a solid idea, didn’t thousands of these people buy a blank book (I forget what that was about but I’m pretty sure it happened).
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It is all a game to them. They stand for nothing but to oppose liberals.
This is a perfect example. He will cheer on the death of a murder victim to stick it to dirty libs.
It is gross. Maybe one day your brother will man up and become his own person.
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You need to stop turning a blind eye to fundamentally bad people.
Being for you is not a free pass to being an extremely hateful racist and bigot. That you keep him as a friend is a you problem.
I have a couple of extremely close friends. We would do anything for each other. However they are not racist pieces of ship,
If you can not advocate for what’s right in your personal relationships, you sure as hell aren’t going to be able to do it in any wider context.
Maybe the threat of losing a good friend because of his abhorrent and hateful views would be a wake up call. Stop coddling all you racist friends and family.
If you can’t stand up to your friend about what he is saying and doing when it is harmful and hateful, you are part of the problem.
You really should analyze how you ended up having such a close relationship with a despicable person. If he has always said stuff that set off alarms, then you are wholly responsible for continuing to nurture that relationship.
I don’t have any horrible racist friends as people with those opinions always got weeded out.
If your friend was fine then one day flipped you should work even harder to get him back on track. Just not sure. Why you think your behavior here is the least bit admirable.
As human beings we have a limited amount of energy to invest in relationships with people. You should not be wasting that precious resource on bad people. Friends or family? It does not matter.
You should not stand muted and silent in the face of overwhelming hatred and racism.
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I haven’t even followed half this convo but just wondering if he’d say something that would possibly get you in a fight when out in public seems like a good enough reason to say something. That’s not even considering you should say something so he doesn’t get his ass beat.
That you nurtured that relationship into adulthood is pretty telling about you.
You knew he was a hateful racist and you continued to try and be as close with him as possible.
That is a weird thing to do for anyone who does not identify as racist.
“My best friend has been by my side through thick and thin. Family deaths and illnesses, going to jail, being homeless, yeah he has raped a woman every few years since the age of 13 but that is no reason to not be his best friend. I can’t allow for him raping women to interfere with my personal relationship
with him. He has always been a stand up guy and supper supportive and always there for me. Plus I didn’t even know any of them women he has raped.”
Lol u
Yeah they won’t be changed by other people. They have to change on their own.
If they realize they were a hateful piece of shit and change, they will run and thank you for letting them know the truth.
If they don’t really change they will remain mad at you forever.
Saying nothing / coddling is the wrong path 100% of the tim3.
I feel a little bad for Danby and maybe I am going to hard on him.
It seems he has grown up in an extremely racist and hateful environment while not developing those same beliefs. Having to stand up to that hatred would cause him to loose a huge portion of his support network, his friends and family,
So given your situation, I do not advocate that you just shut off yourself from all the racists around you. That would likely be too overwhelming.
But you can stand up to your father every time he says he wants to eradicate the Chinese and tell him he is wrong. Do it every time anyone around you is racist. You are not choosing to end things because of their racism but you will not let it go unchallenged.
Some of them will end their relationship with you for doing this. These are the extraordinarily bad ones that you should then totally avoid,
The ones that allow for you to share you opposition to their racist behavior at least have a chance.
So start there. Consistently challenge racist statements and actions by friends and family, I think you will find some of them do not value the relationship as much as you do.
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That’s racist!
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The difference is going to hell is not a real thing, it is just make believe in their head.
The bigger issue with FCs are their believes that directly lead to people being harmed. I wouldn’t cut anyone off for being religious or believing in fairy tales. If they spout hateful rhetoric, I will call it out regardless of their religious beliefs.
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