Cruz was definitely on my list. What a world we live in where Ted fucking Cruz didn’t make the top 50 assholes, my lord.
Hmmmm, I wonder what asshole said that?
1 Like
Are we done with the 5th round and going FFA?
Maintain ORDAH
1 Like
I’m just going to keep swinging away.
This asshole got started early:
-
In 1970, College Republican ASSHOLE stole letterhead from the Illinois Democratic campaign of Alan Dixon, and used it to invite hundreds of people to Dixon’s new headquarters opening, promising “free beer, free food, girls and a good time for nothing,” disrupting the event.
-
In 1986, while working for Texas Republican gubernatorial hopeful William Clements, ASSHOLE claimed that his personal office had been bugged, most likely by the campaign of incumbent Democratic Gov. Mark White. Nothing was proved, but the negative press, weeks before the election, helped Rove’s man win a narrow victory. FBI agent Greg Rampton removed the bug, disrupting any attempt to properly investigate who planted it.
-
When ASSHOLE advised on George W. Bush’s 1994 race for governor of Texas against Democratic incumbent Ann Richards, a persistent whisper campaign in conservative East Texas wrongly suggested that Richards was a lesbian. According to Texas journalist Lou Dubose: "No one ever traced the character assassination to ASSHOLE. Yet no one doubts that ASSHOLE was behind it.
-
After John McCain thumped George W. Bush in the 2000 New Hampshire primary, with 48 percent of the vote to Bush’s 30 percent, a massive smear campaign was launched in South Carolina, a key battleground. TV attack ads from third groups and anonymous fliers circulated, variously suggesting that McCain’s experience as a prisoner of war in Vietnam left him mentally scarred with an uncontrollable temper, that his wife, Cindy, abused drugs and that he had an African-American “love child.” In fact, the McCains adopted their daughter Bridget from a Bangladesh orphanage run by Mother Teresa.
-
According to the investigation of Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, ASSHOLE played a central role in the outing of undercover CIA operative Valerie Plame to columnist Robert Novak and former Time magazine reporter Matthew Cooper, in retaliation for her husband Joe Wilson’s accusation that the Bush administration falsely claimed that Saddam Hussein sought uranium in Niger.
-
ASSHOLE got a bunch of gay marriage initiatives on state ballots in 2004 to drive turnout and defeat John Kerry.
-
ASSHOLE was integral to the Iraq was lie factory.
Karl Rove, come on down. You’re an asshole.
(On his third wife)
10 Likes
I was surprised that Asshole didn’t go earlier.
Free for all now?
This asshole member of the Freedom Caucus, lol, was a big supporter of Cliven Bundy’s fight with the BLM while simultaneously saying that his position on immigration was based on “following the rules” and America being a nation of laws. He gets a 0% from NARAL, and another 0 from The Humane Society - this jerk is against the Endangered Species Act. He boycotted Pope Francis’ visit to the US on the grounds that the Pope was espousing socialist principles. He doesn’t believe in global warming. He tweeted a doctored photo of President Obama with the President of Iran, then called people dim-witted for not getting his joke. He accused the FBI and Justice Department of treason.
But ultimately, how big of an asshole do you have to be for six of your siblings to appear in a series of television commercials for your political opponent?
Yep, it’s Paul Gosar.
4 Likes
My spite pick is The Baseball Writers Association of America.
Hey, assholes! Your entire league was fucking RIDDLED with steroids from 1990-2005. Get the fuck over it and put Bonds and Clemens in the hall.
Fucking assholes.
3 Likes
If we’re doing the spite round I’m going for Tom Rutledge, CEO of Charter Cable. Second biggest complaint after how ridiculously fucking expensive it is would all the fucking junk mail they send and commercials they air advertising to their own customers. Motherfucker I pay you every god damn month, I already know what services you have available.
2 Likes
Rudy Giuliani
Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Jesse Watters
Bush administration assholes are tremendously underrepresented. These dudes killed like 2 million people once you add in all the deaths from the reverberations throughout the middle east. ISIS, Syrian war, all that shit.
David Frum
George Bush (!)
John Bolton
Paul Wolfowitz
Colin Powell
Then you’ve got neocon cheerleaders like Bill Kristol. And their “liberal” counterparts like Professional Wrong Person Jon Chait. Nearly as enthusiastic about invading Iraq as the neocon ghouls, but then you get subjected to narcissistic retrospective pieces like “what I got wrong about the Iraq War” in like 2009. Fuck you man, you’ll get it wrong next time too. You’re always wrong.
3 Likes
People I considered taking:
Kenneth Starr
James Dolan
O.J. Simpson
Hillary Clinton
Bill Clinton
Larry Nassar
Jeff Skilling
Jim Simons
Joe Ricketts
Curt Schilling
That Austrailian Mining Heiress Asshole
Bernie Ecclestone
Jho Low
Najib
Rahm Emanuel
Ari Emanuel
Tom Perez
Betsy DeVos
Lloyd Blankfein
Ivanka Trump
Robert Mercer
Sumner Redstone
Ken Langone
Peter Thiel
Ken Griffin
Warren Stephens
Steve Wynn
Paul Singer
Susan Collins
John Cornyn
So many assholes out there.
3 Likes
Peter Thiel bankrupting Gawker out of spite is very good asshole draft material.
Can we edit the draft so that was at least the #2 pick?
ROGER GOODELL
VICTOR ORBAN
BORIS JOHNSON
Jesus, Bill Barr. Jeff Sessions. James Comey. My brain can’t stop the flood of assholes.
My spite pick:
Fuck you, voters of South Carolina for giving CPR to Joe Biden’s candidacy.
3 Likes
Elon Musk
Isabel dos Santos
Elizabeth Holmes
1 Like
I know there are a lot of angry atheists on this board…
1 Like
Kinda disappointed no one went with him.
2 Likes