very common on rockets, the payload often needs to be wider than the rocket diameter.
Very well played after the Vince pick. I laughed.
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Some pretty obvious low-hanging but tempting fruit I will be sad to see escape all five rounds just for how delicious theyād be.
Letās say everyone gets a sixth pick just for spite. Make it fun.
Goddammit, I got sniped on Vince.
Iām about to start work, so no time for a writeup at the moment, but Iāll take Stephen Miller. @Riverman is up for two.
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All right, so Iāve got two filthy rich assholes buying terrible policy. Now I need someone to implement said terrible policy. Someone without pesky things like scruplesā¦moralsā¦a conscienceā¦a soulless ghoul who lives to make lives utterly miserable for people he deems inferior to himself and his āinā group.
Enter Stephen Miller.
This immigrant-hater, David Duke Twitter follower and āC-plus Santa Monica fascistā (tm Jon Lovett) has been at the centre of some of the very worst abuses of the Trump regime, and is responsible for an unknowable number of deaths. The Muslim travel ban? Thatās Miller. Child separation at the border? All Miller. Every white nationalist speech Trump has ever given? Written by Stephen Miller.
He is thoroughly convinced that foreigners are evil and dirty, and he will do anything to convince people of it. He lied that foreigners were responsible for Trump losing the popular vote because hordes of them were voting illegally. He had Kyjrstyjn Neilsen forced out as DHS secretary because she wasnāt quite as evil as Miller wanted her to be. He had an HHS study that showed that immigrants were a net economic positive (by over sixty billion dollars) spiked, because, well, just LOOK at them, that canāt be right!
And, of course, he had the unmitigated gall to suggest that the Emma Lazarusā āThe New Colossusā, inscribed at the base of the Statue of Liberty as a welcome to immigrants, was meaningless because it wasnāt added to the Statue until well after it was erected. Fucking tool.
And lest anyone think there was some traumatic event that changed the course of his life for the worseā¦no, he came out of the womb as an asshole. Stories abound from his high school days ā like the time he told a classmate they could no longer be friends because the classmate was Latino. Or the time he complained about having to pick up his own trash while running for student council, because donāt you know thatās what janitors are there for? Or, most hilariously damning, the time he jumped into the last leg of a womenās track race to āproveā male superiority.
Still not convinced? Just look at the guy. Heās 31 in this picture! Being a dead-eyed Nazi clearly ages you in dog years.
True Northern Assholes:
Rupert Murdoch
Charles Koch
Stephen Miller
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With most of the obvious dictators and genocidal maniacs off the board, time to diversify the squad (something this individual would almost certainly not approve of).
After a middling career as a GOP political appointee, this individual was tapped by George H. W. Bush to replace Thurgood Marshall on the Supreme Court despite having been a judge for less than 2 years.
Clarence Thomas
During confirmation hearings, a young subordinate made very credible allegations of sexual harassment. Anita Hillās words below:
- āHe spoke about ā¦ such matters as women having sex with animals and films showing group sex or rape scenes,ā she said, adding that on several occasions Thomas graphically described āhis own sexual prowessā and the details of his anatomy.Hill also recounted an instance in which Thomas examined a can of Coke on his desk and asked, āWho has put pubic hair on my Coke?ā
The accused responded:
- āThis is not an opportunity to talk about difficult matters privately or in a closed environment. This is a circus. Itās a national disgrace. And from my standpoint, as a black American, as far as Iām concerned it is a high-tech lynching for uppity blacks who in any way deign to think for themselves, to do for themselves, to have different ideas, and it is a message that unless you kowtow to an old order, this is what will happen to you. You will be lynched, destroyed, caricatured by a committee of the U.S. Senate rather than hung from a tree.ā
Hill later passed a polygraph, but was nevertheless interrogated harshly by UNDRAFTED U.S. Senator who led the judiciary committee. Our man ultimately squeaked through 52-48.
Since taking the bench, Clarence Thomas has consistently trampled on the poor and the non-white in favor of the wealthy, corporations and The Republican Party.
I could walk through the individual cases but just know that on every pivotal issue of the past 30 years, Clarence Thomas has been wrong. Money in politics, voting rights, womenās rights, guns, executive power, the rights of criminal defendants, police power, racial equality (of course), you name it.
Scumbag.
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Riverman is killing it.
Finally.
Picking Chucklesslovakian is bold outside-the-box thinking. Looking forward to your write-up.
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| Player | Round 1 | Round 2 | Round 3 | Round 4 | Round 5 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| superbooger | Donald Trump | Jair Bolsonaro | Kim Jong-un | Undrafted | Undrafted |
| chuckles | Mitch McConnell | Newt Gingrich | Bashar al-Assad | Undrafted | Undrafted |
| Matt | Sean Hannity | Marsha Blackburn | Rodrigo Duterte | Undrafted | Undrafted |
| zikzak | Richard Sackler | Mohammed bin Salman | Pat Robertson | Undrafted | Undrafted |
| hokie | Steve Bannon | Aung San Suu Kyi | Jeff Bezos | Undrafted | Undrafted |
| NotBruceZ | Ronald Ernest Paul | Benjamin Netanyahu | Vince McMahon | Undrafted | Undrafted |
| LFS | Dick Cheney | Rush Limbaugh | Omar al-Bashir | Undrafted | Undrafted |
| TimBuktuuf | Goatse | Sepp Blatter | Isaiah Gregg | Undrafted | Undrafted |
| TrueNorth32 | Rupert Murdoch | Charles Koch | Stephen Miller | Undrafted | Undrafted |
| Riverman | Henry Kissinger | Vladimir Putin | Clarence Thomas | Undrafted | Undrafted |
Or after the fifth round we can each just post our lists. There are a shitload of real fucking assholes out there.
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I like the 6th round spite pick idea. Someone not really worth a pick because there is little chance that others are thinking of that person, but fuck it, you want him/her on your team.
Then post the list.
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Weāre admittedly going a little off the rails with this pick, for a guy who is likely to be available when the snake comes back around. But ultimately, he is not a Mr. Irrelevant level scumbag. His record deserves a more salient place in the proceedings.
For many years, this individual was known only for his acting. His show, which I have admittedly never watched (or forget if I ever did) was quite popular. After making a fortune in the entertainment business, he gained attention for his political speeches, and later, his predatory, criminal sexual behavior. Of course, weāre talking about none other than:
Bill Cosby
Lets kick things off with what is now known as āThe Pound Cake Speech,ā given on the 50th anniversary of Brown v. Board. Take it away Wikipedia:
-
Looking at the incarcerated, these are not political criminals. These are people going around stealing Coca-Cola. People getting shot in the back of the head over a piece of pound cake! And then we all run out and are outraged, āThe cops shouldnāt have shot him.ā What the hell was he doing with the pound cake in his hand? I wanted a piece of pound cake just as bad as anybody else, and I looked at it and I had no money. And something called parenting said, āIf you get caught with it youāre going to embarrass your mother.ā Not āYouāre going to get your butt kicked.ā No. āYouāre going to embarrass your family.ā
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When you want to clear your neighborhood out, first thing you do is go get the Black Muslims, bean pies and all. And your neighborhood is then clear. We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they donāt know a damned thing about Africa. With names like Shaniqua, Shaligua, Mohammed and all that crap and all of them are in jail.
Interesting take, Bill.
Of course, the real reason for this pick is his history as a criminal. Thereās a very lengthy Wiki on this, but the summary is that he assaulted more than 50 women (probably way more) STARTING IN 1965.
He is completely unapologetic.
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Wow nice pick 
Iām going to take the guy whoāll for sure never make it back around to me over the guy I really want.
Speaking of high-profile unapologetic rapists and ruiners of womenās livesā¦say hello to:
Harvey Weinstein
We donāt really need a rehashing of everything here given how fresh it is. Hereās an excellent timeline:
Dozens of sexual assaults, harrassment to the extreme, hush money, intimidation on a grand scaleā¦this guy is a fucking monster and I am quite satisfied with his fate.
EDIT: Even Jeffrey Epstein was like GTFO:
@TimBuktuuf is up.
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He might die of COVID-19 (and thus be ineligible) by the time it gets back to you.
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Excellent point.
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Riverman I think we have the same list. The Cos was definitely next for me.