The main problem is the incessant back and forth imo and not the "fuck off"s, but are you doing this just to try to prove your case that you are being unfairly modded?
Youāre reading too much into it. Thereās a bunch of whinging ā ā ā ā ā from across the pond who act like they are in an episode of Real Housewives of Aberdeen. The solution is either they learn to scroll past perceived slight moderation injustices or they fuck right off.
I donāt know what to do here.
In my view, the posters most mired in this drama demonstrate a compulsive relationship with violence. And then when you encounter a boundary against that violence, you punch all the harder. You may use your words instead of your fists, but itās just as horrifying to me.
I donāt know why you choose to treat each other with such cruelty. You choose words and phrases that to me appear designed to persuade by inflicting pain. Believing youāre justified makes no difference to me. Your behavior scares me all the same.
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Lesser-spotted unironic āThis is violence, to meā.
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In a court of law, you have to actually show evidence to even get in the door. āFuck youā is the appropriate response to this sort of baseless character assassination.
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Yes? Iām in that group. But the existence of group 3 is completely irrelevant to my question, no? Like, there are people here who love spaghetti, too. Wfc?
While there might be no proof, itās impossible for there to be any proof of something like this, and the absence of any denial on his part going back years is all I need.
Youāre so biased youāre a complete abomination of a mod. Kindly shove your self-importance up your hubristic arse and fuck off back to the cesspit of 22 where you belong.
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Edit: I see some mods may have posted while I was typing so some of this may be a little off and I think we have a short edit window ITT now so disclaimer attached while I still can.
Of course you did. Watevs took a temp ban and you immediately brought the jman stuff back up again. You canāt get over the fact that you got a ban for telling a mod to fuck off, and jman had the restraint to shut up and not get banned. You canāt stop dragging up that he was wrong about something and calling him a liar when, if I recall correctly, he already admitted he was wrong and corrected it.
You just canāt let it go and youāve convinced yourself itās some great injustice that must be righted, so you must bring it up at every opportunity. Grow up, youāre acting like a child.
You can try to tell me what to do but I donāt see it working out for you.
I didnāt, deal with it.
Classic jalfrezi behavior. Has no evidence of his allegations, gets called out for it and has nowhere factual to go with his line of attack, so he just doubles down and starts escalating with some āfuck offsā and more baseless allegations of racist behavior.
I flag the post and see that someone else already flagged it and a mod has already approved it as meeting the community standard. @moderators seem content to ignore the communityās prior vote for more moderation and let jalfrezi continue to drag this stuff up and escalate it with more baseless personal attacks on postersā character. So I guess thatās the community we are going to be. I donāt blame them, it was a close vote and the yays are mostly lukewarm and the nays are trolling and attacking left and right to get their way. Itās definitely easier to just let it slide and avoid dishing out moderation and punishment that leads to another meltdown from this crew and another drama bomb, and most of the forum doesnāt care that much.
Basically jalfrezi is the absolute GOAT troll. Heās skilled as fuck, and has a lot of this community not seeing it for what it isā¦ But thatās what it is. His posting history is to pick a few targets and poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, until he gets the fight he wants. Then when itās over he waits a couple weeks and again starts to poke, poke, pokeā¦ Heās good enough at it that the community doesnāt recognize that itās almost always him starting it and itās a really high percentage of his posting.
But hey, go wild @Jalfrezi @churchill @marty @fidgetUK there are clearly not going to be any ramifications for you four dragging up old stuff at every opportunity and telling those of us you donāt like to fuck off anytime you please and using words that are offensive to a huge percentage of the forum. Have a blast! Play all your hits. Encore! Encore! Encore!
At this point Iām going to be deeply disappointed if I see any posts from these four that donāt include a random old personal attack against jman, myself, or the mods, and/or a few c-bombs. You fellas have successfully worked the refs and clearly have free reign, and thatās clearly the posting style and tone you want to deploy. Enjoy!
Starting to think that the various āgo fuck yourselfā posts arenāt helping.
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I canāt believe you wasted your one post per hour on that.
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Seriously.
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All cops are bastards but not so much with prosecutors who help perpetuate a system with racism ingrained in itā¦
Bait not taken, sorry
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Unacceptable.
You know he left that system, right?
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Iām about to go all Oprah up in here.
Seriously. Iām a very hands off mod. RiskyFlush is doing good work trying to reason with all of you, and Iāve watched and been patient and tried to stay hands off. That is rapidly coming to an end.
If you all donāt knock it off:
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I am not surprised if the people who most exhibit what I see as a compulsive relationship with violence do not see or experience their actions as violent. What most surprises me is those of you who are informed your actions are having a violent impact AND THEN REFUSE TO STOP.
This is as much to our moderators as it is to every other poster. Does consent not matter to you? Of course it does. If it doesnāt, you have a bigger problem than any of us are prepared to accomodate.
So please choose a behavior that shows you care about the consent of the person youāre jousting with. When they tell you STOP, we are a community that expects you to stop.
And as a poster who cares about each of you experiencing harm, if you are the one experiencing or witnessing harm, consider simply telling these people to STOP. I have included a document at the bottom with suggestions for how to say this in a way that does not require you to engage in equally violent behavior just to defend yourself.
IF YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE TELLING THEM (or they refuse) TO STOP
Use the flag feature. Contact the mod team or a mod you trust. If you don't trust anyone on the mod team, we need to have a discussion about what would help us build trust with you.
I stay out of the drama as much as I can, but I personally extend a listening ear as a fellow human and a moderator. I donāt need to fix your problem in order to offer you support and help you figure out a path forward.
LANGUAGE MEANS MANY THINGS TO MANY PEOPLE
I get it. Some of you use language in your everyday lives that means something totally different. Iām not asking for you to change your entire life and identity. Just to please adjust your behavior within the very specific confines of Unstuck Politics. This is no different than you choosing to wear boxing gloves at your next match but leave them at home for your wedding (unless your bride consented to gloves up during your vows).
When you post here, explore more considerate means of discourse in how you express your feelings, experiences, and boundaries.
If consent, boundaries, and kindness donāt matter that much to you, there is no need for you to feel ashamed or at all inclined to change.
JUST PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.
As a moderator, I will persist in encouraging you to do so. This will include moderating you and enforcing boundaries for the health and safety of our community and the members that populate that community. We want you to be a member of this community, but not if you refuse to show kindness to someone when they say the words with which you chose to express yourself hurt them.
WHO IS WELCOME HERE
(IN MY VIEW)
In my view, people who refuse to acknowledge when their actions hurt people despite their best intentions are not welcome at Unstuck Politics.
In my view, people who are told their actions are having a harmful impact on their fellow poster(s) and refuse to stop are not welcome at Unstuck Politics.
Either work with us to explore a more productive means of discourse or please leave. If you do not leave, you will continue to encounter boundaries/moderation when you refuse to acknowledge and adapt to the harmful impact of your actions. You will continue to encounter boundaries/moderation when you refuse to stop hurting that person. If you are a mod engaging in these behaviors, I will ask you to stop or leave as well.
There are no hard and fast rules here. It is something you may need to negotiate on a case-by-case basis because we are all (most?) of us humans who grow and change and evolve and experience things outside the forum that we then try to process at Unstuck together. Just keep your ear open if someone asks you to listen.
If we do not hold kindness and healthy boundaries as essential values that guide our discourse with each other, we will fall prey to the same dysfunction as every other community we have eventually found fault with and abandoned. Take a second to see the forest for the trees.
I hold myself to the same standard and extend the same courtesy of kindness and healthy boundaries to any of you who would like a better relationship with me and the rest of the Unstuck community.
IN CLOSING (thank Christ)
As you know, I follow pacifism and what most of you would consider non-intervention. This is just a description of the experiences and values that will be guiding my decisions going forward as a moderator.
My primary domain here is our Arts & Entertainment forum. That will continue to be my main area, though you may see more of me elsewhere as I try to be of greater service to this community and the mod team.
BONUS:
For those of you struggling to express and respond to healthy boundaries, this is a document that has helped me immensely. I hope it helps you even 1% as much as it has helped me.
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Prolly no oneās noticed but in the last few weeks Iāve reduced my consumption of this site by about 95% and it is because of petty stupid squabbles like the ones going on in here.
I donāt even know the context or what anyone is really even going on about other than Iām utterly convinced every single player in it is wrong in some way, and yāall need to stfu and chill out.
The way this has been going, I think I may rehome my blog on my own site and bid this shit farewell. I can hardly open any thread without seeing some dumb reference to drama i know nothing about and could not possibly care less about either.
This served as a great outlet for me at one point but Iām so not wanting to associate with any of this.
Yea i know i know i shouldnt announce it and just fuck off, but I wanted to say it anyway.
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Marty, Iāve always liked you, and I would hate to see you leave.
However, if you canāt accept that the language used in a Belfast pub is not always appropriate in an international politics group then maybe you need to go find a community where you and the other Euros can use the C-word to your heartās content.
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