Bait not taken, sorry
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Unacceptable.
You know he left that system, right?
1 Like
I’m about to go all Oprah up in here.
Seriously. I’m a very hands off mod. RiskyFlush is doing good work trying to reason with all of you, and I’ve watched and been patient and tried to stay hands off. That is rapidly coming to an end.
If you all don’t knock it off:
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I am not surprised if the people who most exhibit what I see as a compulsive relationship with violence do not see or experience their actions as violent. What most surprises me is those of you who are informed your actions are having a violent impact AND THEN REFUSE TO STOP.
This is as much to our moderators as it is to every other poster. Does consent not matter to you? Of course it does. If it doesn’t, you have a bigger problem than any of us are prepared to accomodate.
So please choose a behavior that shows you care about the consent of the person you’re jousting with. When they tell you STOP, we are a community that expects you to stop.
And as a poster who cares about each of you experiencing harm, if you are the one experiencing or witnessing harm, consider simply telling these people to STOP. I have included a document at the bottom with suggestions for how to say this in a way that does not require you to engage in equally violent behavior just to defend yourself.
IF YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE TELLING THEM (or they refuse) TO STOP
Use the flag feature. Contact the mod team or a mod you trust. If you don't trust anyone on the mod team, we need to have a discussion about what would help us build trust with you.
I stay out of the drama as much as I can, but I personally extend a listening ear as a fellow human and a moderator. I don’t need to fix your problem in order to offer you support and help you figure out a path forward.
LANGUAGE MEANS MANY THINGS TO MANY PEOPLE
I get it. Some of you use language in your everyday lives that means something totally different. I’m not asking for you to change your entire life and identity. Just to please adjust your behavior within the very specific confines of Unstuck Politics. This is no different than you choosing to wear boxing gloves at your next match but leave them at home for your wedding (unless your bride consented to gloves up during your vows).
When you post here, explore more considerate means of discourse in how you express your feelings, experiences, and boundaries.
If consent, boundaries, and kindness don’t matter that much to you, there is no need for you to feel ashamed or at all inclined to change.
JUST PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.
As a moderator, I will persist in encouraging you to do so. This will include moderating you and enforcing boundaries for the health and safety of our community and the members that populate that community. We want you to be a member of this community, but not if you refuse to show kindness to someone when they say the words with which you chose to express yourself hurt them.
WHO IS WELCOME HERE
(IN MY VIEW)
In my view, people who refuse to acknowledge when their actions hurt people despite their best intentions are not welcome at Unstuck Politics.
In my view, people who are told their actions are having a harmful impact on their fellow poster(s) and refuse to stop are not welcome at Unstuck Politics.
Either work with us to explore a more productive means of discourse or please leave. If you do not leave, you will continue to encounter boundaries/moderation when you refuse to acknowledge and adapt to the harmful impact of your actions. You will continue to encounter boundaries/moderation when you refuse to stop hurting that person. If you are a mod engaging in these behaviors, I will ask you to stop or leave as well.
There are no hard and fast rules here. It is something you may need to negotiate on a case-by-case basis because we are all (most?) of us humans who grow and change and evolve and experience things outside the forum that we then try to process at Unstuck together. Just keep your ear open if someone asks you to listen.
If we do not hold kindness and healthy boundaries as essential values that guide our discourse with each other, we will fall prey to the same dysfunction as every other community we have eventually found fault with and abandoned. Take a second to see the forest for the trees.
I hold myself to the same standard and extend the same courtesy of kindness and healthy boundaries to any of you who would like a better relationship with me and the rest of the Unstuck community.
IN CLOSING (thank Christ)
As you know, I follow pacifism and what most of you would consider non-intervention. This is just a description of the experiences and values that will be guiding my decisions going forward as a moderator.
My primary domain here is our Arts & Entertainment forum. That will continue to be my main area, though you may see more of me elsewhere as I try to be of greater service to this community and the mod team.
BONUS:
For those of you struggling to express and respond to healthy boundaries, this is a document that has helped me immensely. I hope it helps you even 1% as much as it has helped me.
13 Likes
Prolly no one’s noticed but in the last few weeks I’ve reduced my consumption of this site by about 95% and it is because of petty stupid squabbles like the ones going on in here.
I don’t even know the context or what anyone is really even going on about other than I’m utterly convinced every single player in it is wrong in some way, and y’all need to stfu and chill out.
The way this has been going, I think I may rehome my blog on my own site and bid this shit farewell. I can hardly open any thread without seeing some dumb reference to drama i know nothing about and could not possibly care less about either.
This served as a great outlet for me at one point but I’m so not wanting to associate with any of this.
Yea i know i know i shouldnt announce it and just fuck off, but I wanted to say it anyway.
10 Likes
Marty, I’ve always liked you, and I would hate to see you leave.
However, if you can’t accept that the language used in a Belfast pub is not always appropriate in an international politics group then maybe you need to go find a community where you and the other Euros can use the C-word to your heart’s content.
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I’ve stopped getting excited when I see a thread has 100+ new replies because I know it’s some dumbass back and forth fight about nothing I’m going to have to scroll through to see if anything worthwhile was posted.
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What the fuck is happening in here? Jesus Christ.
A lot of you need need hobbies if you really think that constant petty fights are worth this much of your time. Go learn a new language or something. You could even let all of us know if there is a cool equivalent for ■■■■ in Hindi or whatever.
At the very least, can we keep the petty fighting contained to one thread only? It’s embarrassing enough here.
This post is completely fucked and I know it’s completely fucked because I saw the intent of the message before it got edited to something that wouldn’t deserve a hearty “FUCK YOU” in response to it. I’d ask you to delete it but it already got two likes from mods (one prior to the edit, one after), so you win. But to be clear, I think you’re a fucking prick and you’re going on ignore.
2 Likes
You really are a snob.
I mean
This is an incredibly bad post that reeks of a sense of superiority. Would you care to edit it?
Honestly, how has this conversation not been banished to the hidden forum yet?
My thoughts exactly. Instead, I have to spend too much time dealing with this crap.
Here’s where I am:
- I, and probably the majority of posters on this site, seriously can’t even remember the original beef everyone had with each other. Like the Hatfields and McCoys, this has gone from a specific complaint to an outright feud, the source of which has been lost to the annals of time and 28574596738 posts.
NO THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO REHASH THE ORIGINAL FIGHT! If you do it, I will delete it. That’s not a threat, it’s a promise. It annoys me that I even have to say this.
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Like the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s neighbors, every other poster on this forum is now worried about catching a stray bullet when the feud turns hot.
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Every single party involved really needs to learn to read a room. Also, read Risky’s post above.
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I cannot keep up with every multi-thousand post thread on this forum, but if this keeps spilling out into the more “serious” threads and I do see it, I will become more heavy-handed, with or without flagging.
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As for flagging, if you are one of the bystanders to this feud and you see it crop up in threads where I don’t have a presence, feel free to flag the posts or PM me directly.
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Yes, I am willing to take one for the team and be the bad cop here if Risky’s approach doesn’t work.
6 Likes
Airing of Grievances can be a productive exercise, especially if well-contained in space and time. Many people desire their grievances to be “heard” and don’t really expect them to be “resolved”. With that as a framework it seems clear that grievances have definitely been heard (often repeatedly) and it is probably time to move on.
Thanks much to RiskyFlush and skydiver8 and everyone else who has posted their thoughts on how best to move forward from where we are both as individuals and as a community.
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Back where I am from, we settled these things with a little game called Survivor.
If you are not familiar, a thread is created with a poll. Two users are in this poll. The loser is voted off the island. The users can make any case they wish for themselves (or against the other) but the community’s choice is final.
Yeah.
But the reality is, when he was in a system which has racism at its core, it’s going to be hard to avoid being a part of that racism.
So asking for evidence a former prosecutor, who was in a inherently racist system, has some responsibility for it seems messed up.
Now maybe that is the reason he quit idk. And if so good on him. But if it was then I think he would agree he bears some of that burden when he was one.
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That was not the claim, though. Jal didn’t merely accuse jman of being having participated in a tainted system. He specifically claimed jman pushed for harsher sentences for Black people based on nothing but his imagination and animus towards jman.
tl;dr
Have nfi who the Hatfields and McCoys are/were. Something Trekkie related?
Please can you ditch the implicit assumption of cultural hegemony and use examples that the whole forum can understand?
Thank you.
And you’ll obviously end up with an island full of Americans. Maybe that’s what people here want. Banning all the Brits has already been suggested in another thread.
Maybe just rename the forum UnstuckUS so we all know where we stand and no one joins without understanding what it’s about.
As a representative of a racist criminal justice system, pushing for harsher sentences than would have been fair, sure. Are you arguing that wasn’t what he had to do in that role? Are you arguing that’s not how the US criminal justice system dispenses “justice” to ethnic minorities?
Stop twisting my words around and start recognising your own biases ffs.
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Can I get a 48 hour self ban please?
Hmm…I don’t see an option for anything between tomorrow and next week or a custom time frame. Tomorrow ok?
eta: Well, I did it for a day. I’m racking up those bans.