My issue is that she’s dressing it up with some sort of profundity, but the fact is that she simply had an anxiety disorder which prevented her from behaving normally sexually. There’s no lesson or deeper meaning to her inability to have healthy sex until age 40+, it’s that she had problems. Rather than owning that, she’s still trying to cast those problems as some sort of beneficial learning experience.
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Yeah… like I don’t even expect that of her, it just seems narcissistic to write a fucking op ed pretending that there’s something for other people to learn here other than “don’t be horrifically sexually repressed”.
An anxiety disorder is only part of it I think.
I told him that, considering his world title, he could finish the job himself. I left feeling empowered.
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Personally I like that I’ve gotten to enjoy the entire arc of my sexual fitness from youthful jackrabbit all the way down to scared turtle. If I just started now I’d have missed out on something.
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I couldn’t get through the whole article.
The two highlights for me were:
and the impressive lists of boyfriends she had:
That’s like the list of romantic interests the female lead in a long-running tv show accrues.
“I SWEAR I’M NOT A FEMCEL JUST A STRONG POWERFUL WOMAN! OH AND RICH.”
It’s the 14th of February, USA. (It’s the 15th here). I present to you the thinking of Rainer Rilke (1875-1926) on relationships:
All companionship can consist only in the strengthening of two neighboring solitudes, whereas everything that one is wont to call giving oneself is by nature harmful to companionship: for when a person abandons himself, he is no longer anything, and when two people both give themselves up in order to come close to each other, there is no longer any ground beneath them and their being together is a continual falling… Once there is disunity between them, the confusion grows with every day; neither of the two has anything unbroken, pure, and unspoiled about him any longer… They who wanted to do each other good are now handling one another in an imperious and intolerant manner, and in the struggle somehow to get out of their untenable and unbearable state of confusion, they commit the greatest fault that can happen to human relationships: they become impatient. They hurry to a conclusion; to come, as they believe, to a final decision, they try once and for all to establish their relationship, whose surprising changes have frightened them, in order to remain the same now and “forever” (as they say).
He put it more succinctly about marriage as follows:
The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust.
Happy Valentine’s.
Rainer Rilke was obviously never dragged around curtain shopping.
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I’m in quite a blissful relationship right now, so I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.
Those Bohemian poets had it easy: all they had to contend with was poverty, destitution and an early painful death from TB.
They didn’t even have to write op-eds on “Was Dying Of TB At 40 Worth It?”
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I’m guessing the relationship with Stripclub Bouncer was particularly brief
I bet they were almost all one date and done. Look at that list. Who has time for all that?
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I don’t think I would ever date a virgin. My needs are… complicated
For sure not a 41 year old virgin
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Plus when someone is a late in life virgin, there is usually either:
- Religion at play (hard no for me)
- Severe past abuse (sorry, I’m really not the right guy to help you work through that)
- Severely idealistic views on sex and love (I am a misanthrope that thinks love is just oxytocin acting on pleasure centers in the brain)
She seems like #3.
Oh you are probably thinking of religious girl. Yea, she was nice but it was obvious after a few weeks that there’s no way I could deal with it. I learned my lesson on that one.
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