Winter 2021 LC Thread—I Want Sous Vide

I think maybe you just made a typo. It’s -ense not -ese. The -ese just sounded way off to me.

1 Like

Any of y’all heard of leasing a motherfucking dog?

So when the lease expires you can either return it or pay it off and keep it?

Only if you get it groomed on a regular schedule and return it with a shiny clean coat. Otherwise you might have to pay a penalty.

2 Likes

Of course. This ain’t Nam. There are rules.

No, but when I saw the name Zipdog on our dog food can cover, I invented it. Perfect for the 3-4 weeks a year we want to have a dog.

Yes this is 100% accurate. Seems like the latest private equity fever dream spin-off that I had somehow not heard of until today:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-03-01/i-m-renting-a-dog

The Sabins had bought their new dog, Tucker, with financing offered at the pet store through a company called Wags Lending, which assigned the contract to an Oceanside, California-based firm that collects on consumer debt. But when Dawn tracked down a customer service rep at that firm, Monterey Financial Services Inc., she learned she didn’t own the dog after all.

“I asked them: ‘How in the heck can I owe $5,800 when I bought the dog for $2,400?’ They told me, ‘You’re not financing the dog, you’re leasing.’ ‘You mean to tell me I’m renting a dog?’ And they were like, ‘Yeah.’ ”

Without quite realizing it, the Sabins had agreed to make 34 monthly lease payments of $165.06, after which they had the right to buy the dog for about two months’ rent. Miss a payment, and the lender could take back the dog. If Tucker ran away or chased the proverbial fire truck all the way to doggy heaven, the Sabins would be on the hook for an early repayment charge.

Get your surprised Pikachus ready:

“When I take a good hard look at what the world will be like in 10 years, I think most things are going to be on lease,” said Dusty Wunderlich, chief executive officer of Bristlecone Holdings LLC, the Reno, Nevada-based company that operates Wags Lending.

He’s drawn to the rugged individualism expressed in the novels of Ayn Rand and the blog Cowboy Ethics, but he hastens to argue that while he profits off high-cost lending, he’s also improving the lives of subprime borrowers. He is, he writes in a mission statement on his personal website, “living in a Postmodern culture while maintaining my old American West roots and Christian values.”

Anyone who buys a dog instead of just adopting a mutt from the pound deserves to get fucked by finance bros so this seems like a good thing imo

7 Likes

Nobody owns a dog…if they have any sense, they lease from Zipdog!

1 Like

Turns out Elaine was correct, QED.

Let’s meet the contestant:

I’m with pvn on this one. Jack and Diane apparently live in a McMansion and are financing a dog. Yeah, they can get fucked.

Also love how Youtube’s suggestions to me after watching that video are all SNL sketches.

Wait this is real? WTF

Why is she on camera also talking on a phone?

2 Likes

Yeah. Everyone deserves a kick in the nuts here. Dude makes $1400/month and decides to spend over $250/mo on dog leases. He can get fucked like Jack and Diane.

Fuck WAGS too, of course.

On a zoom call if your audio isn’t working you can join using phone audio + computer video. I actually do that sometimes because if I want to step away, I can just bring the phone with me and follow along.

1 Like

It all checks out from the robotic lady doing a Zoom call holding a phone to the founder going to college on a golf scholarship and being a huge fan of Ayn Rand. Guy is quoted as saying he likes to make these scame products available to people who are influenced by emotional decisions and has also taken up shop in funeral homes and bridal stores.

So I watched this again, and I realized that apparently the his first dog was financed with a “traditonal loan” from the pet store. WTF? Financing a pet purchase is so standard, that there was already a “traditional loan” type available. How about if you can’t afford a dog, maybe you just save up, don’t get one, or get a free one?

Fuck people who buy animals from pet stores and also fuck pet stores, no love lost there, but there is something fishier going on here. In the Forbes article, the lady was pretty certain she bought the dog outright for $2400 when, in fact, she had leased it for $5800 over 24 months. That’s just not something people are going to be confused about without a ton chicanery. Pet leasing has already been banned in about a half dozen states.

Yeah ok but how are scamlord capital partner bros supposed to get filthy rich if poor people spend within their means and start reading contracts and shit? All of the traditional scames have been done so you really have to think outside the box now.

1 Like

Imagine the sort of person who repo’s dogs, and how they treat the dogs while they have them, and where the dogs eventually end up.