Friends is different than close friends.
When the shit hits the fan, I don’t have someone to call when I need help.
I don’t know, man. That’s exactly the kind of friend that is much easier to make as an expat, in my experience. In the US you’ve got family for that. If you’re an expat, you don’t, so you rely on each other more. That was my experience. Obviously YMMV.
I like how you emphasize that it’s an EMOTIONALLY open relationship, so people won’t thing you’re @clovis8 ing all over the place as sex clubs. #notthattheresanythingwrongwiththat #nokinkshaming
People talk a lot about America being racist and it totally is. But I argue that Czech Republic is not only more racist but it is more acceptable to be racist by the average person.
I was on a tram last night and next to me was a young tan-skinned couple, likely upper teens to early 20s. They didn’t have tickets and were mostly flirting back and forth (at least I assume that given the number of hand signals the guy was making towards her referring to oral sex).
Normally, I zone out on public transport by listening to music and mostly ignoring my surroundings. But at some point on the trip, a well-dressed, well-groomed, middle-aged white man in a suit with a SPOLU pin on his lapel confronted the girl who was standing up. They went back and forth in I assume Czech (couldn’t hear anything due to my music) and shortly afterwards she was yanked off of the tram at a stop while her boyfriend sat there.
What was jarring was not just the obvious racial profiling and targeting of a woman of color. It was also that this guy had absolutely no authority to do that. He wasn’t a cop and he wasn’t checking tickets. He was just a guy with a pin on his lapel of a political coalition. And everybody else (myself included) was either uninterested or in shock at the sudden, quick assault that occurred.
If there was any positive news, it’s that the girl escaped from his grasp off the tram and got back on before he could thus leaving him behind. Perhaps the guy wasn’t her boyfriend either because he didn’t respond at all to what was happening. Just sat there while she was confronted and physically removed from the tram.
*SPOLU is the Czech word for Together. It was the center-right political coalition that succeeded in the general election last weekend.
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So much this. Dating is not easy. Most expats/migrants don’t plan to stay long and the barrier to entering society can be very difficult to break through. For example, over 95% of the population is Czech. Even in Prague, the expat community is small and most are planning to stay for a very short time. Unlike your typical Czech, I don’t hike, dance, and escape for my cottage on a weekly basis. I like video games, Netflix, and find it nearly impossible to speak Czech coherently despite my best efforts. Forming a long-term relationship will require a unique connection that is very hard to find.
Of course not every single one, but also not none.
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As I said eariler, YMMV. Obviously not all expat experiences are the same. Would you say your experience is unique to Czechia or is it true of everywhere you lived abroad?
You, and others, just sat there while a teenaged girl was kidnapped by a middle aged man? Maybe you missed a lot by not hearing it and it was her father or something despite her skin being tan. Also, hand signals referring to oral sex doesn’t sound like flirting. She goes from being harassed by the fellow teenager to being assaulted by the old dude.
They got on the tram together and stayed near each other. So yeah it led me to believe that they were together.
As for what happened, it happened so quickly and without warning that there was no time to respond. Maybe if my earbuds weren’t in, I was close enough to act, was paying attention and I understood Czech, I could know what’s coming and do something. Her presumed partner was literally sitting within arms length of both and did nothing.
I brought it up to some Czechs after I got off the tram to get some perspective and they weren’t much help. Basically stated that it was messed up and that they’d never seen anything like that before. But then again, there wasn’t a whole lot of information I could provide about what led to the confrontation since I was mostly zoning out.
Hard to say. I changed quite a bit during my 20s and 30s as did the people around me. In my 20s, it was super-easy to find people my age to do things with. I think once people hit their 30s, they kind of have the people in their life that they know and that’s it. They’re married, have kids and family commitments. They have people at work and it’s a bit harder to find a place to fit in.
The Czechs you brought it up to weren’t on the tram, right?
I hope CR isn’t some hellscape where old men can just pull teenagers off trains without getting a reaction and whatever they said made it a least look less like a kidnapping.
Nah. Talking to strangers on public transport (or in general) isn’t really a thing.
Everyone else seemed so nonchalant about it that I’d feel stupid asking. Plus, you can’t tell who speaks English or not on sight even if you didn’t feel stupid asking.
I’ve seen this kind of flirting more than once and it was clearly and obviously not harassment when I saw it.
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Probably the best thing about being about of my lil desert dancing moon party community is I’ve met the most amazing people of my life and we all became pretty close friends. Although we haven’t seen each other a lot since we all took covid super seriously, I have seen them a few time since. Normally I see them about once a month.
You meet lots of super nice, smart, loving people. It’s kind of a point of the party, only try to invite super nice/cool people and since it started with mostly those types, they’re a large majority. I also think doing the kinds of things they do help you stay that way, reduce stress, and feel closer to people. Law of averages though, there are a decent percentage of scumbags who came in.
Random things: I lost my nice smart phone twice before during acid trips ( i’ve learned to leave it in the car since lol ) and got it back both times.
I also lost my wallet before covid and my poker days and had like $800 cash. I don’t know why but I always carried a ton of cash because I had a lot. Never know when you wanna punt $800 on some fun.
Anyways complete stranger found it and mailed me a hand written note with their number to confirm I was at the address on the license. I offered them some of the money, wouldn’t accept, mailed me the wallet with every dollar. I’m still amazed to this day.
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It’s not just the CR. Bystander inaction happens a lot. Recently, a woman was actually raped in the subway in Philadelphia, and none of the passengers stepped in.
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I hate to heart this post but I was also going to post the story. It seems so inconceivable I just don’t want it to be true. Wtf
The bystander effect
The more people around, the less likely an individual is going to respond
I thought I read that was debunked. Reading that story it sounds like it wasn’t.
I wonder if knowing about the bystander effect makes you less likely to get caught up in it?
The story that it was based on (Kitty Genovese) was debunked. The phenomenon not so much.
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RIP to an absolute boss.
https://twitter.com/postobits/status/1447658285654495299?s=20
In summer 2012, in the middle of the night, an 82-year-old Roman Catholic sister hiked over a wooded ridge in East Tennessee and, with two fellow peace activists, intruded into a government facility nicknamed the Fort Knox of Uranium.
They evaded patrols, cut through sensored fences, entered a shoot-to-kill zone and, with relative ease, reached their target: a looming white building that contained a stockpile of material for nuclear weapons.
On its exterior wall the trio splashed human blood, as a symbol of the cost of war, and spray-painted biblical messages such as “THE FRUIT OF JUSTICE IS PEACE.”
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