Winter 2021 LC Thread—I Want Sous Vide

Idk man. Are you taking into account they can fly?

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I saw a huge blue heron (I think) at the park a couple of days ago. Would not fight.

I think I remember a “man vs. chimp” thread long ago on 2+2. Half the people were like “I’d just get him in a rear naked choke bro” and the other half saying the chimp would just reach back and rip your head clean off your body.

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This is a pretty clear Why Not Both, IMO.

Geese I don’t know. I grew up with chickens and ducks and geese on a relative’s farm and golfed around geese all the time. It might be gruesome but just grab them and wring their neck. There are other birds more dangerous than geese imo.

240px-Ostrich

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Yeah I ain’t fucking with ostriches or cassowaries, but geese and eagles I would fight. Geese, go for the neck and wring it, or at least hold on until you win. Eagles, dodge the pointy parts and just take the occasional bludgeoning blow against them. Shouldn’t take more than one or two hits before it is incapacitated, and you can strangle it from behind. Probably not coming out unscathed, but you should be able to win.

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FLORIDA

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fuck that shit

I actually had to click this video to remember what the jingle was and now it’s been in my fucking head since. Thx.

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I feel like I could take any and all birds by pulling one of these:

Or the advanced variations if needed:

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The eagle has some skill at killing stuff though. It can just circle above you, waiting for you to drop your guard. Maybe make some strafing runs until you get tired or dizzy looking up at the sky. He’s coming down at 100 mph. Even if he’s only 10 lbs, that’s enough energy to knock you on your ass senseless while he moves in for the kill. I’d have to take the eagle in that matchup, sorry.

image

Did anyone else grow up with this? I just had a flashback.

Problem with fighting an eagle is it is coming at you with the talons real fast. Obviously the eagle does best to keep making repeated aerial strikes and almost impossible to see beating it if it goes this route. If it tried to go for the kill after one aerial strike I could see getting a good sucker punch.

Also against a medium dog the medium dog absolutely gets the first hit in. But I would think I would have a good chance at getting a good enough second blow in. But lol at everything large dog and beyond.

I imagine most of those people are just trolling. I could see myself answering in an internet poll that yeah I could beat a gorilla.

4000 lb bench press, yeah gorilla laughs at the idea a human could touch it in a fight

Which is why I’ve always thought gorilla >>> black bear.

If an eagle puts all that kinetic energy directly into you from that kind of dive dies instantly. They can’t handle that impact.

Have you studied my post thoroughly? I have every attack vector covered. And this is before attaching talons of my own to my feet.

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https://twitter.com/SAMOYEDCORE/status/1393432102109007879

i’d punch them square in their trunk

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I so would have sacked my cat if she even contemplated these sort of shenanigans. No rodent would have dared try this on with her.

https://twitter.com/magnusonbd/status/1393268473342660611

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