Yeah that dude sucks for sure
my ex-wifeās nephew used to be her niece, hope iām saying that right.
ex-wifeās dad died a few months ago and i went to calling hours, saw all of them for the first time in many years. gave him a hug and said i was proud of him for being who he is.
then i realized i shook my exās other nephewās hand 
spent a few days thinking about that.
anyway, heās been a cashier at the dollar general near my house for a month or so, had a couple short conversations. definitely am curious and would love to get food and talk, but my desire to remain no contact with my ex-wife and her family is stronger.
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If thereās a need/purpose to discuss someone elseās gender, just saying āmy ex-wifeās nephew is transā would suffice.
As my kid transitioned, it was a big topic for me, especially in support group scenarios. So I think I got pretty comfortable talking about it. Maybe a little too comfortable in scenarios where it wasnāt/isnāt appropriate. Iām trying to remind myself that other peoplesā genders arenāt any of my business, and I try to limit discussion about it to people I might be able to support or help.
My trans son now has a boyfriend which is a bit of a brain twister if I think about it much beyond: Is he happy? Is he safe? Is the person heās with treating him well? After that itās his journey and Iām here to support and love him and thatās it.
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yeah i probably should have came up with that on my own.
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Depends a bit on the crowd youāre speaking with, too. Here everybody knows that the pronoun and gendered word (nephew) in the sentence refers to his current/target gender, but if youāre talking to some older folks they might hit you with the whole āwait does that mean heās trying to be a she, or vice versa?ā confusion. In those cases it might be better to say āmy nephew transitioned to maleā to make it clearer.
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Meanwhile, my oldest brother (70) sometimes steers our calls into trans discussion. āWho puts what whereā. āThey say Iām discriminating if I donāt want to date (he means have sex) a woman that used to be a manā
Heās also very misogynistic after spending his 20s and 30s as a complete hound, 10 year marriage in his 40s. Any accusation of a famous person is probably a lie.
Oddly heās not a Trumper. I canāt imagine he votes for Biden.
As he repeats the same stories over and over and over again, I just find a reason to get off the phone. Iāve tried to make the point of knowing people personally but it doesnāt go anywhere. But promised Dad before he passed that Iād stay in touch. Iām medical power of attorney etc.
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I find that when dealing with people who are being intentionally insensitive, especially when it comes to equality, the best response is to keep asking them to explain themselves
āWho puts what where?ā
With a straight face: āWhat do you mean?ā
āLike if they both got the same parts, who puts what where?ā
Still straight faced only slower this time as tho speaking to a mentally challenged person: āWhat exactly is it that donāt you understand?ā
Rinse and repeat. This also works great with racist or other off color jokes. Again, with a straight face just say, āI donāt get itā and ask them to explain the joke. They will almost always quickly realize just how stupid they sound