What’s so great about a damn walrus anyway? AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL?
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Please stand by…first reveal in 5 minutes.
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Excited for this reveal! Hoping to pick up some new stuff for my gym playlist.
Alright…let’s gooooo.
Category #3 - A song to listen to at the gym (or to pump you up for a similar occasion).
Paging @seities @Pauwl @beetlejuice @DodgerIrish @mjiggy @MimosaDef @Jalfrezi @TheDuker @microbet @Smrk4
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Present
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In 10th place and 1 point - microbet – Vivaldi - “Spring”
What is it about classical music, like country or opera, that makes it have fanatics that hardly listen to anything else? You’re either a fanatic or a hater, it seems. Is it a class thing? Is it about musical education? Micro did you play piano as a kid? Whatever it is, I don’t have it. I’m just going to chalk this one up to a personal category miss. I would never listen to this at the gym. Call me uncouth, I guess.
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In 9th place and 2 points - mjiggy – Phantogram – “You don’t get me high anymore”
Ok, now we’re getting somewhere, jiggy. The opening section gets me pumped. The lyrics don’t exactly get me pumped, but sadness has the same root as anger (so says my therapist, lol) and anger is a great gym mood, so there’s that. Is this a live drummer? Sounds like a drum machine and computers instead of live synth, but maybe not. You’re really into these clean, crisp tunes, yeah? A man has to have a story, and your picks certainly have that.
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lol holy shit I did not see this submission happening.
In 8th place and 3 points - beetlejuice – Tyler, the Creator – Igor’s Theme
This is pretty cool. I think the first couple tracks of this album are heavy on the autotune, if I remember correctly, so I wrote the rest off. But this is good and would work well for weights. It does feel a bit like an interlude-type track rather than a stand alone banger. It would be nice as the first track of a playlist. Maybe as a warmup.
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shrug. I just take the last 400 years of documented music and pick the best, whether that’s Vivaldi, Led Zeppelin or Cardi B.
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It was really difficult to rank what’s left. I like all of them.
In 7th place and 4 points Smrk4 - Metallica - “No Remorse”
Hard to go wrong with old school Metallica. I could see wearing Spandex to this. Not my favorite track by them, but it does pick up around 3:00 and then again around 4:50. Those are some tasty riffs, for sure.
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In 6th place and 5 points - MimosaDef – The Coup featuring Dead Prez – “Get Up”
I feel like this song is cheating. It’s great, of course. Anything off Let’s Get Free would have been great too. It does feel a little dated, especially after Michael Kiwanuka. Gives me some nice nostalgia feels of being a dirt-bag teen walking home in the middle of the night, Walkman cranked up, thinking about revolution in that pure, naive boyhood kind of way. Cool beans.
Aside: a friend organized a huge environmental justice music festival in the early 00’s and the Coup were one of the headliners. No one came. I saw them in the full glory of the 1pm sunlight with a handful of Canadian oldster hippies. Good times.
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I have a lot to do today, so I’m just gonna keep rapid firing this reveal.
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In 5th place and 6 points Jalfrezi – Iggy and the Stooges – “Search and Destroy”
Stooges are obviously GOAT material. Maybe took this one down a notch because it’s so familiar to me, but it’s hard to hate on one of my favorite tracks from one of my favorite albums as a wee lad. My Uncle loved Iggy and it rubbed off on me for sure. Is his new stuff any good? He has a very recent album, I’m pretty sure. I’ve heard it’s trash, but I’m going to check it out today.
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Was it the trash can percussion that gave it away?
Shucks, this was the only one of my submissions that I felt great about. This is the jam for working out. All good!
In 4th place and 7 points - seities - Ho99o9 - Knuckle Up
It’s genre home run. Anything in this ballpark of experimental hip hop (and especially with industrial influences) is my jam right now. CLIPPING, death grips, Ho99o9, Moodie Black, and their cousins are in heavy rotation at my place. The lyrics are perhaps a tad à la fromage, but that’s not too bad for getting pumped.
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Podium!!
In 3rd place and 8 points - Pauwl – Slayer – Gods of War
I have no idea how Slayer has never been a band I connected with. This is fucking fantastic. The groove starting at 2:00 (and especially 2:45) and onward would be great for running. My only worry is that the first two minutes are maybe TOO frantic. I don’t want to scare anyone at the gym.
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In 2nd place and 9 points - TheDuker - The Bronx – “Heart Attack American”
Straight up banger. Excellent tempo; excellent emotional resonance; excellence production and performance. Added to my gym playlist. Cheers. I also don’t want to have a heart attack, so it’s got that nice reverse-psychology thang going for workouts.
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PSA - Please heed this youtube comment warning:
“RIP anyone who turned up the volume because they thought the song was too quiet.”