After enduring much unclear thinking, it’s time to get things right in Walrus 9. I, pyatnitski, will be providing virtuous opinion. You, other people, the music.
What is Walrus?
You pick one song for each of the 5 categories I post and then submit them (see below for how to submit). I will then rank the songs per category and award points, winners and losers are declared at the end. As a demanding sort I’d prefer spotify and youtube links, but at least one source of your song is required. (Spotify means I can listen easily on my lovely stereo and thus appreciate your choice in High Fidelity, youtube means I can be sure to post the correct track in the reveal.)
This will likely get going when Jalfrezi is well into his, possibly even done, so although I’ll privilege those that didn’t do that one you’re welcome to double up. I’ll cap around 12, though we’ll see what happens there as I will not be the fastest in any case. I will try and go as quickly as possible and post at sensible times for the participants, but my listening time will be whilst ‘working’ so always subject to events. I’ll likely write the reveals beforehand piecemeal and then put them up relatively quickly just before bed for me (around 5 - 6PM EST).
I can’t really walrus at weekends, so entries are open till late next Sunday / early next Monday. So until 4am EST on Feb 3rd.
This will be ranked anonymously, I won’t know which of you animals submitted what. Submit your entries by PM-ing them to @King_of_NY.
My musical history is that, mesmerised by The Velvet Underground’s White Light/White Heat at age 13, I quickly disappeared down a noisy/avant-garde rock hole. I then slowly dragged myself out via (largely) jazz, folk and ‘the classics’ in my 20s, but have then listened to all sorts this past decade or so. Perhaps unusually I probably listen to more stuff without singing than with. I will warn that my musical kryptonite is useless indie bands being ‘moody’ or anything that sounds like it should have a tune but doesn’t.
Here are the categories. I won’t be judging by or even really policing category fit very much, if at all—I would like them to just be prompts for stuff you enjoy and / or think that I might.
1 - The best pop song of all time ™
In your opinion. Doesn’t have to have literally been a single, but that’s the sort of thing we’re after, obviously. I won’t mark anyone down for obviousness and will try to approach every track as if I don’t already know what I think about it. Honest.
2 - Dinner party, “hey, what is that?” track
Music you can wack on whilst folk are round, and it’s not obtrusive so you can discuss money, schools for your idiot children, the best local artisanal cabbage bar etc. But, at some point, someone will actually hear it and go, “hey, what is that?” Because they dig it so much. (And then you’ll drone on about it and then they’ll all leave)
3 - Noisy or depressing
One time I was told to put some music on and someone piped up with, “nothing noisy or depressing, though.” I was stumped. So, given I want stuff I like, hit me with either the noisiest noisy noise you think is good, or the bleakest burst of existential horror you can take. Preferably both!
4 - “Yo, imma let you finish, other people, but that reminds me of that time when…” track.
A song that features in an anecdote you sometimes tell. Don’t care what type of anecdote or how tangentially the song is involved. Send the anecdote, obviously, but I won’t judge them. Don’t send anything you don’t want posting, so change whatever you like or even make them up! No one will even know!
5 - Best last-track-on-the-album track
Most albums end, but only some end with something that just feels right as a last track. Feel free to tell me why you think that along with the submission, and I won’t mark people down for not fitting with my own understanding - it’s a lot to do with the album itself anyway. (If you’re under 34 and have never even listened to an album then sorry for discriminating, but what on earth are you doing here?)
(Oh, yeah, @suzzer99 )