Even if your story actually happened like you describe it, this is unlucky, not a lesson in how things work. You got hit by lightning. I’m sorry. That sucks. The lesson isn’t, “Men shouldn’t go outside for fear of lightning.”
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Yeah that’s why in my example I just said, “I think you’re pretty cool.”
Dude is fine with me. Your case was definite harassment and something similar reported to a supervisor at my work would result in immediate action to shut it down. Zero tolerance. Either stop doing this or GTFO.
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Can confirm that I’ve expressed my feelings to a couple of girls I was close friends with, they had no interest, and we continued being friends long after that. One is one of my closest friends to this day. I persisted a few times with her before I got it through my skull that she was never going to be interested and I wasn’t supposed to try harder (this was like 12-15 years ago). But I was always respectful and non-threatening about it, she knew me well before my attempts, and she was awesome about it.
Trying repeatedly was not one of my finest moments in reading the situation, preventing further embarrassment to myself, or making sure not to make her uncomfortable… But at least I did it in respectful and non-threatening ways.
After each attempt it was a little awkward for a while, but we powered through it. At one point after I was done trying for good, I made a joke to tease her about some weird quirk she had and said something like, “See, that’s why I could never date someone like you!”
We had a good laugh and it cut the tension after that, if I was comfortable joking about it, clearly I wasn’t upset/angry/hurt about it and it was in the past.
Yeah, “I’m attracted to you” is a bad opener. That’s for like Jim and Pam who have been pretending they have been just friends for years but are really in love and can’t take it anymore. If it’s to someone you don’t know that well it’s not good - for sure not at work.
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I guess I’m weird. I don’t mind chick, but “ladies” grates on my every last nerve.
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Thought so, I’ll drop that one. Thanks
I always use ladies to refer to old people. Women for the middle-aged. Girls for 20-somethings and younger.
It normally said in a creepy way when said about 20-somethings
I had wondered about using girl as well, like if I said I’m dating this girl, it feels weird now, maybe it’s my age, 34, but I’ve a started to make myself just say woman instead.
I can’t imagine any woman would be insulted by this assuming context is respected.
For sure this. Men always want to state the text when it’s obvious from subtext. Simply ask a woman out for coffee or a dinner. The subtext is always implied and never missed.
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I’ve stopped calling adult women “girls.” Seems weird. I would never call a room of men I don’t know “boys.” I used to resist calling a mixed crowd “guys” but that seems to have become acceptable for some reason as gender neutral.
The latter shouldn’t be acceptable. I use “hey everyone” in place of “hey guys” for example.
Yeah, I agree but we are losing that battle. I’ve noticed a huge uptick in progressives and feminists using “guys” for even groups of all women. I generally use “folks” but I’m pretty sure that’s a blinking red light that indicates you are old.
I couldn’t ever bring myself to call a woman a “lady” - it’s one of the words that was a strict no-no in my youth if you were at all aware of feminism, because of the implications of having to behave in a “ladylike” manner.
Spanish is easier with the pluralized you of “ustedes”.
The closest we have in American English is the southern “y’all”, and the people that tend to be looked down on who say “yous”.
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Y’all is the only non-food the South has given us that is a positive.
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Jazz?
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Also #teamfolks
If at all possible I will use y’all. But that requires the presence of a few Americans.
I grew up with yous. Worked fine.
There are people outside of the US that say “yous”?