I wish u had said that 2000 squats ago
You’re on fire, man. Keep going.
Actually it’s more like 20
Are you the type of man that takes care of his hygiene and enjoys the recognition of it or do just build up resentments as people compliment the effort those around you put it.
apparently it’s still in Victor’s top 5 for some reason. He also seems to think he coined the “living rent free in someone’s head” idea, which is a stretch, but ok.
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So, the mod team has talked this one over, and we have substantial doubts about the authenticity of this account. So, we think you should verify you are who you say you are, by whatever means you think is appropriate. You have, let’s say 48 hours to either verify or at least to try to negotiate an alternative timeline you’d prefer. Otherwise, you, and potentially @MikeLikesOrgies also, will be subject to bans.
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And just for clarity on the rule in question, posting on a disguised gimmick account to back up one’s own claims, especially when relying on the claimed demographics of the gimmick, which are different from one’s own, to add credibility, is most definitely bad faith.
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Prolly pretty obvious that a poster called “mikelikesorgies” was going to be a problem.
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And one last thing, the moderator @skydiver8 is a #ConfirmedWoman, so if you feel more comfortable sending your confirmation her way rather than mine or any of the remaining dude-ular mods, that’s up to you.
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jesus christ look at that serial killer. More disturbing than that picture of him eating those chicken wings. You do not want to be the guy Pete is pointing at in that gif, fuckin bad news man.
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Fair warning that a long post is incoming. And can’t promise that it will be the most coherent thing I’ve ever written because I’m still chewing over some things, but for anyone who wants to come along for the ride, I have some THOUGHTS.
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Trying to unpack sexism and misogyny is really hard. There are levels upon levels and inside the levels are hidden rooms with trap doors and funhouse mirrors and stuff. One of the most difficult things for me about being attracted to women was (and in some ways still is) trying to figure out healthy ways of processing and expressing that attraction in ways that wasn’t simply a bad impersonation of the Fonz or AC Slater, or some other model that I picked up from cultural presentations of guys who always got the girl. Lesson: the messages you are exposed to shapes your outputs. If you care about your outputs, be thoughtful about the inputs.
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Except in limited cases, I’m probably not going to referee general, “yo, is this post sexist?” discussions. One of the things that sucks about being an underrepresented group is sometimes feeling pressure to speak for all women or all lesbians, and I can’t (and won’t) do that. My opinion on any given topic is just that, and I don’t claim the right or the responsibility to decide posts are or should be offensive to all women.
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I MIGHT tell you how I feel about a specific post, but just because I didn’t have a problem with something doesn’t inherently make it ok just because a woman said it was fine. And if I do have a problem with something doesn’t necessarily make that poster a sexist or a bad person, it just means that to someone with my particular experiences and references the post made me uncomfortable. The poster can choose to do with that information as they wish.
To discuss one of the recent examples, when Mike posted about the women staying on the lower floor of his beach house, I thought about how I spent a lot of my summers as a teenager in a similar beach community and I knew a lot of the women like the ones he described. Many of them had a great time hanging out at the beach, partying, and enjoying life. But, they almost all also had stories about horrible bosses, shitty customers and random creeps who abused and harassed them because they knew that they held some power over the women because the women were in a new country, relatively socially isolated, and had an immigration status that was contingent on being on good behavior at work. So, when Mike posts about the J-1 women, I conjure up a mental image that is informed by those stories.
You obviously can’t control how every audience will receive your message, but I do think it is a useful exercise to occassionally Center someone else in your narrative and see how things look from their point of view.
- I think most of us here are trying to be good on these issues, but, realistically, we’re probably all going to look back in 5 years from now and think that some of the things we thought or said now were horrible. That’s ok. That’s progress in all it’s messy, painful glory. Know better, do better and keep it moving.
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Ok, accepted. I was trying to tell you as much when I declined the bet, but it’s easy to understand from our history why you might have assumed I was just taking shots at you instead of making a valid point.
I spend like 1000x as much time worrying about my hair looking bad or pimples on my face or how dumb my resting face looks or how my clothes don’t fit right or a million other faults I constantly see in myself than I ever spend feeling good like I want people looking at me. And like, it’s not because I look like some troll. I just would very much prefer if I knew that people weren’t evaluating how I look on any given day.
It’s crazy because I’m a man and in all likelihood they’re not evaluating how I look every day. But it’s stressful nonetheless. Even when someone says like “oh I love your glasses”, that can make it worse because it’s like oh, so she DEFINITELY noticed all of the other stuff then.
Not that hearing tales of male insecurity is in any way the same thing as women being objectified, there are different power dynamics and social dynamics at play. Point is just because you think a woman looks good, and even if she put a lot of work into looking good on that particular day, it doesn’t mean she wants the attention or compliments.
I am currently watching a TV series called “The Fall” starring Gillian Anderson. These lines stuck out to me:
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I think that’s a Margaret Atwood line originally.
This is a good point. Lots of women do enjoy clothing, shoes, makeup, etc. This is simply true. But, that factual statement ignores the reality that, generally speaking, putting time, money, and effort into appearance is table stakes for women while it is more optional for men. Being good looking and well polished will be an advantage for everyone, but the expectations wrt what is required to be good looking and well polished is higher for women and the punishment for not meeting those expectations is more severe.
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Clovis is gone for like three days and already the kink shaming begins.
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Well, looks like we got nothing. Last warning.
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