Were your interactions mostly in the rural areas, or did you hear openly racist shit in the big cities?
I lived within the city limits of Wuhan but not in the center of the city itself. Place is called Jiangxia (I assume Mendoza knows it). Itās defined as rural but looks like a city to me where I was.
I should note that the exception to the rule about the āstrongest racismā line would be the Japanese.
My first job in China was at a university in Jiangxia. I live in Hanyang now.
First time I got a haircut the barber said my hair is like that of a Xinjiang terrorist and it was a huge laugh line. This was in 2013, so before the Kunming train station knife attack but in the midst of there being attacks (and conspiracy theories among Chinese that the government was covering up even more were common). To be honest attitudes towards Uyghurs have cooled a lot since then afaict, but the standard fear the men, lust after the women applies.
Back then pickpockets were still super common and the stereotype was that theyāre all Tibetan. That sort of street crime is now largely nonexistent.
Racist attitudes towards non-Asians is very blunt and open but, as Bob said generally just based in genuine ignorance rather than hate. Iāve heard āI donāt like black peopleā countless times. Small sample size but Iāve met some Chinese guys who worked in Africa and they never expressed open racism to me.
There was an infamous ad around 2017-18 where an attractive young Chinese woman is in a laundromat and flirtatiously approaches a black guy only to throw him in a washing machine that transforms him into a Chinese hunk.
Guangzhou used to have an African population estimated at being around 200k at its peak. Thatās the only place where to my knowledge thereās any sort of societal tension where anti-black racism is particularly relevant. When Iād go to Shanghai around 2015-19 there was an area that would be filled with African guys late at night that thereād be no sign of during the day.
Same. Starting to wonder if I know you now lol
I was at Hubei University of Economics the 2013-14 school year. Unless you also worked or hung out there itās unlikely.
Education for me and 2011-12
I left Wuhan in 2012 and China in 2013 so yeah we didnāt cross
I remember Vox Bar being a hangout, but I think I only went there once.
Had to take a bus to Guanggu to access the Wuhan metro. Now the metro goes everywhere.
I met my wife because she was friends with the HR person in charge of the foreign staff and we played pool together once at Guanggu.
Getting to her place in Hanyang meant bus to Guanggu, then traverse the entire metro and then take a bus across the river to where weād typically meet (Iām guessing you never had reason to go to Wangjiawan, itās kind of near the big international-level soccer stadium). Another bus to get to the area where her and her family lived (and more or less where we live now).
Job was basically part-time so making the 2.5 hour trip twice a week wasnāt a big deal. Nowadays thatās a 50 minute trip by metro.
Update
Little Baby Rugbino born yesterday at just under 8 pounds.
Absolutely brutal birth experience. I still havenāt processed.
4 days of labor ending in an emergency C section. Mrs Rugby being rushed out of the room surrounded by 8 doctors running.
Baby and Mrs Rugby healthy.
Birth as a thing. Fucking hell. I kind of knew in theory. But fucking hell.
I want to talk about Mrs Rugby being insanely tough and brave, but that doesnāt really capture it. Because sheās literally being put through it with no actual option to tap out. So Iām not sure if brave is the right word for it.
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Hoooooly shit 4 days is insane especially to end in an emergency C Section. Glad everyone is ok.
Itās going to be a big lift on your part to support as much as you can in these next two weeks so just do your best and lean on your support system as much as you can
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Fuck. Well, at least thatās behind you and you can both get some much-deserved rest not sleep for more than 4 consecutive hours for the next six months.
Congrats, babies are amazing!
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Congrats bud, youre through the hard part.
Now comes the hard part.
Some unsolicited advice from someone who has done it twice. Over the next 18+ years, you will fight with your wife, you will fight with your child, you will question every single decision you make every time you make one. You will worry about money, and you will worry about whether you have any idea what you are doing. This is all completely normal. Youāre human. Never let yourself forget that. The most important thing to remember during this time is that humans make a lot of mistakes and thats ok. We have the ability to apologize. Use it liberally.
Also, you chose to bring a new life into the world. The process is incredible, the result is incredible, and the next 18+ years are incredible. Youre also insane. Seek help.
Those last two lines were written in jest, but the last one is also true. It doesnt have to be tomorrow, but invest in therapy. Both for yourself and as a couple. Having a kid can make you think about things differently and not neccesarily at the same time as your spouse. Learn how to argue and fight well, because once you fall into the habit of fighting poorly, it is REALLY hard to break the habit. Couples therapy will help you learn how to communicate as best as you can, and youll need it, because you will start communicating differently now that your child is here.
The most important thing you can do as a parent is to ALWAYS support your kid. You may not like what they do. You may not agree with what they do, but them knowing that no matter what, they can come to you and tell you about what they do will make all the difference in the world. Never let them shut you out.
Lastly, enjoy it. Its the best and hardest thing Ive ever done as a person, and I would never change it, only some of the things Ive done in the 18+ years since. But when you feel that way, refer back to lesson one. You are human, we make mistakes, and thats ok.
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Had a similar experience and it was devastating. The moment they took her away to the OR while im standing there helpless is one of the worst feelings i remember.
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They didnāt let you go in there for the c-section? I got to go in for my wifeās. It has been a while, but it seemed pretty standard at the time. Then again, neither was as emergent as what it sounds like rugby went through, so maybe that made a difference.
They say the second kid is easierā¦ right? Right? Asking for a tired friend.
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Our second kid has been an easier baby than our first kid.
However that is balanced out by the fact that Iāve been basically solo parenting a toddler every weekend for 2 months and that rather than getting to sleep while the baby is sleeping, Iām still waking up at 630AM every morning to get the older one to school.
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Our second was an easier baby and we were more prepared (by having no expectations of doing anything other than work or parenting), but yeah, having a toddler when you also have a newborn is challenging. My older brother was only 1 and a half when I was born. That had to be very hard for my mom. My eldest was 2 and a half and that wasnāt too bad. At that age they can play on their own and listen to you a bit.
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It is, yes. Having all the knowledge of what the first kid goes through in each phase really helps when the second hits those same phases.
Edit: this is for when they are more spread out. Irish twins could be an entirely different story that I have no experience with.
First baby was actually an easy baby by all accounts. So, hopefully round 2 to that regard.
Good point, the first born will be right around 3 when the second is scheduled to arrive. Kid 1 keeps himself pretty occupied playing with toys now and I expect that our abilities to communicate with each other will continue to improve rapidly.
Not gonna lie, having 2 kids is about 1000x more work than having 1. The parenting stuff is easier in itself though.
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