In my view those conversations are not helping. I understand if you get a tickle out of making a point with a turd. I do it too. But I would ask that you spend your time not seeking out the defeat of enemies but by cultivating allies and confronting your own prejudices. We need your help, and you only get so much time on this planet to make a contribution.
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well fuck. 
didn’t look at it like that, and the last thing i’d want to do is cause harm (to non-bigots). it was mostly envisioning a “but why is that any of your business? leave people alone” type of thing, but i didn’t really think about whether it was helping or hurting.
how would i go about cultivating allies (without wearing the shirt)?
and while i married/divorced an italian woman, basically all of the rest of my relationships have been with black women, and racism/prejudice is #1 on my code… are you meaning a specific prejudice on my part? or to just generally find ways to better understand a culture (not sure that’s the right word) i’m not familiar with?
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HRC’s not really a company though, right? I have assumed they are a legit advocacy group / non-profit and coincidentally I recently bought this ball cap from the HRC store. It’s now in my rotation of caps I wear, mostly when playing poker.
I just mean we are all working from within a circle of prejudice and privilege. Not burning you in particular for anything 
I think it’s okay to wear the shirt. You might find some allies. I just think it matters to pursue allyship with humility to how far all of us can help us each other grow beyond ourselves. We are all imperfect allies.
Antagonizing each other is the kind of conversation that is not leading us to productive conversations or productive outcomes, even if the point of the debate was in favor of being an ally.
That’s different than someone feeling attacked or ashamed or something just as a reaction to you wearing the shirt or speaking up in favor of trans people. You aren’t responsible for how they react.
That was a big lesson for me after George Floyd and looking at what I’d internalized by growing up in Mississippi. You choose what conversation you engage with. That person might have a lot of work to do before they’re ready to talk to you (or me).
Idk it’s hard to know what to do even for ourselves or other people who share your own struggles.
That’s just me though.
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They are a legit advocacy/lobbying organization, but they are also seen by some folks as being too mainstream/ interested in upholding the status quo. Historically their membership and leadership has skewed a bit towards wealthier cis white men, so they have been criticized for things like:
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being too cozy with big corporations that might have good diversity policies at the executive levels, but exploit lower level employees
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not being sensitive enough wrt how ideas about sexuality or gender identity may differ amongst different races and cultures
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some folks argue that there have been several issues where the HRC sold out trans people by, for example, supporting legislation that prohibited discrimination based on sexual orientation but didn’t say anything about gender identity.
In other words, HRC is a pretty big power player, so they’re not going to be on the cutting edge with their positions.
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On the T shirt. A couple of thoughts
- These flags and signs are about signaling safety to people around you. It’s like “yo. I’m on your team. It’s okay.”
So if it feels right, do it for that purpose. You actually have to live up to that commitment tho when push comes to shove.
- Regarding conflict. There was a study a few years ago that said that Trans rights was an issue where you could change peoples minds with conversation. That may have changed over time as people get more set into their ways and the non assholes mostly get on board.
Finally, it is very rare for kids to have surgery. I know you said you dont care, but this is a deliberate shift of the goal posts by the bad guys. Gender affirming care is age appropriate and the most significant medical intervention under 18 would normally be hormones or hormone blockers. Dont concede the idea that its widespread surgery on kids.
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Didn’t someone post a statistic that the amount of kids on blockers in America is something like 5000, or .001%? I thought it was such a small number in relation to how loud people are screaming about it.
I don’t know, but I think the most common gender affirming care would be counseling?
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Yeah that was me. The craziest thing about the stat is that it came from a pro Trump anti trans group
Right. I appreciate you Rugby.
Like I’m not saying stop fighting, but empowering trans people and other allies is far more productive a mindset than antagonizing people who are struggling to overcome their prejudices.
You gotta remember too who those people go after once you piss them off.
You gotta remember the people they choose as the subjects of their next debate.
It’s people who are trans or who are perceived as trans. Not the cis people who used a shirt to provoke the bigots.
There’s just too much diversity in cis, trans, and intersex people and beyond to give any inch of ground to people asserting transphobic positions, even if you might take pleasure in shooting down such low hanging fruit.
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i think you’re talking to me, and 
anyone who needs help and/or safety should feel safe to me, again didn’t think of the shirt as a signal, but yeah
and it probably (obviously) didn’t come across this way, but wearing a shirt like that absolutely would be me trying to provoke a conversation where simple arguments/facts should be able to help someone (who probably has never had an IRL convo about it before) down the road towards acceptance.
rereading this morning, it seems like i’m looking to put someone in the cross-face chicken wing. but trans/gay/minority rights SHOULD be something that a normal conversation can help.
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I don’t find pointing to that number being “small” makes any difference. The point is that this is a good thing to do and not a bad thing. If 5000 kids were being intentionally harmed, that’s a big number! But they aren’t, so it’s not.
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I think it matters tho who you are talking to and where they’re starting from.
I think this is kind of like attempting to dismantle a flat earth argument from the inside.
All you will do is teach that person how to refine their arguments. The problem is NOT their arguments, which are often coherent and quite strong. It’s the premises that are faulty. If those aren’t persuasive, you’re just engaging in a thought exercise. But in this context, a thought exercise that hurts trans people.
And if the person is not ready to articulate and reconsider the basis of their arguments, change is beyond your power with them.
It’s silly to argue with people who start off by claiming the equivalent of saying marshmallows are cloud poop, therefore trans people should be targeted for discrimination.
That’s how ridiculous transphobic positions are now in 2023. The discussion and actual science has moved so far beyond the Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson talking points that it’s no longer helpful to treat that as an acceptable starting point for the conversation. Those people have a lot of work to do before they are not starting from a position as regressive as opposing interracial marriage.
Different conversations become available when you seek out deeper dialogue with people who are not on the verge of acknowledging their bigotry. See what happens when you spend that time and energy usually given to debate with bigots instead to empowering people who are already in position as allies. You only have so much to give. We’ll take as much as you will redirect 
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Love that Trans rugby link.
Theres something about rugby where you get the same player types in every game and every country in the world.
I’m pretty sure I’ve played with this guys twin in two different countries . Lol.
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Dang just try and stop that bus 
you’re a good person the older i get, the more i appreciate that.
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Thanks wiper I’ll take it 
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I might be okay with this one…
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except for the ‘fucking’, i’d wear that regularly 
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Jessie Gender does a guest spot for GameStop discussing LGBTQ rep in amazing video games while highlighting a ton of trans characters in modern video games (such as Last of Us II).
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