Hi all, I’m creating this thread under an alternate username not because I am ashamed of the topic, but because this stuff TRIGGERS the everloving hell out of the crazies. I’m not worried about someone tracking me down, I can handle mines, but definitely not interested in having that happen to my child. For anybody who knows me/my posting over the years it’ll be pretty easy to figure out who I am. If you’re dying to know, send me a message and if I know you I’ll tell you.
Also, and now this prelude is too long, you might wonder “why the hell are you posting this at all?” The biggest reason is that aside from a once-a-month support group of parents, it’s very hard to talk about this with people, even close friends. It’s a tough one for people. So this is worthwhile for me. And I think it’ll be an interesting thread without much risk of harm.
Anyway, I have a child in their early teens who is changing/has changed their gender. They were assigned female at birth and currently identify as non-binary/trans-masculine (pronouns they/them). My wife and I assume that at some point they will identify as male, but we’ll see I guess.
The big thing that’s about to happen is that they’re going to start testosterone in a few weeks. I am about as progressive as they come but definitely needed to wrap my head around starting hormones, but after significant research, conversations with my child, etc etc etc, I’m very comfortable with this step. I am definitely aware some of you are probably reading this and thinking “you are out of your fucking mind” and maybe I am. This is not easy to understand until you’re in it, and even then for me it took time.
At some point in the future, assuming the course doesn’t change drastically, my child will want top surgery (have their breasts removed). That’s still a tough idea for me to swallow, but one step at a time.
Stuff currently on my mind:
- My child’s voice is going to change, and at some point that will be permanent. That’s kind of getting me a bit.
- We happened to give my child a very gender-neutral name, so they are keeping their name. Many parents have a very hard time with name change.
- As long as they’re non-binary, they get misgendered 100% of the time by people who don’t know them. They much prefer being called he to she, so the changes the T will bring should help in that regard. So part of me thinks it would be easier for them if they identify as male.
- I go to a group of parents of trans youth once a month and it is an absolute lifesaver. So grateful for it.
Maybe this was TMI. Not sure exactly what I’m expecting to get out of it, but thanks for reading and giving me the opportunity to express myself.