As cynical as it seems, remind them how anti-trans measures are bad for cis women, because that is a group they do (pretend to) care about.
Ask them if they really want butch women to have to “proof” their womanhood when entering a bathroom. Tell them how in some highschool sporting events, cis girls have already had to go through humiliating inspections to proof their girlhood.
You can also remind them that the vast, vast majority of sports are at an amateur level and that there getting exercise and making connections with your peers, is more important than the result.
When it comes to the sports thing, I think it’s also good to just emphasize the numbers. A very small fraction of people are trans, by definition about half of them are transitioning to male and surely aren’t giving themselves any advantage breaking into men’s sports, and out of the remaining ones, think of how few are actually interested in playing competitive sports anyway.
Try to get people to realize it’s not some huge growing epidemic of women’s sports being invaded by big strong transgirls, it’s a tiny smattering of cases that of course almost all wind up getting publicized because some people have an agenda.
For bathrooms, I find it helpful to think of them as all unisex even if labeled otherwise. These are proof of concept that sharing bathrooms with male, female, intersex, non-binary, and all other variations does not hurt anyone.
If they push back, I would challenge them for a solution on how to handle intersex, non-binary, and all other variations. Some cultures have a third gender. Where do they expect these people to use the bathroom? The trick here is to get them to see this is not a binary problem with a binary solution.
For sports, a similar argument arises if you start not from cis vs trans, but for how to make space for all normal variations. For example , a lot of intersex people don’t identify as male or female. They identify as intersex. What gender are they supposed to play under if forcing them to play as their sex assigned at birth? What if they underwent forced surgery as babies and are now trans simply because their parents made the wrong decision?
If we’re arguing against sex assigned at birth to discriminate against competitive advantages, this is a lot like the concern people once had that gay people may have an innate disadvantage when raising children. Well maybe the concern had a place once upon a time, but we are way past proving that the concern is simply not relevant.
The same is true for worrying one person assigned male at birth has a significant advantage over those assigned female at birth. We simply have not seen case after case of that concern being born out as worthy of any attention. Surgery and hormones drastically diminish a mtf’s physical prowess. We should honestly be worried for MTF trans people for their inability to compete now lol
Show them that if we are going by the available evidence, this has borne out to be a non issue, even if you can see why someone would be concerned before the evidence was in.
Man I don’t miss hearing Ben Shapiros whiny voice (used to have a housemate who listened to him non stop). Pretty satisfying to see someone unleash on him using his own tactics to totally silence him.
Got a call from my cousin today. She says she wants to give me a heads up about Thanksgiving. She says that their youngest child (15), decided earlier this year to identify as a female, and is now going by a different name. While I’m nominally supportive of trans folks, I’ve never had any close friends or family who are trans so I feel a little out of my depth. My whole family are conservative Christians, and this poor kid is living in Dallas Texas, so I imagine she has a rough road ahead of her. I’m not that close with her, I’d usually see her once or twice a year around the holidays,but she’s one of the sweetest kids I know. I think her mother is clearly uncomfortable with it, but to her credit she told me that she let her know that she loved her and would always be there for her. However I’m worried about the rest of my family and shit that might get said when we all get together and people start drinking. I want her to feel loved and welcome and definitely don’t want to inadvertently make her uncomfortable or say something stupid, but like I said I don’t have too much practical experience in this realm. Any advice or resources that anyone would be willing to share would be appreciated.
I would let her know you’ve got her back and are here to support her. Ask her how you can support her if someone says something out of line. She may prefer a quiet response or to say something loud. I was very happy when my co worker asked me how to support me if I encounter any trouble with a patron.
Maybe try and form an alliance with some of the better relatives?
Check in with her first, but I think lots of gently using the right pronouns and the right name, and gently correcting those who don’t is the way to go.
Honestly, I’ve been beating the drum in this thread. But Will and Harper is so fucking good, and it’s targeted perfectly at people who don’t know about these things
Go watch that, and maybe suggest it to some of the relatives?
Are you bringing a partner? Having an adult woman who can do girl stuff with her would probably be pretty sweet. Just remember how fun your favorite aunties/uncles were to hang out with
+1 to asking her how she’d like to be supported. That’s a little awkward if you aren’t very close to her, but you’re the grownup. Maybe get her number and text her.
There were situations where my kid wanted me to advocate vocally and some where he preferred I just STFU. Like even right now one grandparent (my wife’s POS dad) consistently uses the wrong pronouns and my kid, who is very extremely obviously a dude, just wants all of us to ignore him because it isn’t worth it.
Also, not confronting my father-in-law helps make him look like a fool, because he’ll introduce my son (an adult man) to people at the old folks’ home as his “beautiful granddaughter”.
Finished this tonight. You’re right, it was pretty good. A lot more compelling and funny than I expected. I got teary when they were reading the hateful messages and Will started sobbing, wondering if he had failed Harper.
I was extremely nervous but watched this in the common room of my communal house, hoping it would lead to either some good conversations with my housemates or just me feeling more comfortable being the trans girl in a house full of cis women. Mission accomplished on both goals.
One of my housemates opened up to me and let me know her daughter is trans. She told me how hard it was not to accept her but to accept the struggles her daughter would have to go through in this transphobic world. That initially came off to her daughter as though she was rejecting her. But now they are in a good place, her daughter has changed her name legally and her gender market, and she has a good job. She ultimately took from her mom a feeling of self esteem and self respect.
Then there was the other housemate who simply said how brave and kind Will was to go into Texas with Harper knowing how racist and transphobic the state is. Good times.
The house owner also stopped by today and let me know if any of the girls have any problems with me, she is 100% taking my side lol because she’s never had any issues with me. She even started asking people during their intake for their preferred gender identity, because now she knows it’s an important question. You never know, especially with people who are homeless and may not have access to any gender affirming care or clothes.
You guys are very nice. I feel like I would not be nearly as quick to give grace to some old spiteful piece of shit (assuming he is misgendering out of evil and not genuine senility) and would consider pillowing him instead.
Not sure if this is sample bias by the trans people I know and follow online but the percentage of trans people with wild coloured hair has to be like 20:1 the non trans community.
I think so too lol. I guess it has to do with part of trying to come out and live proud. I felt instantly comfortable wearing purple hair for a long time. But it’s been a while and now I prefer a long blonde wig. With my second favorite being long black hair with pink highlights at the ends.
