Sorry being super pedantic but I changed it again. I hate even a hint of STI shaming.
What a thread to wake up to. You guys have been doing work. I think all the 90s fear porn sex ed really scared the shit out of me. Other than maybe 1-2 random drunken encounters I think I am batting 100% on condom usage until we had at least been exclusively dating for a few weeks.
Also never even seem a dental dam or worn a condom during oral sex. They must not have scared the shit out of us that we would die an almost immediate disfigured death for that unprotected act.
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I begged my fam doc for the HPV vaccine when I was juuuust over the guidelines for it and he refused, saying I probably already had it. I was adamant I didn’t but couldn’t convince him. Seriously hope I don’t regret that one day.
I’ve made the mistake of not wearing condoms when hooking up with friends and assuming I would “know” if they had an STI. With strangers I’ve gone raw a couple times but put me in that 90’s camp that was convinced our parts would fall off if we did anything wrong once.
Are we supposed to be proud of our STIs? I don’t really see the harm in STI shaming, tbh.
There is immense harm in shaming people who have STIs.
Look at this very thread and the fear and anxiety people mention when herpes is brought up. It’s a minor skin infection with no significant health effects. Nearly everyone has it. Yet the shame attached to it has caused countless people to become celibate, isolate themselves out of shame and even forgo treatment. It’s caused many suicides.
STIs spread because people are ashamed to talk about them or to admit infection.
Nobody feels guilty when they get sick in any way except when sex is involved. Society (read Christian religion) has decide sex is shameful so all it’s associated health concerns become shameful.
The HIV epidemic led thousands of people to die simply because of the shame of the disease.
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OK, that’s a pretty good argument. I guess SHAME is too much, but we should feel a little bad about spreading them around or contracting them. Contracting any preventable infection isn’t anything to be proud of and you should be a tad embarrassed, but not shamed.
There is certainly nothing to be proud of but there is no shame. None. There are a million variables in catching an infectious disease and personal responsibility is only one very small part of it. Do we shame people who get Covid? Of course not. Literally the only reason you think there should be any shame is because you are socially conditioned to think sex is bad or not worth risk.
Dan Savage likes to say we don’t shame people for taking on risk in any other part of life. Driving is very risky we don’t say to the person in an accident “was that trip to the store worth the risk”. We don’t say to the skier “you deserved your spinal injury a little. Everyone knows skiing is super dangerous”. Eating a tuna sandwich has risk. Do we tell the person who get food poisoning “well of course you got sick. Tuna and mayo!”
Only with sex do we shame people for taking some risk.
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Would you make fun of someone who refuses to wear a seat belt and eventually gets injured? I think we’re mostly agreeing, FWIW.
Like all things in life there is a continuum. This thread began with me pointing out how nuts Suz’s take on contraception was. There is personal responsibility. People need to set their own risk tolerance. For me having tons of random, anonymous, drug fueled, and unprotected sex is irresponsible and I will feel less bad for that person when they get an STI. If you drive 130 km/hour everywhere and refuse to wear a seatbelt I’m not going to feel really bad when you inevitably die. I won’t shame you though.
I should point out the seatbelt case involves only personal risk whereas STIs involves increased risk for others around you.
Would y’all ever date a girl with herpes?
It would depend on the girl. It certainly wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me but it might be a factor to consider.
ugh I picture you all as flabby middle aged Popehat lookalikes and now I’m picturing Popehat having sex. Thanks.
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You hinted at it, but I would add that the stigmatization of STIs causes people to avoid talking about their STIs, which causes people to perceive that STIs are far less common than they really are.
This is devastating. It causes people to think that unprotected sex with someone you aren’t in a committed relationship with isn’t all that risky.
I shared the calcs earlier. There’s something like a one in twelve chance you catch a serious STI from each new sexual partner.
Don’t let the fact that nobody ever, ever talks about STIs create an impression that unprotected sex isn’t extremely dangerous. And just like you’ve scrubbed your language of racist and sexist and homophobic shit, you absolutely must scrub it of language that stigmatizes STIs.
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It shouldn’t be.
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You really need to educate yourself.
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That’s why I asked a question
Fair enough. Check back on this thread I posted a story about why the fear of herpes isn’t warranted. Bonus you will appreciate. It was created by a big corporation to sell drugs.
lol the incessant name changes of this thread
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It’s not lol for reasons well articulated here.
I haven’t read the thread cover to cover lol just seen at least 3 changes in the last 24 hours.