The Final Debate: Biden v Trump the Shitshow wrapped in a clusterfuck having sex with a goatshow inside a dumpster fire

OAN. In all seriousness PBS like the other person said. Fuck cable news.

realistically, what are the chances of an epic meltdown? My gut is like 25% but it’s probably more like 5%.

Surprised Bush didn’t just get up and tell everybody he was voting for Bill too after that answer.

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I’m really risking it tonight by having a couple of my more moderate Democratic voting friends over to grill out and watch this in my backyard tonight. Both with Covid and me getting overly drunk and yelling at the TV.

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needs to go with “Welcome to Thunderdome Bitch”

If you’re going for theatrics, I’m in favor of Biden rolling out a ramp, walking up it, drinking from a glass of water, walking back down, then gesturing for Trump to do the same with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Either Trump does it and confirms he’s beta, or refuses and gets clowned for being afraid of ramps and water glasses.

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Reminds me of the Bill Hicks joke about why every single presidential candidate who sounds half reasonable becomes a complete arsehole on reaching office.

I have this feeling that whoever is elected president, like Clinton was, no matter what you promise on the campaign trail – blah, blah, blah – when you win, you go into this smoke-filled room with the twelve industrialist capitalist scum-fucks who got you in there. And you’re in this smoky room, and this little film screen comes down … and a big guy with a cigar goes, “Roll the film.” And it’s a shot of the Kennedy assassination from an angle you’ve never seen before … that looks suspiciously like it’s from the grassy knoll. And then the screen goes up and the lights come up, and they go to the new president, “Any questions?” “Er, just what my agenda is.” “First we bomb Baghdad.” “You got it …”

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Morse code enabled butt plugs are a thing as well … maybe?

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Matt Taibbi’s drinking rules for tonight. It’s gonna be a doozy.

  • In any case, drink THE FIRST TIME:
  1. Biden begins a sentence with, “Look.”
  2. Biden brings up Trump’s taxes, or “$750.”
  3. Trump mentions “Hunter.” Double-shot if he gives him a nickname, like “Crack-boy.”

Drink EVERY TIME:

  1. Biden mentions “Obama” or the “Obama-Biden administration.”
  2. Biden says, “United States of America.”
  3. Trump calls Biden a radical leftist. Double if he references the “Bernie-Biden left” or some iteration thereof.
  4. Trump mocks Biden for being mentally impaired or lost without a teleprompter.
  5. Biden gives up his time before it’s up, a.k.a. the “Check, please!” rule.
  6. Biden invokes, “C’mon, Man,” “Malarkey,” “Scranton,” “Existential threat,” “Soul of the Nation,” or “I’m the guy that…”
  7. Trump brings up “ballots,” “fake news,” “Ilhan Omar,” “career politician,” “Get Trump,” “hoax,” “Sleepy,” or the awesomeness of police.
  8. Biden brings up the loss of any of his family members. Double if Trump steers this moment in an inappropriate direction.
  9. Trump tells a lie; Biden says something that doesn’t make sense.
  10. The men accuse each other of being racist. Drink twice if you believe the charge.
  11. Martyr shots: Biden invokes the name of a nonwhite police victim like Breonna Taylor or George Floyd, or Trump invokes the name of an embattled statue subject like Jefferson, Lincoln, or Teddy Roosevelt.
  12. “Amy Coney Barrett.” Bonus if Biden botches the name, e.g. “Amy Hairy Conehead.”

You may finish your remaining alcohol if there is a fight. The men grabbing each other by the neck, pulling ties or underwear bands, spitting, ball-kicking, or any other physical provocation counts.*

hmm, live fact checking on twitter, I guess. New account by Biden and the DNC:

https://twitter.com/truth/status/1310990044837097474?s=20

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https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/1310965975215415296

Yes.

Trump has to feel the existential nature of this. The pressure is on. Anything can happen. Anything.

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One of the obscure channels might show DemocracyNow’s coverage of it? I don’t have cable but when I flipped through the channels at my parents’ a while ago I was pleased to stumble onto DN! around 5pm or so.

Sure. But I think Biden will make note of it and move on. He’s not gonna hammer Trump over it. That’s what he’s gonna do about Covid.

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This thing is at 3am local time. I am seriously considering setting my alarm clock, but I think even I am not that much of a politics degen yet (guess that will be different on the evening of November 2nd).
But I do believe that if my newly acquired old man skills (aka having to get up at night) kick in at the appropriate time I think I will succumb to the urge. Probably see you guys later…

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I’ve seen DN pop up on one of the local PBSs. That’s a good idea if they’ve got live coverage

I prefer C-SPAN. Your choice is really about who you want to watch before and after the debate. If I leave the TV on, I find the call-ins more fascinating that the standard talking heads. YMMV.

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What’s the big deal with Bush looking at his watch? What am I missing?

It reinforced the idea that he was an old out of touch guy who didn’t care about the average American. Clinton was on stage at full charismatic power making the debate audience feel important while meanwhile the other guy is checking his watch to see if he can get away from all these filthy peasants yet.

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Yeah, CSPAN cranks are the best. If you’ve never watched, just imagine the sorts of people who would actually bother calling up CSPAN. It’s exactly like you’d imagine.

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