I have this exercise I go through when I don’t understand others’ behavior. First, I assume that I am not inherently better than them. Then, I consider what life experiences it might take for me to act similarly. Then, I think deeply about the life experiences that these people have had.
I have lived my life up to this point trying to make other people feel safe. I have never been in a fight, threatened violence, or shoplifted. But given a lifetime of cumulative disadvantage, racial/social injustice, community violence, toxic stress, and ongoing societal apathy - it’s hard to guarantee I wouldn’t be the first person lighting a match.
Look at these actions through the perspective of someone who has never felt safe, respected, understood, or equal. Then think about how we fix those underlying problems.