***Official 2020 Seinfeld Draft***

Sports & Other Games
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In the spirit of BANGERS! all submissions ITT will receive a like for participation and either of these gifs depending on if your pick was worthy of a second season


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That really is a solid first round pick. At the time, an episode about masturbation was worthy of raised eyebrows and a lifetime supply of pearls. I don’t know that it’s the funniest episode of the series, but as far as humor and cultural significance, it was worthy of going first.

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The Contest easier than Emmitt Smith in 1996 FFB

I will give Nick a little longer

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Got suzz’s pick waiting

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Failed already. GOAT episode of any TV show ever still on the board!

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Guess we should expect things to be slow given that it’s a holiday weekend.

I’m gonna go with suzz’s pick if nobody goes soonish.

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I’ve been here I was waiting for Nick to go, if we are skipping him again I can go ahead @Nicholasp27

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I say go

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A perfect segue into my pick

“I used to sit here and do nothing and regret it for the rest of the day. But now, I will do the opposite, and I will do something!”

With the second pick in the 2020 Seinfeld Draft

The Opposite

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I believe I speak for RiskyFlush when I post:

“The Opposite” is definitely early first round material.

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As for suzzer’s pick:

The Deal

Jerry and Elaine sleep together after being lovers a long time ago, then friends forever. They come up with a system of rules that they think will allow this to work without turning into a mess. Jerry relays these rules to George at the Cafe. Reciting dialogue from memory:

George: For centuries people have been trying to have their cake and eat it too. What gives you the ego, the gall, to think you’ve got it figured out?

Jerry: We have come up with a system of rules.

George: Ok. Lay it on me.

Jerry: First rule, no calls the next day.

George (ponders this a bit): Ok. So no calls the next day. I gotta say I’m pretty impressed so far. Go on.

Jerry: Second rule, spending the night is optional.

George: Nah, you got greedy. It will never work. It could be 100 degrees and you could be on an army cot this wide - she’s not gonna be happy unless you spend the night.

Ok - found the scene - not bad memory from last seeing it in the mid-90s.

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Ugh, #1 pick just a pure steal at this point.

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My plan is to go with the FEA (funniest episode available), as opposed to “best” episodes, but I haven’t watched Seinfeld in five plus years so going to be hard to remember what that is.

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Gonna be honest, I didn’t have suzzer’s pick particularly high on my list. It was memorable for it being Jerry and Elaine hooking up but I otherwise didn’t find it particularly funny. I suppose friends with benefits was a controversial theme in 1991 so maybe it was a product of its time.

It’s draftable purely for the above mentioned but otherwise that’s it.

The Contest was definitely the best of the lot imo. However, The Opposite was #3 on my big board.

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My no 1 is still on the board. Can’t argue with these, though The Deal isn’t one I’d have in the top ten. It’s great (it’s Seinfeld) but it always made me feel unconformable as even as a teenager I could feel they were messing with the formula. Though, that’s the joke, I guess.

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Surprised you didn’t jump in on this one.

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I figured I wouldn’t be able to keep up. I only really have the time I’m supposed to be working that I could research, find GIFs and so on, and I can’t say the first month of lockdown has been a productive one.

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I had four episodes aside from The Contest where I’d be really disappointed if I didn’t get at least one. Three are still available. This one was #1.

Season 5, Episode 14: The Marine Biologist

The B-plot was pretty good, with Elaine losing face at Pendant Publishing (yet again) thanks to a faulty electronic organizer gifted to her by Kramer, and her gullibly buying Jerry’s joke about the “real” title of War and Peace. The upshot is Carol Kane getting beaned by small electronics twice in the same episode.

But, of course, that’s not what makes this episode legendary, no no no.

The A-plot starts with Kramer somehow acquiring 600 used Titleists with a plan to drive out to the beach on Rockaway and hit them into the ocean. Meanwhile, Jerry runs into an old college friend who George has a crush on, and talks George up to her…but, for whatever reason, tells her that George now has a very interesting occupation:

Jerry: Now I should tell you at this point she’s under the impression that you are a…
George: A what?
Jerry: A marine biologist.
George: A marine biologist…why am I a marine biologist?
Jerry: I may have mentioned it.
pause
George: But I’m not a marine biologist!
Jerry: I’m aware of that.
George: So?
Jerry: You don’t think it’s a good job.
George: I didn’t think it was a job!
Jerry: Oh. It’s a fascinating field!

So George has to carry on with the lie, while bemoaning that Jerry couldn’t have made up a better profession for him:

George: Why couldn’t you have made me an architect? You know I always wanted to pretend that I was an architect!

Meanwhile, Kramer has gone to the beach, where he hit one perfect drive, and then:

And then, the payoff. George and his new girlfriend are walking along the beach when they see a crowd of people gathered around a beached whale. And then, the fateful cry:

Bystander: IS ANYONE HERE A MARINE BIOLOGIST?!?

Finally…well, let George tell it:

The best monologue in the show’s history. And the perfect Seinfeld ending, too, with George immediately squandering whatever acclaim or happiness he had just received. (“She told me to GO TO HELL!, and I took the bus home.”)

If I see this episode in the TV listings, it is going on immediately. So glad it was still available.

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