I heard you struck my som
Yes, sir, I did.
And may I ask why?
Yeah, well, because he stole John Wick’s car, sir, and, uh, killed his dog.
…oh…
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Yup.
I’ve pointed this out before, but those guys are also in The Force Awakens just because Rian Jonson is a huge fan of The Raid.
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I also just rewatched John Wick and yeah it’s still great. Pumped for the new one, might actually go to a theater for the first time in a while to see it.
Just a heads up for TMobile customers in the USA, if you use the TMobile Tuesdays app, there is a discount code to see John Wick IV for $5 dollars (good for any standard showtime, but I don’t think it works for IMAX or some of the other fancy formats). I was kinda on the fence about going, but for that price I figure it’s worth it.
[They also ran a similar deal a few weeks ago when Creed III opened, so I’d highly recommend anyone with a TMobile account keep their eyes peeled for similar deals]
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Polyester (1981): I gotta be 100% here, the last John Waters movie I saw was just too much for me. It was too much Waters, my system can’t deal with it. But Polyester is just the right amount of John Waters for me and my lifestyle, I love it, it is a pitch-perfect tableau of suburban consumerist dystopia. Pure bullshit that Divine didn’t win any awards.
Also my friend actually has a for-real Smell-O-Vision card, I have seen it, incredible. I have not smelt it.
“Other films are in the zero-star category by default; any star rating at all seems irrelevant to John Waters’ Pink Flamingos, which exists outside critical terms, like the weather.” - Roger Ebert
Such a beautiful phrase: exists outside critical terms, like the weather.
Reminds me of
I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don’t shine.
-Ebert The Human Centipede
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What’s incredible about Ebert was he always approached movies on their own terms.
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Ya he was hands down the best film critic all time.
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The special tribute they did at the Oscars after Ebert died is probably among the smartest and worthy acknowledgements ever. He was amazing
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The contrast between him and Kael is really instructive. Kael found fault with movies because she personally didn’t like what the filmmaker was trying to do, even if the execution was good. Ebert took the filmmaker’s intentions as the benchmark, and graded them against that.
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Ebert did a few film commentaries. The ones on Citizen Kane and Casablanca are good iirc. Haven’t heard the other ones.
Regrettably with streaming commentaries seem to be going the way of the dodo
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I gotta listen to those. I’m reading his book I HATE MOVIES!!
Could be a good day to rewatch the documentary on him Life Itself. Ebert looks exactly like the kind you’d find shouting stuff at the bar and just as you’re about to ask him to calm down, you hear what he’s saying, and suddenly you’re screaming with him about the pleasures of the 1000+ minute docuseries 28 Up.
Speaking of film criticism, the On Cinema At The Cinema Live Oscar Special this year was one of their best ever
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Life itself is a masterpiece. I watch it once a year. That guy lived life!
Ebert actually tried playing Pokemon before reviewing a Pokemon movie, the man was totally dedicated to his craft.
There are times here on the movie beat when I feel like I’m plain in over my head. This is one of those times. My assignment is to review "Pokemon, the First Movie.‘’ I have done research. I have even played a Pokemon card game with a 6-year-old Pokemon Trainer named Emil. The rules of the game seemed to bear a suspicious resemblance to "War.‘’ At the end of the game, Emil had all 52 cards. I do not know if this is because of his mastery as a trainer, or because he stacked the deck. I do know we were not playing a real Pokemon game; Emil was pulling a fast one.
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P72 gives this gem.
I know how to believe stuff when it happens in the movies. I believe bicycles can fly. I believe sharks can eat boats. I even believe pigs can talk. But I do not believe Assassins, because this movie is filled with such preposterous impossibilities that Forrest Gump could have improved it with a quick rewrite.
They haven’t met when the movie opens, but they receive their orders on matching laptops (the kind where you just put one hand on the keyboard and rattle it in one place, and words get perfectly typed).
The men are soon shooting at one another, for reasons that are explained without the explanations explaining anything, if you get my drift.
I see that the characters played by Stallone and Banderas are named Rath and Bain. Rath becomes Wrath. Bain is French for “bath.” Wrath and Bath. Has a nice ring. I was looking up Electra when the telephone rang, bringing me back to my senses.
But a few pages earlier in the review for An Alan Smithee Film Burn Hollywood Burn, Ebert dropped this gem that’s aged like a petrified turd.
Here’s an interesting thing. The film is filled with celebrities playing themselves, and most of them manifestly have no idea who they are. The only celebrity who emerges relatively intact is Harvey Weinstein, head of Miramax, who plays a private eye—but never mind the role, just listen to him. He could find success in voice-over work.