Listening to the latest episode of The Flop House and all three of the hosts referenced the obscure creature feature Crawl, which I only saw because it was in theaters back in the golden age when MoviePass was giving me unlimited free movie tickets.
Since then I haven’t once ever thought this movie, but I remember having fun? It has an 84%/75% Rotten Tomatoes rating, that’s kind of incredible for a dumb B movie. idk, gonna say strong recommend if you want a cheesy modern monster movie. Like what if an alligator was in your house, that’s the whole movie, it’s great.
Strongly recommend b.j novak’s Vengeance. Could have gone 10x different ways most of which would have been worse. Only problem is BJ is at least 5 years too old for the lead role but whatever. Go watch.
Why wasn’t Jamie Foxx in more movies in the 2000’s’-2010’s? Feel like Collateral and Ray should have put him on the map. One of the most naturally charismatic actors out there, I don’t know why he didn’t become a Tom Cruise-level megastar. He can sing and dance too, one of the very few legit triple threats in Hollywood these days.
I mean, he should have been the lead in a bunch of great movies. I can only think of Ray and Django off the top of my head, but maybe I’m missing something. Just seems like an underutilized talent.
OK I’m wrapping up my viewing of the best horror movies of 2022, here are my spicy takes.
Crimes of the Future
Gotta be honest, I’m kinda squeamish and really not the biggest Cronenberg/body horror fan out there. Still, I got into this largely because of the sci-fi worldbuilding and visual aesthetic. Also, Kirsten Stewart is great, I don’t care what anyone says.Kid eating a plastic bucket is going to stay with me for a very long time, oh wow what a shot.
The Innocents
Oh wow, this one had a strong Steven King vibe to it. Young children confront an evil power. I will warn you there are very intense scenes of young children and cats getting injured. I give it a thumbs up.
Speak No Evil
Holy shit this is one of the most well-paced horror movies I’ve seen in a very long time. Incredible. Strap yourself in, shit is going to get awkward in a funny kind of way and then awkward in an uncomfortable way and then funny again and then oh my god. A+. Recommend if you liked Midsommar.
Side note: I’m not super comfortable with the politics of this movie?
The Sadness
I bailed out after 20 minutes; too edgy for me. Might be good if you’re in the mood for a super-gory zombie flick. Please don’t make a zombie movie that references the COVID pandemic, I am begging you. Thumbs down.
Bodies Bodies, etc.
I basically like Pete Davidson? I feel like I’m supposed to hate him but there’s an element of self-aware comedy to his schtick that I can’t deny. As a massive Agatha Christie nerd, I love how classic murder mysteries are perpetually relevant. A+
Saloum
On reflection, the first half of this movie makes promises that the second half doesn’t deliver, but it’s worth seeing anyway, the first half of this movie is a blast.
It’s pretty much 3 hours back-to-back scenes of Marilyn Monroe beating abused. Most movies that demonstrate a woman being exploited normally do so as a way to get the audience to sympathize with the character. But here, it feels that the movie revels in her exploitation rather than generating sympathy. It’s just so over-the-top with it that you get numb to it and stop really caring. I guess the movie is supposed to be ironic because it is pointing out the Hollywood’s exploitation of Monroe while doing it within this very movie but honestly the whole thing feels dirty.
gave gladiator a rewatch - great film, of course, maybe one of the better ones ever - but god it really stood out to me that awful late 90’s/early 2000’s camera style where during action scenes for some reason the camera flails around wildly and cuts like crazy and you can barely tell what’s happening. who ever thought that was good cinematography?
