Alright need some advice, I’m about to talk to that girls parents.
I’ve remained her friend but pulled back on anything else. I guess she tried to work things out with her boyfriend and he had friends over last night and she saw a girl grabbing on him
She keeps saying she just wants to kill herself now… saying it’s her right, she’s a worthless piece of shit and nobody cares about her etc.
I have to talk to her parents right? I’m not really worried about her never talking to me again
Yes. Someone at least.
It seems like a reasonable step.
I’m wondering who else I can tell. Her parents don’t seem like the type who will have a positive impact. At that point I’m just doing it to get responsibility off of me.
But at the same time I don’t know anyone in her life who would be good, and she is very adamant she doesn’t want help.
A weird thing is she kept saying it’s her choice, her business, her life, and that is something I completely agree with.
What do you do with some who really, really doesn’t want help? You can’t force them.
Fuck
I have one. One of the best things I’ve ever done
Actually you can force her. If you tell the cops she’s about to kill herself, they’ll take her to the hospital. At least in my state, if you fill out an affidavit, a doctor can commit her.
I mean I know, but is that really something that should be done? Like I said I kind of do agree that if someone wants to end it, it’s their decision and having them thrown in a mental institution or jail seems super fucked up.
But I don’t know I’ve never really dealt with that stuff.
Is forcing them to get help the move?
As we discussed earlier there is no real way to know that. I’m stuck between doing nothing and her possibly killing herself and her not being a real threat and me blowing up her life
Then again even if she isn’t serious about suicide it might force her to get help
Yeah. It helped taking through it here, but I realize telling the parents is the only real option, even though that really scares me. They can decide whether she needs a mental institution.
There is a reason why involuntary commitment is on the books. Mental health professionals would tell you that a suicidal person is not of their right mind and that it’s better to let doctors make that call.
It’s generally considered correct to treat someone who talks about suicide as if they are serious. It’s ok to directly ask them what they are planning.
She’s using you and it’s absolutely not ok.
Yeah I realize that but wtf do I do, I can’t ignore suicide threats.
I’m going to talk to the parents later today.
Not denying this, but i don’t think that is what we are dealing with here. You’re talking about someone killing themselves in a state of deep psychosis where theyre not even capable of determining reality or understanding their decision. I really doubt that’s happening here.
This was a super helpful post. Thank you, and you’re completely right.
Figure I just sit them down and tell them. Something like " Hey I need to talk to you guys about something very serious. Me and my friend have been talking a lot recently, and she has been talking about her extreme depression. She has also mentioned suicide a lot, and its gotten a lot worse recently. I don’t know how serious she is, but I know she needs you guys and she needs help "
Sound good?
Figured I’d just give an update.
I told the parents last weekend. As expected the dad was just kinda like, she’s doing it for attention, she just needs to snap out of it, etc. Basically what you’d expect from a white male boomer stuck in the 70s. Mom took it more seriously, as they’ve known about her depression.
She wasn’t even mad at me. She said she was sorry for putting that all on me and we still talk. She is still refusing help and AFAIK there has been zero progress from the parents, but at least it isn’t all on me now.
Thank you for the update! Happy to hear about all of this, and that you’re not dealing with it solo.
A big part of me just wants to cut her off because she’s clearly been dishonest and trying to manipulate me. When we were hanging out she made it seem like she wanted nothing to do with her ex, he was abusive, couldn’t wait to kick him out, was looking for a roommate etc.
I don’t know if it’s because I made it clear I couldn’t do anything more than friendship, but she started going on about how she can’t live without him, couldn’t get help without him, and saying she’s a piece of shit because he’s abusive and shitty but she just wants him to love her.
Whole this is a freaking disaster and I just want out but the guilt of her being super depressed makes it hard to just cut her off.
Lol been there dude like almost the exact same story and it NEVER ends well for you and it IS manipulative
Honestly I have a very difficult time making this post because I think suicidal ideation and intent should be taken very very seriously. But from everything you have written - if there is a type that would do it for attention, she’s it.