Welcome back BB!!
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This part is good to hear.
I can give you the plus and minus side of them only.
On the plus side they insulate your emotions in cotton wool so you stop feeling so intensely down. This enables you to get on with things that your depression was preventing you from doing, including looking after yourself and others, and to become a functional human being again.
The down side in my case and others I’ve talked to is that the cotton wool also prevents you from having all of the usual feelings of empathy you would normally have.
What they won’t give you immediately is a return to feeling totally normal - that takes time. You’ll remain yourself, but a slightly different version. They buy you the time your mind needs to reset itself.
They certainly have their uses and are indispensable in a lot of cases, and I’d take them again if I was close to rock bottom for a while and was cloaked in a cloud of hopelessness and despair.
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As someone whose parents have both passed away I found this very affecting, and thanks for posting it.
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I’m in a bit of a tough spot here and not sure what to do about it. I have something going on in my life that is affecting my mental health greatly, and nobody to talk to about it. I have no close friends, I have insufficient/unstable medical insurance to be able to cover mental health issues, and I cant discuss it with family members. I dont even know why I’m posting here at all, since I cant get into any details, but I’ve been finding myself doing concerningly uncharacteristic behaviors the last few weeks. Crying at the drop of a hat, to the point that I’ve been excusing myself to the bathroom with the exhaust fan on to cover any sound I might make from my family. I started again today while watching Cobra Kai of all things.
I know one of the issues that is exacerbating the underlying problem is job stress. I like my bosses, the people I work with and the pay… but I just dont enjoy the work, at all. I got into accounting back in 2013 to help support my family, because what I was doing wasnt going to cut it, and I just… I dislike accounting. Strongly. I dread logging into work every day even though I have the ultimate job opportunity of working from home and doing relatively easy work, but I just dislike it strongly.
And the worst part is, if someone were to ask me what I would rather be doing, I would have to honestly answer that I dont know.
But that’s just rambling. It isnt the real problem, and I dont know how to solve the problem I do have.
This is rambley I know but I had to put it somewhere.
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Do something else. I did all the high school accounting classes to prepare for college and then heard that the number one suicide rate profession was accountants. I still went back to school for finance/accounting after a break from high school and college after 3 years of music school too but then my business took off and I can’t imagine doing a 9-5 accounting job now. I make a little less but I barely work and try to take care of my employees the best I can. I’d doxx myself basically if I went into it so I won’t but if you aren’t happy then you have skills to do other things imo.
I’m sure I do, but it takes time and money to change careers. I have neither, and a family to care for
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I hear that. You can plan outs though possibly and tough it out until then? If it’s that big that you can’t I’d recommend therapy help in the meantime.
Thanks. It’s something I really do need to look into. It’s a shame that in USA #1 I cant just make an appointment with a therapist without having to worry about whether I have the money to do so. It’s no wonder our suicidality rates suck.
As for the job, I wish I had direction on what I want to do. It feels like something creative, but I dont know. All the things that come to mind seem like silly pipe dreams. I’d love to cook professionally, but who does that?
A lot of people.
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I agree with prana that it sounds like a change of career would help you greatly. I understand what you’re going through as I don’t like my current job and I have to psyche myself up every work day just to log on and get started. I think the only thing that gets me through is that I have a plan in place to be out of it in a year. In the meantime I just list the things I am grateful for regarding the job and remind myself I have done worst work before and that during a pandemic you can’t be too choosy. However if I didn’t have the longterm plan I’d want to stab myself in the eye even with all the positive self talk.
You do sound like you have depression though. Would your medical insurance cover going to a gp and possibly discussing options for antidepressants etc?
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heaps of people cook professionally. Having said that it’s hard work with very long hours that aren’t terribly family friendly. This is a bit out there but have you thought about doing a cooking channel on youtube, it’s something that would take time and work to build up but could be something you can do while still working.
Youtube, podcasts, streaming are all things that also fall into that “Seems like a total pipe dream but I would love to do” option. I just dont see how they make sense financially.
Luckily my youngest is 13 now so we are getting to the point where in a few years his financial well being wont fall on our lap.
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I agree with you to a certain extent but cooking channels are probably one of the best options as people repeatedly look at them for recipes, so you constantly gets hits and rehits. Attaching a blog to it would increase its visibility. Obviously it’s hard work and there are no guarantees but if you set up a restaurant you would have to invest heavily and you still don’t have a high success rate. At least trying something like YT or a blog you’re only really investing your time and you can do it in your spare time. I think with depression it can be good to have something you’re passionate about, regardless of whether it’s a hugely positive thing financially. My garden is my passion and it keeps me going outside even when some days I don’t want to get out of bed.
Trying and failing is better than not trying at all. I often think on my deathbed that I won’t be thinking of my failures I will be thinking about all the things I never even tried because I was scared too. You don’t need to do what I suggested, maybe it’s not for you but you need to try and narrow down how you can change your life so you have something to really live for.
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Agree with Rexx. You say you’re happy with the pay you’re getting from the day job, so if that’s a passion and something to look forward to that keeps you going, it could be invaluable to you even if it isn’t monetarily profitable, as long as the time cost isn’t too much for your family responsibilities.
Best of luck in any case. I realize you indicated that there’s more going on than just the job dissatisfaction.
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Greg gives really good advice.
Baby steps are key when you’re feeling low and just building on them.
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What is the least amount of money per month/year you could live on?
I mean live. Not suffer. Though suffering is also subjective if it’s balanced by a life that otherwise feels worth living, so some compromises are worth considering.
No worries if you prefer to PM or not say at all. Just a hypothetical.
I have about a dozen ideas each day for how to make money as a content creator. I mostly keep them to myself because I’m only one person and can’t pursue all of them. And people are usually paying me to point my idea factory in a particular direction.
Anyway, just happy to brainstorm stuff with you. I can help you get an idea for what’s practical and could be monetized vs what’s probably just going to be a passion project unless it wins the lottery and goes viral. Great value in both.
Sorry you’re going through this. You have people here who care about you and will support you through whatever comes next.
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I appreciate this, I will look into these today and see what they come back with. Thank you for the suggestion
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I am here if anyone wants to discuss MBTI. Obsessed over that one for a while.
As Oreo suggested, none of these tools are going to reveal who you are. Think of them more as tools to EXPLORE who you’ve been, who you are, and who you’d like to be.
Eventually, you will just start making new kinds of decisions, and these tools can be a great aid in offering clarity along the way. You will find confidence in your choices without needing confidence in the outcome.
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Guess which type I am. Tests tend to measure me as being strongly towards one side on all four categories.
It didn’t really tell me anything about myself that I didn’t already know, but it did sometimes help me find the language to describe myself to other people. And it helps me believe that I should try to be the best version of myself instead of trying to be something that I am not.
Now this is a challenge. Let me think on this.
Am I allowed to ask questions or should I proceed knowing only what I know?