Done headspace and my therapist advocates for it and nags me about it constantly, but I can’t tell you how impossible it is for someone with ADD/ADHD (especially the inattentive type) to focus on these things for more than a minute, much less the whole lesson. It’s been fairly impossible for me but I know they’re supposed to help with my anxiety or something. I’m just totally unable to do them.
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Today was the first day in a long time I feel something more than perpetual discontent and yearning. It’s good to be in a good place.
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I’m not an expert by any means but I don’t think you want to grade yourself for how well you are doing. When your mind starts to wonder off just say to yourself “thinking” and bring your attention back to your breath.
If your emotions go wild say to yourself “feeling” and bring your attention back to your breath.
Don’t worry if you are doing it “right” or doing a “good job”. Just be as present as possible and realize you are taking time for yourself.
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Yeah, I mean I think a lot of the benefit comes from recognizing when your thoughts wander and making a conscious effort to return your focus to your breathing. If it was as easy as turning off your brain, we wouldn’t need to meditate.
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The number one rule of meditation is that having thoughts is not failing. It’s success because you noticed you had thoughts. That’s the whole point!
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Added to your post. 
I can relate to a lot of what you shared, similar struggles and feelings.
I’ve been working on being more intentional with the language that I use to describe myself, the challenges that I face, and the aspects of my life that I’m working on changing/improving. Part of that for me is that I try to use language, especially in my self talk, that reminds me that where I am on my journey is temporary.
“Yet” is a simple word we can add on to the end of statements that changes the meaning from decribing a state of permanence into one in which we are dynamic rather than static.
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This is me and any kind of meditation. I start to lose my mind pretty much the instant I stop keeping my mind occupied, and as a result I avoid spending any time sitting with stray thoughts… so couple that with having a hard time focusing because I have ADD and you get me, the least talented person at meditation possibly ever.
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Here’s why this is important, for anyone who’s interested in the science of all this. Mindfulness is awesome because - in addition to helping us to practice attentional and self-regulatory skills - it actually helps us to rewire neural pathways in order to facilitate improved intentionality/awareness.
Weirdly enough, having strong emotional reactions to a thought (oh no, I lost my focus or that’s a terrible thing to think!) actually strengthens the associated neuronal pathways/memories and makes it more likely for us to have similar intrusions in the future. So by working to accept your thought, accept yourself, and return your attention back to the moment, you are both reinforcing healthy pathways and allowing the unhealthy ones to fade away.
P.S. I say this while just being mediocre at mindfulness myself. It’s something we’re all working on!
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Yea that’s a good attitude to have. It’s hard to explain what happens when I try to do these things though. It’s not simply a matter of “oh, my mind drifted off for a second, back to it.” It’s like, 30 entire minutes will go by with me replaying hearthstone games in my head or thinking about something I read that day or a million other things. And then the headspace lesson will end and I’ll be like “oh, woops, I was supposed to be meditating that whole time.”
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This may be what you need to experience while you meditate. At least for now. You will get better at manifesting a more intentional experience the more comfortable you are in this meditative space. Right now, it is enough that you consistently place yourself there.
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This is everyone when they first start.
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Welp, I’m having a full blown anxiety attack now over the election.
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What’s the intensity? Where do you feel it?
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Went to doctor for shortness of breath today that I’ve had the last few months I explained in another thread and Dr. thinks it’s a perpetual panic attack from anxiety. One COVID test was negative and antibody test is processing. She said I’d most likely have had other COVID symptoms other than just breath though which I never had and even when my breath is fucking up I’m 97-99 oxygen level. They did chest Xrays and reported no issues. Weird af.
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I’m gonna say 7 of 10. To be clear it’s not a panic attack, it’s a generalized anxiety attack. I’ve described them as low grade panic attacks that last for orders of magnitude longer. I’ve only had maybe a dozen in my life, small sample but enough too know what it is; the feeling in the stomach and the ruminating thought patterns, inability to focus, etc.
I think what triggered it was an indirect response to betting on the election and paying attention to the betting sites. As in, not being worried about the potential money lost at all, but, having a traumatic flashback to election day 2016 and watching the betting lines move and knowing what that represented.
I cant rightly say if it’d be different had I not bet but lol I felt I had a duty to bet big. Not betting would’ve probably just shifted the trauma to a different trigger.
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Fuck, the flashbacks to the election night was what caused me to do all the crazy exercise I mentioned in the fitness thread. I couldn’t sleep at night. Jump rope for 30 minutes. Wake up at 5:30, start exercising. I lost zero in that election. It was what I was worried was going to come after. I underestimated.
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This sounds like what I just described, a generalized anxiety attack that’s far less acute and with a much longer duration. Although if it’s even less acute and chronic, you’re talking months, it sounds like generalized anxiety disorder.
The last one I had was last election that lasted about 5 days, then before that in 2013 when I moved that lasted about 9 days, etc.
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So, I went to the doctor for ADD this spring though because I couldn’t focus on anything and got prescribed Vyvanse and I quit that shit before the month supply ended because it caused crazy noticeable anxiety and that’s when my breathing shit started. I threw away the last pills and got a COVID test then. Breath shit has happened since though.
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Yeah and I remember the chuds laughing about how much people lost, thoroughly not getting it. Nobody went busto, it was just putting a monetary number on the despair and pessimism.
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Any prescribed medication needs to be slowly scaled up or it will almost always worsen/cause more symptoms. Its malpractice to start people on a therapeutic dose.
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