Mental Health Thread

Sundry Chitchat
528

I can’t speak for your friend, but for me, I needed to know completing the act was one option that was available to me no matter what happened. I often didn’t talk to anyone because my only experiences were sharing these extreme feelings and impulses and then those people would react as though they’d caught me actually doing the thing.

My point there is that I suspect for your friend, they need to know they can talk to you about this without worrying it will instantly escalate to being committed. You can rest secure in the certainty that you will take appropriate action if you truly believe their life is at risk and you’re in a position to save it. But otherwise, I really believe it matters more than you know for you to be a friend this person can simply share these feelings with.

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529

I’m sorry this is something you know so intimately. I had an ex make an attempt when we were together but it’s not something I’ve ever really been close to doing myself and don’t think I could. I mean sometimes I think it would be better if I weren’t around or it wouldn’t matter but not to the point of making it happen. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for my friends, but I do wonder if the empathy I can feel is limited so help I give is imperfect. Thanks for the reassurance.

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532

sorry man

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533

Very sorry to hear it :/

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534

I’m not sure why but I think this Trump Covid thing has really shot my anxiety through the roof. Or maybe it’s unrelated, idk. Had a new one this weekend: I was having trouble controlling my hands.

I got a new wireless keyboard and mouse because I wanted to hook my laptop up to the TV for some gaming. I used it for a while then started feeling some of the usual symptoms, racing thoughts, tingling in my hands/forearms, a sense of fear building up for no reason. Then I suddenly just couldn’t move my fingers to scroll my mouse wheel. Tried just hitting the down button on the keyboard to scroll and after 30 seconds it felt like it couldn’t do that either. Like, just really slow, weird, jerky control of my fingers and wrist. Almost like how your hands get when they’re really extremely cold.

Ended up having a panic attack, unsurprisingly I guess, but I’ve tried using the keyboard and mouse again throughout the weekend and the hands thing has happened two more times and so now I am scared of my mouse and keyboard.

I feel bad posting this after several people have been discussing real problems that they are going through. This is just the dumbest fucking thing and I’m ready to cry thinking about it.

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535

Dude your body isn’t cooperating and you’re having panic attacks. You’re having problems as valid as anyone else in here.

One of the things that was buried really deep inside of me was that I generally tell myself that whatever is going on with me is no big deal or isn’t as bad as other people are going through. That, it turns out, is just as invalid as believing that only your own feelings matter.

I also know that the reason I have this problem is that I was raised by assholes who wanted me to serve their interests over my own.

Regardless, you’re a good dude, your problems are real and worthy of attention, and it’s totally normal to be feeling absolutely awful 10 months into 2020. This is a deeply traumatic experience that our entire civilization is going through, but just because everyone is going through it doesn’t mean it isn’t deeply traumatic. It absolutely is. Give yourself permission to feel how you’re feeling.

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536

This last week sucked pretty bad for me too. Feeling the anxiety pretty hard lately. This is all so out of character for me.

Had my first session which was good. Mostly intro stuff but I like her.

I may be chugging CBD soon. :joy:

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537

Really sorry to hear this. That’s just awful.

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538

Anxiety and/or depression encouragement: if you can, do a physical activity that gets your heart rate up today. Long walk, short walk, cardio or weights, yard work or garden work, playing with your kids outside, whatever you want. At your own pace, for an amount of time that’s good for you. No kids or yard for me, so I’m going for a walk.

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539

Don’t feel bad. That’s a panic attack and they feel very scary.

If it keeps happening, look at “grounding” techniques. I had PTSD for years and it helped me a lot. My grounding technique was to breathe very deeply and focus on the air coming in and going out of my lungs, but I imagine it’s different for everyone.

Here’s a good list:

Some of them sound silly but it really works. The trick is to break the panic feedback loop that’s going wild inside your head.

I still get the occasional panic attack but they’re nowhere near as disturbing as they used to be. They used to happen to me when I had a boat full of passengers whose lives I was responsible for - which just fed the panic more. It’s absolutely terrifying.

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540

Agree with jmakin.

Two grounding techniques that work very well for me:

  1. hold a frozen water bottle in my hands for 30 seconds
  2. as I hold it, I repeat the words, “I am here, I am in my body, I am alive”

A third is only if you have a pet or any other person in your pod that allows for physical contact, but shut off everything–phone, internet, TV, radio, any media–and just hold each other for a few minutes. Turn off the input and the words and simply share the visceral experience of your current moment. Giving myself a few minutes to feel my feelings with another person (or my dog) does a lot to help process feelings that I otherwise perceive as overwhelming to the point I’ll do anything just to feel a moment of relief.

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541

This is interesting, as I’ve noticed that warm or cold water on my hands helps. Back in the before times, I’d sometimes go run my hands under the hot water at work when I felt overwhelmed. I’ll freeze a water bottle and try this next time.

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542

I hope it helps.

I was told to use ice cubes lol but that got messy real quick. I guess you might enjoy the sensation of the water slowly melting and trickling though? Now that I’m thinking about it, I might give that a try :+1:

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543

Mental illness is real illness. Physical hacks that seriously work are evidence of that.

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544

It’s real illness but I don’t like the term at all. “Mentally ill” is commonly used as a pejorative. I can’t tell you how many times some insult involving that word has been thrown at me.

I don’t know what the appropriate word is - I’m not sick, I don’t consider myself ill, I just have a condition that requires medication and it’s under control. What makes me mad about describing myself as “ill” is that it implies I’m not functioning, when I am higher functioning than most of the people I know and have accomplished a fair amount in my life under considerable adversity.

It’s probably better to attack the stigma surrounding mental illness than to just change label - but I honestly hate that term. I just don’t know what else to call it.

I think the crux of the problem is that people use that label as an identity when you wouldn’t really do that with any other disease - I guess maybe cancer, people identify as cancer survivors but it’s a little different.

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545

Yeah being high functioning mentally ill is a fucking trip. I don’t think I’ll ever shake the sensation of being tolerated so that I’ll do all the heavy lifting mentally. It’s a weird sensation of being a burden and exploited at the same time.

Like you know you would not be tolerated by society if you ever stopped producing.

546

Oh no! Terrible. I’m sorry.

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547

CBD oil is better than consuming any kind of food/drink. Way higher bioavailability and gets absorbed faster.

I’d vape but it appears the coil burnt out. Only got the damn pen a week ago and it’s already burned. Guess that’s what happens when you get the cheapest pen available. Will have to get a new one tomorrow.

So much this. Calling me mentally ill is more of a technicality than anything else. Like you said, it also provides a negative connotation that doesn’t effectively describe me.

As for labeling, it’s a bit weird. For example, I’ve been told that based on my psychological history (relayed to me by my mother) I should have been diagnosed as autistic when I was a child. I was actually happy to know that because it meant that I finally understood (or at least begun to understand) why I act the way I act.

Anyway, you adjust to function as a normal adult but overall I have some odd mannerisms and difficulty picking up on certain social cues that get in the way of having a normal life.

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549

I’m so sorry. I hope you’re holding up ok.

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550

Have an ongoing issue with a close friend (actually probably my best friend) that I need some advice on. Sorry for the long post, feel free to ignore it.

I’ve known this guy for a long time and we lived together for a few years, but were friends before that. He’s always sort of had… issues. Nothing bad and he’s not a bad guy at all, but he has an extremely difficult time controlling his emotions and has a tendency to get really wrapped up into very specific girls and behaving, to be quite honest, kind of weird with them and then gets totally and completely crushed if/when it doesn’t work out.

Anyway he’s always drank a lot but I never really pegged him as having a “problem” - he’s just sort of an asshole when he’s drinking and using (he has bouts with cocaine and heroin). But I tolerate it because I love the guy, but there’s been one or three times where he’s been totally out of line and I’ve called him out and we’ve fought over it. I’m definitely NOT an enabler and I don’t tolerate bullshit.

He had a falling out with his last girlfriend because he went on a bender and completely lost his shit on her, breaking his phone and leaving it on her car hood for some reason. It really freaked her out and she wished to have no contact with him again, prompting him to seek treatment for his alcohol use. In his mind I think, he thought he was gonna get treated and everything was gonna be fine and they’d get back together. Well, they didn’t and it became obvious after a few months of his treatment that they wouldn’t.

He was going all out in therapy and they were treating him for his alcohol use and for major depression, even doing shock therapy and stuff. I was really glad he was seeking help and he seemed REALLY happy and content and like he had his shit together, which was a nice change from what I’m typically used to.

Anyway after some point when it became obvious he wasn’t getting back with the girl, he starts drinking again for a month and doesn’t say anything to me about it until one day he just comes out with it randomly. I said, ok, but didn’t you tell me over and over it caused nothing but trouble in your life? what gives? And he just said nah he’s fine having the occasional drink or two. I challenged him a little more but he’s an adult and I believe adults can make their own damn decisions and certainly don’t need my approval for it.

Fast forward another month and he goes on some sort of bender and quits his job on the same day he was supposed to come into work. No warning, nothing. He had no backup job. He has no health insurance now so he’s not in therapy anymore. Now it’s obvious to me he’s completely broke, he doesn’t have much of a safety net outside of his mother, and I’ve tried asking him what his plan is and he just says oh I’ll figure it out. But he has no plan and has just been drinking and getting high all day every day. I’ve been trying to spend as much time with him as I can (we play video games together online) because I don’t want him to get lonely and depressed and hurt himself.

So, anyway, things are clearly getting worse and he’s out of money with no plans. I worry he’s just planning on killing himself and I don’t know what to do about it. He won’t talk about it, I think, I’ve tried asking him if he was ok and he just says yea I’m fine. Maybe I should push a little more? I’m really concerned. I’ve told his dad I’m very concerned as well (his dad’s my golf instructor) and he agrees but no one in his family really seems to give much of a shit what happens to him, and I don’t think they’re much of a safety net.

So what the hell do I do? I feel like he’s going to kill himself. I don’t know why but I just have a really strong feeling. Maybe it’ll be on accident, maybe not, but this isn’t sustainable and he needs to wake the fuck up and get his life together. But he just won’t.

Last night he didn’t even have $10 for a playstation sub and that’s when it became clear to me how bad things have gotten. He’s never been great with money. I have the means to help him out - but feel I shouldn’t. Like, I wouldn’t let him be homeless - I’d definitely try to give him a room or something, maybe some cash to get back on his feet. But that just seems like a bad idea and that he’d blow it on drugs and/or alcohol and do nothing. I don’t want to enable.

WTF do I do?

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